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Hello everyone, I just joined yesterday.

I'm 17 years old and I'm from the UK. I love animals, art, fantasy, video games, music, nature, and lots of other things too. In real life I've always been the 'short, weird geeky kid' and I'm very shy, quiet and self-conscious and I find most social situations stressful, confusing and quite scary, and I don't really understand other people very well, but I love making friends and I quite enjoy talking to people. (is that a little self-contradictory?) Although I love making friends, I find it difficult to create and maintain friendships with people, and social situations stress me out/scare me so much that I often avoid them, so as a result I never really socialise. I'm very jumpy and I get scared very easily. I always try my best to be as nice and friendly to everyone else as possible and I'm never rude on purpose, which causes me to worry a lot about whether something I've said/done was the right thing to say/do in that situation, and I think about it for a long time afterwards, and I often end up overthinking and making myself panicky. That and I find places with large amounts of people quite intimidating, overwhelming and confusing, kind of like a big scary blur of people and noise.

I currently go to CAMHS sessions where I've been told I have depression, anxiety and Asperger's (which I was also told by the school counselor when I was attending school). I'm not currently in school as, from the start of this academic year onwards (Year 12 for me) my depression and anxiety got a lot worse which really interfered with my ability to learn and work, or even get into school on time/at all. As a result, in March I was heavily advised (well... I was pretty much forced) to leave in order to help myself get better and to then either retake the year or go somewhere else. (I'm planning to go to college in September) Before I left I was studying Art, Spanish, Physics and Computing, although Spanish was the only one I was really doing okay with, as I couldn't keep up with the workload in Art, and my brain was too overloaded with anxiety to retain any information I learned in Physics and Computing. I'm also tired all of the time due to very low iron levels in my blood, which made it worse as I kept falling asleep in lessons. (which was also because my anxiety kept me awake a lot and I'd get an average of about 2 hours sleep per night)

The psychologist whom I see at CAMHS says my Asperger's is somewhere between mild and moderate. I struggle with social situations and I often interpret what people say too literally (although I can nearly always pick up on and understand humour) or I accidentally phrase things in a weird way so people think I mean something else to what I was actually trying to convey. I'm bad at picking up hints and subtext in what people say/do and I find eye contact quite difficult. I'm really sensitive to my surroundings, particularly noise. Loud noises cause me great distress and some particular noises upset me a lot, often making me feel like I'm going to scream/start crying. Apparently I flap my hands when I get excited. (I never noticed it until my mum pointed it out) I have my own routines which I stick to and I have to plan things out in great detail, and it often upsets me if things don't go exactly according to plan. I have quite an 'unusual' sense of humour. (as I've been told) I love learning about and analysing things I'm interested in and I have a habit of getting caught up in the small details. I like to use fantasy as an escape from reality. (mostly video games [especially Pokémon] and stories [especially Lord of the Rings])

I've always had concentration problems and spend a lot (maybe even most) of the time, as I call it, 'physically present but mentally absent'. I never zone out on purpose, I usually don't realise for a long time. (sometimes for half an hour or more) Ever since I was little, my school teachers always described me as a 'daydreamer'. I can zone out at any time, even if I'm doing/observing something I'm interested in. (e.g. reading a book, watching a film) A lot of the time I'll zone out whilst doing something, but still carry on what I was doing albeit absent-mindedly, and then I won't remember it later on. Sometimes it feels as if I'm playing hide and seek with myself as I'll move something somewhere when I'm zoned out and then won't be able to remember where I put it later on. When that happens it's more just simply annoying than anything, but sometimes I experience something I find pretty scary which, when I've described it to others, I've been told sounds like derealisation/depersonalisation. (and when I read descriptions of it, it seems to sum up what I feel/experience when it happens really well)

I heard this site mentioned around the net a few times and yesterday I finally decided to check it out. I thought it looked pretty awesome and so it didn't take me long to decide to sign up.

Phew, sorry about my rambling, I'm not so good at condensing things which I say. Soooo, yeah, I'm not sure what else to say other than hi.

Welcome to the Forum

Everything is Right on WrongPlanet!

Short, weird geeky kid? You sure you're not an older time-traveller version of me? XD
Just kidding. Welcome!
I like those things, too.
Hey, do you have any pets?

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

@kraftiekortie and AnonymousAnonymous- Thank you

@ValerieFaller- Haha
Thanks
Ooh awesome
Yep, I have a little Syrian Hamster called Zekky. (short for Zekrom, one of my favourite Pokémon)

Welcome to WP.

You seem to have a lot of self awareness. I know that can be difficult as it may intensify the worry and pain. Like using a magnifying glass on yourself in the sun. But it will in time be an aid to you in mastering your feelings and surroundings I believe. You just have to believe in yourself and think long term.

I liked the 'Hide & Seek' analogy btw.

Haha! Cute name ^.^
I keep twin cats, Buddy and Princess.
In my defense, I was ten when I got them. ^.^ Nowadays they'd probably be named after characters from some TV show. ^.^

@Toy_Soldier- Thank you
Oh wow, I hadn't thought of that, and that magnifying glass analogy really sums up my worrying over things I've said/done. I'll try to remember that.
Haha, thanks. It's the most accurate analogy I could think of as it really does feel like that sometimes.

@ValerieFaller- Thanks
Ooh, awesome! Aww, those are cute names
Haha

May I ask what kind of music you enjoy?
I hope I don't scare you off by being blunt...
I tend to do that by accident sometimes.

Welcome to WP

Overthinking seems a pretty common thread around here, so you will fit right in with us

Welcome to WP

@ValerieFaller- I like lots of types of music, although my favourite bands/musicians tend to be ones that fall into the category of alternative rock. How about you?
(and you don't come across that way to me, you seem really nice )

@SyAn- Thank you
Ahh, it's nice to find somewhere where I fit in

@n8dogg- Thank you