Hi I'm new here :o)

Page 1 of 1 [ 11 posts ]

Joined: 25 Nov 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 11

26 Nov 2012, 7:25 pm

Hi, I'm new here...I was hoping to get some advise....It was suggested I come here. Anyway...I'm 20 years old and female my best friend for years is a guy and he is 22. We have been best friends for years and he has aspergers.
Recently we moved our relationship from friends to dating.
I'm little scared not because he has aspergers...but because he is such a good friend and I don't want to mess up our friendship. A few people have told me I am setting myself up to get hurt and that this won't work out because of his aspergers. But I don't see him as being so diffrent after all it is part of what makes him be him....it just seems like the natural thing to do......I haven't really dated alot....part of the reason is because so many people are so fake....trying to impress othersand not being who they really are.....Thatsone thing I really like about this guy...he is who he is ALL the time......how does nybody know if any reationship will work out....aspergers or no aspergers. Any advice to share )
Thanks for listening

Tim_Tex
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Jul 2004
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 46,149
Location: Houston, Texas

26 Nov 2012, 7:28 pm

Welcome to WP!

_________________
Who’s better at math than a robot? They’re made of math!

BTDT
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 26 Jul 2010
Age: 61
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,516

26 Nov 2012, 7:36 pm

I've been married for over a decade--our relationship has gotten much better since she figure out I have Aspergers--it was OK before, but there is a lot less stress now that we understand that there are some things that I just don't get... Communication is the key to any good relationship--we now make it a point to make sure we understand what are partner wants, even if it is a little awkward at times. For instance, my wife wanted the Christmas lights hung a little differently from the roof--it took a while before I understood what she wanted. Like most Aspies, I remembered exactly how it was done last year...and was planning an exact repeat until our discussion.

Last edited by BTDT on 26 Nov 2012, 7:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

BTDT
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 26 Jul 2010
Age: 61
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,516

26 Nov 2012, 7:37 pm

And Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Sometimes we get wrapped up in things and forget to say hello.

noxnocturne
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 5 Nov 2012
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,693
Location: Harassing Muggles

26 Nov 2012, 7:42 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

AspieWolf
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Apr 2010
Age: 79
Gender: Male
Posts: 657
Location: Out of my mind. Back in 10 minutes.

26 Nov 2012, 8:13 pm

Welcome to WP! There's no way to know how things will work out I'm afraid, without just jumping in and finding out. If you have been good friends for some time, then that's a good starting point. The best suggestion I can offer is to go into the dating scene very slowly and see what happens. Good luck and remember to have fun and enjoy yourself.

_________________
"A man needs a little madness...or else...he never dares cut the rope and be free."
Nikos Kazantzakis, ZORBA THE GREEK

Some of us just have a little more madness than others!

LittleBird
Butterfly

Joined: 25 Nov 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 11

26 Nov 2012, 8:41 pm

Thanks for the warm welcome )
I was happy to see that BTDT has been married for some time and it's working well...that's GREAT!
A few people have told me that we would have lots of problems but we have never had problems being friends....so I am having trouble understanding why we would have trouble dating and perhapes moving on to marriage.
I really care for him.
And AspieWolf....You know I just have to wonder how any body knows when they are starting a relationship if it will work....I mean isn't that why people date in the first place. My parents said the same thing you are saying just go slow and see how things go. But I have known him for years....lol....one thing I really like is when I have something to say to him....I can just be open and honest....and I like it that I always know how he feels about things because when he has something to say he says it....