care and feeding of your aspie

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Not really... if there is nothing wrong with us... then there is no support needed... if we are just different, then there is no need for social skill training, accomodation, education, awareness or advocacy...

But I have made my points...in my blog... you are free to disagree...

Do you think if the world only contained people with aspies it would be ok?

I know I don't. Some think the world would be a better place if everyone was like us, frankly, everyone in the world thinks that about themselves or their own kind of person, but it wouldn't negate any world issues, it wouldn't solve any problems, and we know this because it never has.

Humans, as a whole, are all the same: They fear what they don't understand, they're slow to change and quick to judge, they'll fight each other over philosophy, they go to war and kill each other over the same. Everyone in the world is subject to exactly these kinds of flaws, but has the world changed for the better because of overall similarity? No, because people don't learn.

The problem isn't that everyone is different, the problem is humanity is ignorant, stupid, selfish, intolerant, arrogant, and egotistical. People think that everything has to go by their way of life or how they think life should be like, and it causes problems with everyone who disagrees with them. People don't stop to think that their way isn't the only way.
Whether we want to admit it or not, people on the spectrum are even more immovable than others at times because we think how we handle things will work for others on the spectrum, even though most of us know that we're all different, it still does occur, even on this forum I sometimes see where people try to push their solutions on others here because it worked for them. So imagine an entire world of people who do just that, solves nothing.

Do you think the world would be better without us? (The subtext in my questions is the notion as to whether aspie people have something wrong, or are part of the fabric in the same ways as NT's)

Same answer, solves nothing in the world.

No... I do not... This has been discussed ad nauseum under the concept of "Aspergia"

There are many many many jobs that are required for the functioning of any society that we cannot do. Loud, smelly, tedious, boring, repetitive, stressful... All of these things make jobs difficult for aspies... and all of the jobs that keep a society going have one of those traits...

Further... Put 20 aspies in a room... unless they share special interests, there will be no interaction in most cases because they have nothing in common... ALL the awkward in one room.

Population would fall due to the lack of social graces that allow us to get laid.

I believe that the world would self destruct due to the lack of frame of reference...

Nope... the world is a s**thole with or without us...

I will state it again... If there is nothing wrong with us... we need no understanding, accommodation, or even the label... If there is nothing wrong with us, then there is no need to have us in the DSM.

When NTs look at an aspie and say, "God, what an as*hole!" They are right, because there is nothing wrong with us.
When NTs say, "Oh, just get over it, it's just a noise." They are right, we can do it... because there is nothing wrong with us.
When NTs say, "You're just attention seeking." They are right, because there is nothing wrong with us.

I am fine with that belief... but if we maintain that there is nothing wrong with us, then by our own words, we give up the right to ask for any understanding, explanation or accommodation because those are things that are needed because there is nothing wrong with us.

I'll have one more crack...!

I think aspies communicate effectively amongst one another - certainly well enough to produce food, and an organised society look at Germany . Not all aspies share a dislike for loud noises, or bright lights etc. If the world were 51% aspie, would NT's be wrong?

I do not agree that accomodation for a difference indicates something wrong in the party being catered for. This type of thing happens between men and women, child and parent, oap and carer, man and dog, foreigners and natives.

Aspie types are hugely over represented in the business world in my experience. I have seen aspie types as CEO's, doctors, I myself have a good job in a bank. However, they are hugely underrepresented in my local nightclub! When I look at NT types mindlessly chained to conformity, following each other about like lost sheep - I feel that feature of them is wrong - I don't think there wrong though, just different. After all they have many gifts.

I don't like wrong because it implies that NT is the normalcy that I, unfortunately, am not. So where does this leave me? With a flawed viewpoint that should be adjusted? Is being stupid wrong? Is being gay wrong? Is being short wrong? Is being a man wrong - after all woman have higher emotional intelligence then men.

I do not want NT people thinking we are wrong. I want NT people to be educated as people are about different cultures, and see our strengths and weaknesses. Like the balance between the sexes, a partnership! I certainly do not want aspie children thinking they are wrong; we would lose them all to low self esteem. I want aspie children thinking about their strengths and weaknesses.

Fundamentally: Wrong implies lesser. Because when is wrong ever preferable? I like being this way!

it is my belief that in this instance you are not wrong but wrong about wrong. I have a dream...

“What would happen if the autism gene was eliminated from the gene pool?
You would have a bunch of people standing around in a cave, chatting and socializing and not getting anything done.”
― Temple Grandin, The Way I See It: A Personal Look at Autism & Asperger's

You will not change my opinion on this. You asked the questions, I have simply responded. This is the last I will discuss on the subject because I am very tired of the topic. You have your opinion on it. I have mine. Mine may be a bit dour, but I am a realist and favor the definitions as espoused by the Medical Community. It took me 30 years to come to the conclusions that I stand on. I have respect for your views, respect mine please, and stop trying to convince me.


Ummm... 1) don't know what germany has to do with anything. 2) Yes, not all have sensory issues... but enough do that it would be problematic. At best. HOWEVER... you ignored the ones we have, almost entierely... Boring, repetitive (outside of special interests), stressful, and tedious jobs are not for aspies...


No... at 51%, with standard statistical deviation, there is no difference between 50% and 51%. But this example is flawed... we are not close to the mean. We are (if the one in 88 is correct, which I believe is not) 1.13% Meaning that we are, (both medically, and statistically) an aberration. The tern Neurotypical states, directly, Neuro - typical... Brain normal. I discuss this HERE and HERE.


