Am I on the spectrum?

Post Reply New Topic

I introduced myself in another post, but didn't go into details on why I think I may have autism. I'll do that here, since I really don't know if I'm on the spectrum or not.

Reasons I think I might be autistic

• Childhood - As a child, I always felt different and I was treated as an outcast.
• Social situations - Relationships frustrate me a lot. I can't seem to connect with anyone on a deep level and I don't know why.
  Furthermore, I keep ruining my friendships. This is partly because I get paranoid and think my friends secretly hate me, which usually ends with me freaking out and driving them away. But I've also lost friends simply by saying the wrong thing or texting them enough to annoy them.
• ADHD - I was diagnosed with ADHD at 6. I hear autism and ADHD often got mixed up, especially in the 90's.
• I had a speech delay
• Expression - I have trouble expressing my emotions. Some have described me as being cold, even though I'm actually quite emotional.
• Misunderstandings - People misunderstand me all the time. When I try to explain myself, they think I'm trying to deceive them. I feel like I'm pretty good at describing things, so I don't know what I could do differently here.
• Writing and computers - I have an almost obsessive interest in writing and computers. When I really get into it I can spend all day writing, often forgetting to eat and neglecting my friends. It's similar with computers.

Reasons I'm not sure

• Blending in - As a kid, my communication skills were awful. However, I've adjusted so well in my adult life that I have my doubts. I've learned how to read body language well enough to know when to leave someone alone and I can maintain eye contact if I put a little effort in. I even seem to be popular to an extent, even if I can't form a deeper connection.
• Learning - I've always been terrible at math, which I hear a lot of those on the spectrum are naturally good at. Furthermore, despite my speech delay I was actually very far ahead of my classmates in English. I was so far ahead, in fact, that I broke an AR record on accident and was "acknowledged" in front of the entire school. It was pretty embarrassing.
• I dislike routine - I've heard those with autism love schedules, but it literally drives me insane if every day is the same. Schedules can help me get stuff done, so they're a necessary evil for me, but I do need a little bit of unpredictability to enjoy life.

Other, possibly related things

• Jumbled thoughts - Sometimes words will get mixed up in my head. My coworkers also seem to think I'm ditsy, though they prefer the term stupid.
• Mood swings - Sometimes I'll become sad or anxious for seemingly no reason at all.
• Fascination with objects - This is something I hadn't realized might be odd until recently, so maybe it's not the same as what I've seen described as an autism symptom. However, I love to collect computer hardware, rocks, and coins. I also have a broken antique spoon that I've kept since I was a child.

If you got this far, thanks for reading. I'm sure there's a lot of stuff I've forgotten, so I might edit those into my post later.

It sounds like you have a lot of traits. I don't know whether you would qualify for an actual diagnosis, but it's worth getting it checked out. The math and routine things don't disqualify you. Lots of people with autism are bad at math, and you don't have to have every symptom. Do you feel like your traits have a significant negative impact on your life?

^I'm terrible at Math, yet I love Arithmacy and Numerology!

I find that some do, some don't. I actually consider some of the traits an advantage.

However, I've definitely had some problems. I was unable to get a job until I was 22 and now, at 24, I'm still living with my mom. I've been trying to get my driver's license, which almost everyone has by now.

I'm not sure how much of that is because of autism(if I have it), but my trouble with relationships seems to extend to all areas of my life. It's a problem at work, both when it comes to getting promoted and getting hired. And I get depressed sometimes because I'm lonely.

The main reason I want to know, though, is because I've always wondered why I feel like I'm different.

Having problems with getting a job and being independent is common with autism. I think it's definitely worth seeking a diagnosis. Why did you put a mad face?

I didn't even notice I had. I typed this on my phone. lol

I'll have to see if I can see a specialist sometime. No one knows I think I might be autistic, though.

Edit: Weird, now it did another one.