Adult AS diagnosis in the UK - No parental involvement

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Hello,

This is my first post here but it looks like I've come to the right place for advice!

I'm 25 and after a rather horrific time at University I began to suspect that I had some degree of Aspergers Syndrome. I voiced my concern to my long term girlfriend and her parents and it turned out they had been thinking it too.

I decided to seek help and went to my GP for a referral a year ago and when the forms came through I decided not to proceed as it stated that a parent would need to be present to provide info about my childhood.

This is a problem for me as I absolutely do not want any parental involvement. I have a small group of people who support and understand me however my family is not part of this.

I'll elaborate a bit:

Partly this is because my parents separated when I was 12 and I stopped seeing my dad at this point (who has now fathered an autistic child with his new partner) and partly because the relationship between myself and my mum is very strained. She seems to deny that non-physical disorders exist as well as mental illnesses like OCD and depression. I've brought up autism in conversation in the past and her response was "I think we are all a bit autistic".

This is her cover-all belief for everything disorder related and I am pretty sure this absolute denial of disorders will cause a problem if she came with me for the diagnosis. I am certain she will give a rose-tinted account of my childhood rather than a factual one.

Has anyone been through something similar? Is there another way for adult diagnosis? Ideally the only person I'd want with me for a diagnosis is my girlfriend of 7 years as she has been witness virtually everything!

I've since requested another referral for diagnosis, however if family are the only option then I will not be able to go for it.

If anyone has any advice I'd be very very grateful. I never post in forums so this is a bit of a first for me!

First off, welcome to Wrong Planet! Please consider us a resource and I bet you have a lot of good stuff to contribute, too.

Okay, about filling out the forms, there might be a way to finesse it. I read the book AND THE WALLS CAME TUMBLING DOWN by the Civil Rights leader Ralph David Abernathy and in part of it he talked about being a young black man in the American south. When he went to register to vote, there was a long form, much of it did not apply to him and it occurred to him that he just needed to put something in every space and so in many spaces he simply wrote the polite complete sentence "This does not apply to me." He also had to finesse a verbal interview and he speculated that the older white fellow rather liked the way he gave one answer. Obviously, many, many black people in the south were not able to vote.

So, what if you write something like 'I do not have a good relationship with either parent. I do not want them to be part of the diagnostic process.'

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And I think this is a golden example of why more of our institutions should be multi-path and not single-path, because it isn't one size fits all. And this is especially true, or should be, with schools and with jobs.

I get the idea that spectrum self-advocacy is further along in the UK than it is here in the states, although I guess with both have things we can learn from each other.

Maybe, even if you're not intending to apply for disability benefits (and to me, being on the Asperger's-Autism Spectrum is both a difference and a disability, and not just a disability), maybe they figure they have to really do it right and err on the side of not diagnosing someone. Well, there still has to be a better way and I'm not sure not diagnosing someone and leaving them out in the cold is such a great solution either.

If you're looking for a diagnosis mainly for purposes of self-knowledge and personal growth, that may open up some other avenues. And really, I don't think DSM-IV is all that great. It's not like Moses coming down with stone tablets. For example, it doesn't really talk about sensory issues! That is absolutely amazing once you think about it. It's the work of a committee and wow . . . you guys didn't really talk with many people on the spectrum at all, did you?

Following is an autism activist's fun, creative, spoof re-write of DSM-IV. And I think it's better than the original!
http://www.journeyswithautism.com/2009/ ... or-autism/

Did you ask if you could be tested without a parent being involved? They like to involve a parent to find out more about your childhood but I don't think it is essential. Do you have any brothers or sisters that could help? A sibling's viewpoint may well be just as useful as a parent's viewpoint.

You also have the right to anonymity. In other words they cannot refuse you a referral just because you don't want your parents involved. Check the forms again and if need be have a chat with your GP.

Welkome to WP

Mick

Thanks for the replies both of you and the welcomes all 3 of you. (This is by far the friendliest forum I've ever read!)

They both make sense and yeah being honest about my relationship with my parents is probably the easiest option. Don't know why I didn't think of that! I always picture the NHS as this sluggish and totally inflexible machine. Still, at least we don't have to pay for it.

Oh and yes I do have a sibling however he's much too close to my mum, as mad as it sounds I feel much more comfortable keeping my family completely out of things!

Thanks again for the responses!