Newly Diagnosed "High Functioning" Female

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Hello all!

I'm very new here and figured I'd finally start utilizing this awesome resource. My entire life I've felt different from most people... I didn't consider it a "problem" or even realize my mindset was unique until my mid 20's on a Team of Coworkers. Suddenly I found myself looking back at my life and wondering constantly why I couldn't make and keep friends, why eye contact made me feel weird but others seemed fine, why did people "seem" to like me but didn't want to build a friendship with me? Depression set in again and I started to "look" for answers.

I started with a google search for Personality and Career typing, along with researching high IQ and gifted traits. After finding MBTI/ Myers Briggs I was typed as INFJ and things started to make a lot more sense. I joined groups with people of my personality type and groups of Gifted Adults. Online I started to find Gifted adults thought similarly to how I do... There was one person who started to speak with me at this time. It took me over 2 weeks of typed conversation to realize that this person I was speaking with is the first person I've ever spoken with that FEELS and THINKS like I do.

He mentioned he had Aspergers within the first month of speaking. I didn't know what Aspergers even was. I told him there's nothing wrong with him and that it sounds like an "over diagnosis" of an individual with high IQ. Months went by and he would casually mention Aspergers here and there. Looking back I'm still shocked he didn't educate me about it... instead he waited for me to realize what he already had ...

Six months of talking every day, all day. Like a smack in the face I realized why he mentioned Aspergers at what seemed like such RANDOM times >< I went to google and felt embarrassed as I tried to type in what I needed. "Asperger's Test" "What is Aspergers?". I took 3 tests alone without telling anyone, all of them came back with a result that I should seek a diagnosis. I cried for a bit because I realized after researching Female Aspergers that it explained what myers briggs typing couldn't explain about me.

I realized I was on the Spectrum but felt upset that I couldn't immediately grasp everything that it means and will mean. Then I texted my Now online Boyfriend to see if he could help me feel better. I was scared he would reject me, afraid he would be offended I thought I have Aspergers too. He did not of course I told him of my tests and scores, then sent him a RAADS-R test
He took the RAADS-R without hesitation after seeing my results. His results made me feel even better *.*! All of his scores were almost the exact same as mine.
Total 168/173
Language 16/17
Social 71/70
Sensory 53/50
Interests 28/36

Maybe this is part of why we are so similar, also his type is ENFJ. This is how I was initially diagnosed. I didn't feel the need to get a diagnosis immediately, I wasn't even sure I needed one.... Then I mentioned Aspeger's to a co-worker because I started to become incredibly interested in Autism and then I felt horrified how little most people know about it. I naively thought others would share my curiosities :') Also... there was one guy in my company who was DEFINITELY on the Spectrum along with a female that connected with me a little too much to be "normal".
(People already didn't "like" me because I was the "highest performer", for all sorts of petty reasons, I wasn't my peers favorite. I like to say I divide rooms of people into Hate and Love. Two sides. Only Love can connect with me ) Unknowingly I gave my "social enemies" the ammo they had been waiting for


Finally they could call me "slow" and then mention Aspergers and tell people they don't like me because "She has Aspergers" :') Couldn't even lie and make something up that sounded better. They couldn't even understand what it is... which first would require them to care. ><
I had the highest sales and most experience but was consistently sabotaged and demeaned. I gave notice and left the hostile environment. This experience drove me to seek a Professional Diagnosis which thankfully was much smoother than many other Aspie Womens Diagnosis experiences

With Diagnosis I found myself in kind of a weird place on the spectrum... My Empathy is high at 29.
I wanted to share my realization story in case others could relate

I can't believe I didn't know what Aspergers was a year ago. Thankful to find the missing piece that helps me understand myself and others better

Awesome story, I'm glad you have started figuring yourself out. Welcome to the forum and good luck with your relationship!

Hi, I'm glad you were able to get out of the hostile work environment and that you are well underway in discovering yourself. Glad you joined us. There's lots to read here that I think you will find helpful and there's lots of good people to hang out with here.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Hey Colorou welcome.

Yeah I didn't know what Asperger was either until this past Christmas when i found out about it. I actually first heard about it probably a couple of months back from a show but never bothered to look it up cause it sounded weird and I didn't really see any reason to look it up cause it didn't have anything to do with me. Turned out I was wrong lol

Hello. I also had someone mention about my "aspergers" and I replied "what is that?" Well, that that started some google research and what a surprise....the unknown, unknowns. Keep strong and don't talk to much LOL

Ah hahaha your words are a paradox

I think it's hard for me not to talk about it at times because I'm excited by the idea of finding "unknowns"!
Recently I noticed that it looks like NT's get offended when they realize I'm not like them. It's as if they think I am excluding THEM when I identify other Aspies.... Unfortunately they excluded me way before then. I simply move on quicker than they do.

NEXT! mwah hahaha
I love to analyze other people ^_^

What a wonderful accounting of what it is like to come to the realization as an adult and a woman that you are an Autistic & the ramifications it can have in certain work environments. Very nice. But there is a crucial piece missing from your retelling...

....what happened with THE GUY? The one that was talking with you every day and understood you and waited patiently for you to put 2+2 together? The one whose personality meshes so well with yours???

We have spoken every day, for just past one year, this Month ^___^

We're planning our lives together . We both live in different Countries, he will visit in this Summer for a few Months. He has started to plan to bring me to his Country this Fall, because we both don't really want to be apart once we are finally together. I'm going to make him my King mwah haha

Until now I'd never come across someone so similar. We Love and Suffer in the same way. He understands that I can be lots of complicated things all at once. It feels amazing to have someone who understands and when they don't fully understand they try even harder to understand. I think we even melted down together one day.

That's awesome. I wish you guys the best of luck. Where is he from if you don't mind me asking?

Welcome! Glad you were able to find out who you are.

He's from France ^_^