Hello, again, hello (sorry)

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I've been here before, years ago, and am now back with many of the same communication difficulties but hopefully a different perspective after a few years of personal growth and other nonsense. I'm 46, formally diagnosed recently, though I have 'known for years' since my son was diagnosed five years ago.

My formal dx has come as a shock to my system, for some reason the finality of it all, the 'aha moments' that say 'this is why you had these problems, this is why these people behave badly to you, this is why you perceive things differently' have been very painful for me. I am finding it hard to communicate, and I am also finding that people tend to respond to my opinions violently to the point that I am verbally abused and left confused and wanting to fold in on myself. Folding in on myself is unhealthy for me and I need some assistance from others, so I am posting here in the hopes that this will be the refuge that helps me learn how to cope with other people.

I'm going to link to this thread in my signature, because I would like to disclaim that I am not someone who intends to be mean, hurtful, snide, condescending, or rude to other people. I do not believe I am better than other people. These are some of the things people say about me. If you feel that I have behaved poorly or posted something that is upsetting to you, please contact me directly and talk to me about it. I seem to have problems getting my ideas across. I can't learn where I am going wrong when people react to me violently, and I would like to be able to identify that so I can make sure 'how I come across' isn't hurting anybody, and I can clarify my position.

Thanks for reading!

Hey ominous, welcome back.

Thanks (Still haven't figured out where I can create a signature. I'm sure I knew that at some point.)

Welcome back to Wrong Planet!

Thanks.

I'm sorry to read you have the same problems, mistersprinkles, but glad I'm not the only person. It doesn't seem to be with just NTs that I have this problem, either, often other autistics react violently and abusive to me out the gate and I just don't understand it at all.

I don't seem to have problems putting words together for research papers or essays for university. I am just coming to realise I have actually got pervasive communication problems. At 46 years of age. I used to just be able to wave that off as 'some people are just jerks' or some other haughty response where I would shut myself off from people, but I'm trying to look at it and fix it and it's painful. I have no idea how to people and I have spent my whole life not knowing that I have no idea how to people.

It's really upsetting.

I have this problem











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Fifa coins

I am also back on after a year or so of trying (and failing) to lead a 'normal' life. I struggle with communication that is anything more than idle chit chat and people have said to me in the past "you think you are better than me" which I don't and I'm not quite sure what I said to give that impression...

i learned to be passable at small talk after age 50, so it's not too late. good on you for not giving up.

I can pull off 3-5 minutes of small talk then I freeze up. Better than I used to be with about 10 seconds hehe.

Hi all and thanks again. Thanks Felicity, I noticed that in another thread that others were having issues as well as the site is going through some changes.

I can do small talk, but I don't like it. Too much of it makes me edgy and I have to get away from it. Fortunately it's often 'small' and doesn't seem to last very long unless you're in groups of people, then it becomes quite tiring.

I don't get it either, and I don't particularly like it. It is what it is, though. Every once in a while I am pleasantly surprised by interactions in the world, too. I went to get my hair cut recently, which is something I dread because I have to deal with the chatter and the stress of having my hair messed with (and possibly cut off). I put it off as long as I could but then just walked into a salon in the shopping centre and asked if someone could trim my hair. The stylist was great! She was able to discuss topics of importance to our community, she wasn't vapid at all, and I came out of there surprised that I didn't have to 'bear' the hairstylist and actually enjoyed myself. It happens out there sometimes!