25 Mar 2017, 7:05 pm
Hello, I'm a newbie here too : )
I had the realization 2 years ago that I might be on the spectrum. Well I always suspected something was 'wrong' with me, but could never pinpoint what. I had read about autism but I always thought I can't be autistic, because I'm an adult and had coped fine for most of my life. It wasn't until I read about the traits in women that it finally all started to make sense. That actually I could be on the high functioning end of the spectrum.. that I had been just 'coping' and covering up all my life... that back when I was in school, kids didn't get diagnosed with aspergers.
I cried at first, even though I was still in denial.... it's not so simple to get a diagnosis where I am and I am too scared to bring it up with my family or friends. The only person I've talked about it to is my partner, who has an autistic relative and actually it's helped our relationship, since it explained some of my behavior. I spent a long time just researching about autism,doing online tests, trying to figure out if I really do have this, or it is just in my head... and I can say I definitely sway more towards autistic then NT.
Taking steps to understand myself, and using all the wonderful resources available (including this forum where I've already been lurking) have helped me learn ways to cope and pull me out of depression and anxieties I always seemed to be plagued with, that I realize now were related in a lot of ways..
Anyway, I didn't mean for this to be so long and rambling 
. But it feels good just to write this down and share it in a place where people get it
25 Mar 2017, 9:28 pm
I cried at first, even though I was still in denial.... it's not so simple to get a diagnosis where I am and I am too scared to bring it up with my family or friends.
This describes me perfectly. I also fear that I won't qualify for an autism diagnosis under the DSM-5, since they no longer recognize Asperger's.
One thing that really helped me to cope was something that I read that said you're the same person you've always been, you just now have a word to describe your behaviors and feelings.
Welcome to the forum.
26 Mar 2017, 2:53 pm
Welcome to the forum.
That's so true, and a good thing to remember. In the last year I've become much more self-aware and just having a word to describe my feelings and behaviors has already helped me to better understand and cope with things.
Thank you for the welcome
26 Mar 2017, 4:38 pm
Dear Julu,
Welcome... from a fellow newbie!
First, congratulations on your strength and courage. It's not easy doing this especially since most of us are highly guarded and we already feel vulnerable and largely marginalized. However, coming to terms with who we really are and why we tick the way we do is essential for self-improvement. Since I realized that I exhibit a high affinity for having a spectrum disorder, I feel somewhat liberated. Moreover, I am now motivated to become stronger for my family, and also help others that face these same challenges.
Thanks for sharing your experience and may God bless you and your family.
AnonymousAnonymous
Veteran
Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 72,114
Location: Portland, Oregon
27 Mar 2017, 3:38 pm
Welcome to Wrong Planet! 
27 Mar 2017, 3:56 pm
Thank you!
That's wonderful to hear! I understand that feeling of liberation now. Coming to terms with it has definately helped my own self-improvement. Bless you for thinking of your family and others in your own journey! And thank you for the kind words : )
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