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Father of Aspie

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Venus54
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04 Sep 2016, 6:09 pm

Hi everyone. I am making an attempt to understand my son who is 32. How we have gotten this far has been a challenge and then this site was suggested. My son really really desires that I get to know him as he is and not as the person that I perceive him to be. Our expectations of him are different, which I think might be in part to a generational thing. Any help to get inside his head, so to speak, would be appreciated.



RoadRatt
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05 Sep 2016, 3:21 pm

Hey Venus54 welcome. :sunny:


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AnonymousAnonymous
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06 Sep 2016, 4:51 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet!


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OhkaBaka
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08 Sep 2016, 5:19 pm

Venus54 wrote:
Hi everyone. I am making an attempt to understand my son who is 32. How we have gotten this far has been a challenge and then this site was suggested. My son really really desires that I get to know him as he is and not as the person that I perceive him to be. Our expectations of him are different, which I think might be in part to a generational thing. Any help to get inside his head, so to speak, would be appreciated.


I am 42, with near-disabling ADD and a delightful spoonful of ASD. I love my ASD, whatever challenges it presents are worth

My son, who is 9, is (so far)(thanks to whatever deity or cosmic algorithm was responsible) ADD free, though his ASD is probably more pronounced than mine.

I absolutely respect, I would think we all do, your making this effort. Welcome to WrongPlanet.

My biggest single piece of advise is "accept first, understand later" ... The person your son is not dependent on your understanding of him, "getting inside his head" might just appear to be chaos to you, and that is OK. Don't worry if you don't get it.

Eventually when you trust those words or behaviours, even if you don't "get" them, you can predict them. You KNOW this, of course, because you're a parent. Its like when they always laugh until they cry at the joke that no one else in the house thinks is funny. You aren't going to get it, but it doesn't make it less real.



Venus54
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Joined: 4 Sep 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 2

19 Sep 2016, 11:48 pm

Well I just had another round with my son. I have tried accepting him as he is. To a small degree I do understand him, but he wants me to fully understand him. I do not think that I am capable of that.I am just totally frustrated. It is as if he is asking for more than I am capable of.