Hi, I'm new.

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So, I'm 34, and I have recently been diagnosed with Asperger's. I kind of wonder why it took so long, but looking back it all makes sense I suppose. I have been struggling with depression for a long time, and I suppose I'm one of those cases where people with Asperger's get depressed because we don't socialize that well.

I started graduate school last year and I really didn't socialize with people well at all. So grad school didn't work out, and then I got horribly depressed as a result and went to the hospital, twice... So they are saying I have bipolar II or depression imposed onto my Asperger's...

Sorry to drop my life story on this forum. I was just hoping for some support or to see if anyone else had similar experiences...

That's a short life story, to cover a whole 34 years! I write longer posts than that, describing a walk to the mailbox.

I don't personally have any experience with Bipolar issues, but I am all too familiar with chronic depression and autistic social problems throwing up seemingly insurmountable obstacles to your goals. In fact, I'd say it's very nearly universal among those with High Functioning Autism to go through periods of bleak depression on a cyclical basis, though I can't say I experience any particular manic period in between. I have downs and I have plateaus, but I can't say I've had a lot of highs.

Welcome
I too have been dealing with depression for a while and have suspected a possibility of bipolar and minor ocd
Im sure there are others here with similar issues of varying degrees.this is a great place for support as we can do it at our own pace

Sorry to hear you have had a difficult time. I am 35, and only got my diagnosis a year ago so I know how it feels to think, "why didn't that occur to anyone sooner?" In my case, nobody was diagnosing girls with Asperger's in my hometown when I was growing up, so by the time I was a teenager, bipolar was the dx that I got. It took me fourteen years to get my bachelors, because of social dysfunction and difficulty with organization and "life skills". So don't give up on grad school just yet, if it is what you want--take some time and look for a program which better meets your needs. It helps to be able to outline what you need, so you can give the list to a prospective advisor. If they say they can't work with you to meet your needs, find another program with faculty that will. Smaller schools tend to have more flexibility than larger universities.

Welcome & good luck!

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome to WP.

Welcome to WP ElviratheDark! I am sure you will find much support and make friends here. It is a good group!

Welcome to the freakshow

Welcome!

And echoing previous sentiments..... your post was very efficient in length (if there is such thing). I am ridiculously top heavy in any post / email / txt situation. We are the same age! I really connected with what you wrote about depression imposed on an AS diagnosis (for the record not formally diagnosed). It's been a crazy ride thinking well what came first- the chicken or the egg? Yes, I'm generally depressed and always highly anxious, but what do you treat first and what is exacerbating what?

Finding AS and my fit with it at this age has been somewhat of a relief. Now I get why dx's of depression and GAD with accompanying meds never came close to cutting it for me personally. I have Bi-polar in my family but have never had it as a dx for me. I can totally relate to your educational pursuits and it not panning out. I found re-attempting completing school and further studies with people younger than me + social ineptitude, a long hard road.

Welcome again and I hope you find great support, info and friendship here

Welcome Elvira

I recently got diagnosed and I am 32 with occasional bouts of depression. I felt like that most of the time though it's just sometimes it was worse than others. Although it can be a lot to take on board and learn about I am sure it will be helpful to you to have a diagnosis to work with x

I had a somewhat similar experience. I was counseled in high school and college for depression/anxiety. It was a struggle for me to graduate (though academically I did quite well) because of social and academic issues I now realize are tied to autism. I always felt different and isolated and anxious about everything that remotely involved interpersonal communication (sadly unavoidable in school). I think my therapists just saw me as a bright person with potential who was rather inexplicably sad and anxious.

Years later I am in graduate school and am back in regular counseling, which I sought because I was so anxious/depressed by the barrage of social interaction required in my program. I lucked into an open-minded therapist. I came in after seeing her for months and told her I was pretty sure I have Asperger's. And she told me she was surprised she had not thought of that herself. But it took almost 10 years of counseling and I still had to essentially self-diagnose.

I absolutely think symptoms of depression mask autism, but I also doubt most clinicians have autism on their radar... I think much of my personal anxiety/depression results from fear of interacting with people and perceived isolation. The Asperger's is still something I'm working through, but I feel much better having a reason that makes sense to me for why I get so anxious and depressed.

Also grad school is such an emotional roller coaster! Sometimes I am just scraping by. And it's challenging to see other students form relationships and personally be kind of stuck with basic acquaintances and no one to interact with outside of work. So you're definitely not alone there!