It does not. However... When difference becomes different enough that it needs a label... like Autistic Spectrum Disorder, or Asperger's Syndrome... It is no longer a case of base human respect that is require for accommodation. A retooling of thought and expectation of behavior is required... However... Let's abandon the label of disease... Let's embrace, condition, disorder or... as it is named... Syndrome. Merriam Websters says that is "a group of signs and symptoms that occur together and characterize a particular abnormality" and the farflex medical dictionary states "a set of symptoms occurring together; the sum of signs of any morbid state; a symptom complex. See also entries under disease"... Disorder - "a derangement or abnormality of function; a morbid physical or mental state." Condition - "A disease or physical ailment."

BY DEFINITION... Asperger's and Autism are Diseases, syndromes, conditions and disorders. I am black and white, if the foo s**ts, the word fits... I am a realist and I am not going to bend on that... Language is imprecise enough that if we cannot accept the words, then there is no point in using them.

My point is... since the words I have just discussed describe Autistic Spectrum Disorders and Asperger's Syndrome... If you have them, you have a disease, condition, disorder, or syndrome (take your pick)... If there is nothing wrong with you, then you have no set of symptoms to diagnose said disease, condition, disorder, or syndrome.

I am not condemning you, shoehorning you, minimalizing, marginalizing or any of the other INGS that are bad... But I believe that if we are going to insist on truth as much as we do... we should be honest with ourselves...

That being said... I am not defined by my autistic perceptions of the world, nor am I remotely limited... I am a published author (not the care and feeding series, but my first novel), I am a successful photographer, an award winning short film director... I have friends and family that would do almost anything I ask of them... But I am still broken. And I know it... by acknowledging that, I am able (through introspection and cognitive behavioral therapy) to make the adjustments I need to make.


Aspie types... are they actually diagnosed Autistic SPectrum Individuals, or are you just calling them "aspie types". Most Aspies find the grind and churn of a nightclub over stimulating and socially uncomfortable. Aspies follow like sheep as well...


You don't like wrong... because it implies that NTs... the neuro TYPICAL... the mean, the average, the normal by definition... Let's look at the word normal...
1) conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural. - Hmmm NT
2) approximately average in any psychological trait, as intelligence, personality, or emotional adjustment. - also NT
3) free from any mental disorder - Autism and Asperger's in the DSM (i do not agree with its removal) It is a mental disorder.
4) free from any infection or other form of disease or malformation... I will address that with a photo

[img][800:671]http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OK1sMVHv1Hc/Uiv8psduiDI/AAAAAAAABp8/PMBDqD2xMQ8/s1600/Autism_Extra4_1280_940x671.jpg[/img]

Temple Grandin on the left, NT on the right... Physical Evidence of a miswiring.


They already do that... to educate them about our strengths and weaknesses is to acknowledge that we have them... saying I am different does not impress upon them that there are things we CANNOT change. Excessive self esteem leads to entitlement issues and worse... And NTs are not educated about different cultures... they are as ignorant about that as they are.


No. You have chosen one definition and stuck with the connotations of that definition... Wrong can also mean "out of order; awry; amiss"... Words never imply... people imply. In this case... Wrong is the correct word to use, because it is accurate.


Believe what you will. My entire blog series is told from my standpoint, and I make that abundantly clear. I mean the words I say, nothing more, nothing less. Each issue is a soul wrenching search for the right words and meanings... And there is something WRONG with me... our of order, awry or amiss... I know it...I see it... Other see it. Hell, for 20 years, till I met my permanent partner...I though EVERYONE hated me... they were bearing their teeth at me... which is an aggressive and hostile act... It turns out, they were just smiling. That is just one little thing, but I am about 35 degrees of the plumb... and I am self assured and enough of a realist to accept that.

If you disagree with my use of the word wrong, knowing which definition I use, that is absolutely fine... However, I will not be changing my use of it... It gets the point across, conveys my feelings and is accurate... Like with the word autistic - i have the right to label myself as I see fit, political correctness be damned.

This next statement sounds pissy, but it is not intended to be: But if it bothers you so much, I suggest you substitute an of the following mentally when you see my picture and I have used the word "wrong"

Amiss
Awry
unsound
fluffed
out
askew
faulty
not right
not working
out of commission
On the wrong track
out of order
out of line
sophistical
specious - I like that one
spurious
unsatisfactory... This one fits... NT or not, if you are satisfied with who you are, then you have stopped learning.

I will swap it for alternative (but only in my head ).

Sorry to hear about your problems in the past. You have written some gripping stuff.

I am not sorry for my pain... and I would have it no other way... without my pain, I would be a different person...

And thank you for the compliment

I would like to apologize for the tone of these statements... I should have stated that the conversation is much older than the discussion between you and I... I have grown weary of it, as my issue with language has been and always will be the imprecise nature of it AND the emotional connotations that get linked to words... When a discussion like this happens, it is never the word that is discussed, but what people add to the word.

No problem - although for something to be wrong, by definition something has to be right. I am not a wrong NT. Can of worms?

As I stated... I am done with this topic... you have your opinion, I have mine... we must agree to disagree

>>>Part 58<<< - My Tummy Hurts

Very accurate description of the vicious cycle that occurs. Add an anxiety disorder to that mix and you'll find yourself trying not to scream from the pain.

I think I am lucky that my intestinal symptoms fit a diagnosis (even if it's an atypical presentation). I get better treatment that way.

Merry Christmas!