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Idemash
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Joined: 21 Mar 2016
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21 Mar 2016, 9:07 am

Hi, I've just joined. I'm 30. Female. I may have Aspergers or I may not. Some people who know me well think I do have it, others don't seem to notice.

I go through phases of convincing myself I do have it and it normally makes me anxious and makes my behaviour worse. I'm not in one of those phases at the moment. I'm only considering it today because last night I was out and very drunk with a group of people I don't know very well and I'm also quitting smoking and I noticed that I still wanted to go outside on my own every half an hour or so, even though I didn't feel like I needed a cigarette. So I found there is a reason why I smoke in social situations and that's because it gives me an acceptable reason to wander away when ever I want and come back in when ever I want. So that's a new thing I learned about myself yesterday. I find it interesting when I find out new things like that.

So now I'm here and I'm going to read some things on the forum and ponder over other peoples experiences.



Earthbound
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21 Mar 2016, 9:16 am

Hi! Welcome to the site!



TheAP
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Joined: 28 Dec 2014
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21 Mar 2016, 9:37 am

Welcome to WP! What are your interests?



Idemash
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Joined: 21 Mar 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 10
Location: UK

21 Mar 2016, 10:00 am

Erm... I like science. I like politics but I try not to get too drawn into it because it just makes me depressed how terrible things are when you really start to understand the way the world operates. I've got we left wing political views, verging on anarchism. I also like travelling and visiting people. When I was younger I was very random and was always all over the place going to other cities to visit friends. I've calmed down a bit with that now. I'd like to do more international travelling. I'm trying to save up for that.

How about you?



TheAP
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21 Mar 2016, 10:10 am

I'm interested in human nature and in different mental conditions such as autism. I also like books and writing.



RoadRatt
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21 Mar 2016, 4:21 pm

Hey Idemash welcome. :sunny:


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QuillAlba
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21 Mar 2016, 4:34 pm

Welcome to WP.

My CPN told me I should keep smoking roll-ups due to their bonus effects, it's a few minutes to collect my thoughts while I have a smoke, a break from the noisy crowds, or a break from 2 people I hardly notice the difference. Roll-ups are best because you get the time to roll them and then smoke them, an extra few minutes away.



Idemash
Butterfly
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Joined: 21 Mar 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 10
Location: UK

25 Mar 2016, 1:52 pm

QuillAlba wrote:
Welcome to WP.

My CPN told me I should keep smoking roll-ups due to their bonus effects, it's a few minutes to collect my thoughts while I have a smoke, a break from the noisy crowds, or a break from 2 people I hardly notice the difference. Roll-ups are best because you get the time to roll them and then smoke them, an extra few minutes away.


Yeah turns out that's what I use them for! Since I've been trying to quit I've been rationalizing it by saying smoking is a left over habbit from my troubled younger days. My mental health used to be quite unbalanced but I'm totally fine now so I no longer have any need for smoking, so I should quit as it poses no benefit to me, or so I thought!



AnonymousAnonymous
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25 Mar 2016, 2:55 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet! :)


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Cryo
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Joined: 24 Mar 2016
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25 Mar 2016, 10:47 pm

I'm in a similar situation. 30, not sure if I have it or not, alternate between thinking I do and don't. Leaning more strongly than ever towards probably I do at the moment, but wary of self-diagnosis because I'm not an expert and because having a neurological condition, by providing an excuse for being like I am and a community like WP to call home, is a more attractive prospect that just being a socially inept weirdo who doesn't belong anywhere.

I had a realisation recently which was that my perception and evaluation of myself has been mostly inaccurate or poorly grounded. Example: I almost never talk, so when I have a conversation I compare that against me not talking at all and decide I'm probably not autistic. But (my realisation) I should be comparing myself against normal people, and compared to normal in conversations I'm a textbook case of autism (bad eye contact, reciprocation, gestures, vocal/facial expression).

Signed up to compare my perspectives with others' to hopefully improve my self-evaluation.

Quote:
I was out and very drunk with a group of people I don't know very well and I'm also quitting smoking and I noticed that I still wanted to go outside on my own every half an hour or so, even though I didn't feel like I needed a cigarette. So I found there is a reason why I smoke in social situations and that's because it gives me an acceptable reason to wander away when ever I want


I'm not convinced of an autistic angle here. Perhaps drunkenly indifferent to the company of unengaging strangers, and introverted with the perfect excuse to go get some time alone and away. Autistics more likely would just wander, not knowing or caring about having a socially acceptable reason.



Idemash
Butterfly
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Joined: 21 Mar 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 10
Location: UK

26 Mar 2016, 11:47 am

Cryo wrote:
I'm in a similar situation. 30, not sure if I have it or not, alternate between thinking I do and don't. Leaning more strongly than ever towards probably I do at the moment, but wary of self-diagnosis because I'm not an expert and because having a neurological condition, by providing an excuse for being like I am and a community like WP to call home, is a more attractive prospect that just being a socially inept weirdo who doesn't belong anywhere.

I had a realisation recently which was that my perception and evaluation of myself has been mostly inaccurate or poorly grounded. Example: I almost never talk, so when I have a conversation I compare that against me not talking at all and decide I'm probably not autistic. But (my realisation) I should be comparing myself against normal people, and compared to normal in conversations I'm a textbook case of autism (bad eye contact, reciprocation, gestures, vocal/facial expression).

Signed up to compare my perspectives with others' to hopefully improve my self-evaluation.

Quote:
I was out and very drunk with a group of people I don't know very well and I'm also quitting smoking and I noticed that I still wanted to go outside on my own every half an hour or so, even though I didn't feel like I needed a cigarette. So I found there is a reason why I smoke in social situations and that's because it gives me an acceptable reason to wander away when ever I want


I'm not convinced of an autistic angle here. Perhaps drunkenly indifferent to the company of unengaging strangers, and introverted with the perfect excuse to go get some time alone and away. Autistics more likely would just wander, not knowing or caring about having a socially acceptable reason.


I do often just wander away. The socially acceptable part was part of my analysis afterwards. Fact is I still wanted to wander away and it wasn't related to wanting to smoke. If it does link into autism the link is probably fairly loose, but it was very interesting to me to find out. No one else around me seemed to want to disappear and come back all the time. Usually people just stay together all night.