Probably should've posted this before responding to other threads and posting my own. I'm 25, recently married, an working on my bachelors in Computer & Information Science. I haven't been diagnosed, but strongly suspect I have Asperger's. I first heard about on TV and thought "Wow, my-then-coworker-so-and-so totally has Asperger's!" When discussing with another coworker who was close to her, she just laughed and said that by the definitions I had given her, I feel into that category too. She pretty much achieved Inception with me, and I began obsessing over the possibility. The first thing I did was take some tests online. Out of all the ones I took, only one said I was an NT. I spent countless hours reading and debating about the possibility, until I finally found a community of bloggers who have Asperger's. I had never enjoyed reading blogs, but WOW. I have never related to others' experiences so much. Of course all of this came at a very stressful time for me. The man I just married had been shipped off to boot-camp after joining the military. I was at a new school, and practically failing out. I had been diagnosed with mild heart-issues (which was scary at the time!), was still learning how to drive (it was THE MOST horrible experience EVER) and had to plan, all by myself, a move across country, away from my parents' home which I had lived all my life. With all this gone, my traits--which I normally just shrugged off as idiosyncrasies, and quirks, began to become a real issue for me. I realized I had issues with empathy, and communicating. I realized why I had issues with executive function. Why I talked differently, thought differently, and ultimately felt like an alien all my life. As a teenager I was diagnosed with mild depression and ADHD. Later, they dropped the ADHD and only treated me for my "depression". I think they were wrong. I think I had mostly issues with anxiety, and couldn't communicate that. I've been lucky. Most people think I'm very well-adjusted, just quirky. But after a day of playing the roll of a well-adjusted individual at work, I am exhausted when I get home. I've had the same couple of friends since the 2nd grade. Again, luck. I don't expend much energy in maintaining these relationships, but my friends, family and husband all have a high-tolerance for me. Almost as if I'm a spoiled child (I am a spoiled only child :p), everyone around me seems fine (most of the time) with dealing with my inept social & interpersonal skills. I'm the one people come to for help solving problems, or a reality check--but I can't even hug my mother when she's crying. I'm considered by many to be attractive, and I think that has mattered a lot in attracting people to me, because I certainly don't know how to start a conversation. But only a handful of people remain after a while of dealing with me, and that's fine. These traits helps weed people out of my life. I want a diagnosis not because I'm looking to change myself, I love myself with all my flaws and I understand some parts of life will be more difficult because of them ( everyone's life is difficult). I want a diagnosis to validate the opinions I have of myself and to help me recognize my limitations. But first I need to get my friends & family on board, because I know I will go absolutely crazy if I have no one to talk to death about these things. I'm ranting. Obviously I love talking about myself. I'd put this in a blog, but I would feel bad if not a single person read it. Someone not reading my discussion thread doesn't sound quite as bad. If you made it to the end of this, hello, nice to meet you. Maybe your thoughts and experiences will help me figure myself out.
16 Apr 2014, 10:44 pm
welcome to the club 
