Searching for fellow aliens...

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Hello. Intro post here, I guess.

I have undiagnosed and undealt with autistic characteristics. I haven't dealt with them because 8 years ago, several friends, in no uncertain terms, told me that it was ludicrous to suggest that I might be autistic. So I listened to them and avoided even contemplating the possibilities or talking to my therapist about my issues. However, I still communicate like an autistic person, being very literal with almost complete blindness to subtext, cultural cues, tone, etc. I still have some... sensory processing issues that I understand are not uncommon amongst autistic folks, like CAPD, prosopagnosia, hyperacousis, etc. My girlfriend, who is a registered nurse that specializes in autism, has thought I was autistic for years, but never mentioned it because she thought I was scared of the label.

Just last week I started making friends with a diagnosed HFA person, and was surprised to find us having so much in common. She actually beat me to the punch several times asking folks to be more considerate of our mutual inability to comprehend subtext. And when I started to mention my audio processing issues to her, she cut me off and said, "I know. I have the same thing."

It was really nourishing and validating to be in the company of a fellow alien. Someone that knows my language. Understands how I speak. Understands my conversational and social and environmental needs as well as I do. Someone that makes me feel less like a confusing alien monster, and more like an actual human being.

I want more of that.

I've decided to finally start talking to my therapist about my semantic/pragmatic communication difficulties, and the amalgamation of odd sensory issues I seem to have. I haven't seen her in years, and have never really talked about these things. I don't know that I'm looking for any kind of formal diagnosis or anything. Just looking to... finally start talking to someone about the stuff I deal with.

I've also decided to really start searching for more community and talking to more autistic people. I've always felt my best when I've been talking to other HFA/asperger's types. Just never really *about* my issues with them. Just interacting with them felt good. Safe. Comprehensible in a way that talking to NTs has never felt. So I'm going to explicitly try to talk to more folks. Like here! And Facebook!

-Paradox

Hi and welcome to WP!
I can relate to a lot of what you wrote there. I highly suspect I'm on the spectrum, I've been reading about AS for a while now, and it has answered a lot of my questions, both about myself and the way I interact with others.
I haven't been diagnosed yet either, will start the process soon but for now I'm enjoying my time here on WP.
I too thought I was alone and noone understood my language but that turned out to be very wrong. It feels very comforting to speak with some 'fellow aliens'. So if you ever want to chat, feel free to PM!
Have you talked about it with your girlfriend then? What are your interests?

My girlfriend and I have talked for years about my various autistic *traits,* but she never discussed the possibility that I was autistic until now. She always thought I didn't want to talk about the possibility, when in reality I was just scared of it.

She says I seem a LOT like the LFA kids she worked with during her nurse training, though I'm obviously very high functioning.

Re: My interests: I tend to be a serial obsessionist. I obsess over one thing for a few years, then go onto something else when that first thing becomes inconvenient for any reason. I am currently obsessing over VR.

I'd love to chat some time.

welcome to our club PP

Hi!

Hey Paradox welcome.

Hi, welcome! What does your username mean? I love paradoxes.

It's a name I adopted for burning man a few years back.

The idea is that I'm a metaphorical puree of paradoxes. Not a lot made sense in my life, and there seemed to be frequent contradictions. So... Paradox Puree!

I'm an alien full of paradoxes! Welcome! I'm also the smiley sunshine kitty girl around here.

Yay!! !!

^What sort of things do you like?
I am extremely passionate about: Star Trek, Doctor Who, Digimon, Clannad, Pokemon, Fire Emblem, Final Fantasy VII, Studio Ghibli, fantasy books, mythology, spirituality, pondering things beyond what most people believe or consider possible, daydreaming, listening to my favourite music online...

I'm obsessed with board games and making board games more accessible and enjoyable to my friends through high levels of organization and component improvement. I also love D&D and enjoy creating worlds for players to explore in, though I am terrible at being a player. Too much down time. I am a private pilot and love aviation and everything to do with flying things. I love astronomy and have a kick ass telescope. I love VR and have a VR rig to play a bunch of VR games. I love planning events and parties, so long as I don't have to do too much interpersonal socializing during them. I love to create experiences for other people and watch them enjoy it. I'm obsessed with video games. For a while, I was learning about ASL and Deaf culture, but fell out of that when I contracted Alopecia Universalis and got anxious about my appearance and stopped attending Deaf Coffee. I also love software and am a software engineer in the Silicon Valley. I love heady science fiction stories that rip my mind apart like Greg Egan's stuff. I love fantasy stories full of magic and adventure and ethics. I love meta-stories, stories within stories within stories, like Adaptation or A House of Leaves, which is my favorite book of all time and I give away a copy of it to every person I meet.


It's a hard question to answer, because I have serial obsessions that sort of fill up my entire life, and then get discarded when they become inconvenient to maintain obsession over. Like, I haven't pulled my telescope out in years, and haven't flown an airplane in nearly a year. But I still adore those things. I just haven't had the space in my head for it.

Fascinating! My obsessions always go in cycles, switching from one to the next depending on my mood or whatever. I've also written a 180 paged fantasy novel.

Yeah. I cycle through my existing set a lot, and every now and then shift out to a new one to add to the cycle.

GO YOU! That's awesome!

Cool! I feel that I contradict myself a lot too. Hence the signature.

Hi! I´m new here too...I'm 37 how old are you?. It´s funny. I cycle on my obsessions too. From dogs, to some musical instrument in particular ( I play many), to maths and physic, to another lenguage, reading...I learned so many things in this way! they may last some months to years, then, I get bored and move onto something else. I kept some things for years without using them, but I really need to have them, just in case I need to use them. I realized about it when I had to move... I had more hobby stuff, than clothes!
I am also into the process of looking for a diagnosis.
I am so much surprised that people of the forum and I have so much in common. It´s like speaking a same lenguage