I feel very old.

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My name's Gareth, I was diagnosed with Asperger's last month.
I'm 43 years old, I'm a mature student and I'm married to a wonderful woman.
I feel cheated as to previous diagnosis, I've had every label under the sun.
I feel this is the right one but know very little about it.
Because of my age, I feel very isolated and a little scared.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome! Don't worry, there are many people here around your age or older.

Welcome to Wrong Planet, Gareth, and congratulations on your new diagnosis!

I was diagnosed at least five times with depression from age 15 to 20 years. I never believed that any of the diagnoses were accurate, but it was the best description of my characteristics available at the time, I guess. I suspect misdiagnoses happened a lot with autistic people in the 1970s and 1980s.

There is a good list of characteristics written by Tony Attwood, Ph.D., online ( http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/index.php/about-aspergers ). Another is a list of exemplars ( https://depts.washington.edu/dbpeds/Scr ... eb2013.pdf ). I found that they are good description of the most common autism characteristics.

Welcome.

Late diagnosis gave me a slew of feelings as well.

You have free health care in Wales, right? I was not diagnosed until my late 20's because I had no health insurance until then. In the end, I even had to do my own research and suggest to my therapist that I may be autistic, so I understand the feeling of being cheated and misdiagnosed . I hope you get the support you are looking for here. I will be 35 next month, but age is just a number to me. If you feel the need to talk to more "mature" people, you can find them here viewforum.php?f=32 at the In-Depth Adult Life Discussion section. I have not been there myself, but the description says "It's recommended that you are age 30 and up and have the experience of living independently or in long-term partnerships. Adults younger than 30 can participate but we ask that you respect the maturity level of this forum."

Thank You all and thank you for the links.

Hi! I couldn't help but notice your name. My birth name was Gwnfyddyr Illynna but it made my mom mad and she couldn't say so it was changed first time when I was 1yr and I changed it again just before going to military.
Okay randomness done, : )

I am 50 but had a childhood diagnosis so though problems were not fewer, the understanding was there with my parents.

Hi, my given name is Gareth which is derived from the Welsh name Gwaredydd or Gwared which means "Gentle".
My name is very common where I live so I sometimes use the old version.

Hey Gareth welcome.

Welcome Gareth.

I like Welsh names. I think they are awesome.

32 when I was diagnosed!

Consider how far you've come in lieu of a diagnosis. That's some serious grit!

Thank you Mitchel, someone did mention it before but did not follow it through or have the guts to challenge the status quo. This is a new start for me, late, granted but I feel inspired and already supported. I'm meeting a professional with regards to my diagnosis next week. I am nervous but also a little excited.

I was past 40 when I got diagnosed. Yeah I went through a considerable period of "WTF!" thereafter, felt cheated, lost. Lots of pondering and brooding followed, lots of trying to sort it out well enough to keep going and find meaning. And as life goes on it certainly wasn't all peaches 'n cream in my life, lots of unrelated new troubles came along too. And significant blue periods came thereafter too.

Focusing on the basics helps me; keeping it simple to get through a rough time. Focus tightly on family, friends, simple pleasures, achievements, kindness, connection...I meditate/remind myself on keeping my thoughts on the here and now versus the speculative. Still & Often.

I have been through plenty of rocky roads now and again. Honestly I'd be lying if I said I'm not used to them by now. Yeah I can mull over the past but usually "life's short and it ain't getting longer" works as a mantra and I'm back to reality on a good day.

In short, the ongoing adaptation to a new perspective on my life is hard but is mitigated by the rewards of personal growth. I would not want to go back and not know who I am.

Just realize that it doesn't change much for you, it just helps you rationalize things and forgive yourself a bit. You're still the same person and you're still capable of bettering yourself.

You may find some of the stories here very humbling.