Hi, everyone. Starting to come to terms with my diagnosis.

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My situation might be a bit odd. When I was teenager, I was diagnosed with pervasive developmental disorder- not otherwise specified. For a long time, I completely dismissed it. At the time, I was sick of being told that there was something wrong with me, and I refused to accept that I had a disorder. I was content to think of myself as just an odd person. The process of being diagnosed is also connected to bad memories I have tried to avoid. Nothing ever came of my diagnosis long-term, so it was easy to forget. I didn't get any accommodations at school or anything like that.

As an adult, I have recently been wondering if maybe the doctors were on to something. I'm socially awkward, easily overwhelmed by over-stimulation, face blind, nerdy, etc. I've long struggled with feeling alienated and connecting with other people. Both of my brothers are autistic and very visibly so. I don't think it's readily apparent that I have any kind of disorder, but I might be biased. Complicating things, PDD-NOS doesn't exist in the DSM-V. People that would previously be diagnosed PDD-NOS are instead grouped in with autism spectrum disorder or social communication disorder. It's very vague, and I'm not sure what exactly it means for me or in what ways I differ from most people.

It's hard for me to reconcile this with my self-image, and I don't feel comfortable talking to my friends about it. Some of them are autistic, but still. I don't want people to think differently of me.

Has anyone else had a hard time accepting their diagnosis?

And on another note, hello! I'm joining so that I can talk to other people and better understand some things. Looking forward to interacting with the community.

Hello
I know nothing about PDD-NOS, I'm Asperger's, but only recently diagnosed. Take as much time as you need to adjust, it's a lot to take in, even when (like for me) it's expected.
I also pass as not obviously autistic but that can lead people to think you should behave in the normal way, 'since you can do it' even though it's not natural for you and therefor exhausting.
Not officially autistic? doesn't matter, they seem to change the definition every week anyway.
Welcome to Wrong Planet.

I can relate to the social issues you mentioned (sounds exactly how I feel around others for the most part). To me I think theres a bit of comfort in knowing you're on the spectrum and realizing that you're among others and you're not the only one. Kinda like "Yeah it's been tough, but many others understand how this feels and I'm not alone sorta"

Best of luck to you

Fluffysaurus:
PDD-NOS seems to have been a catchall "You don't quite fit the usual criteria of autism or Asperger's, but you have enough of the traits that we know you're not neurotypical." So you might have a more mild presentation of autism, or you might have traits that are severe in one area, but not enough of the traits in other required areas to be diagnosed as autistic. I think that vagueness is why they took it out of the DSM. It also seems to have been more commonly diagnosed in girls, who I've heard often present autistic traits a bit differently.

I'm lucky enough to have understanding (and mostly introverted) friends. My coworkers seem to think I'm a little weird, but hey, I get the work done! I used to have a lot of trouble even checking out groceries, but I've gotten my "small talk with cashiers" script down well enough. Still, people do seem to miss the effort I put into things like that. It's intentional on my part, so I shouldn't complain too much. I don't like it when people worry over me or treat me differently. I can definitely relate to acting unnaturally to appear normal, though.

Thank you for welcoming me here!

Almost:
It does feel relieving to finally begin to accept that I'm not just a lone freak who struggles with things that should be simple for no reason. I don't mind being different, but it can get lonely. It's comforting that someone can relate.

Thank you! Best of luck to you too.

I know exactly how you feel with social issues. I myself am considered a weirdo (good or bad matters little) by most people I know. Only one of my friends (who is older) is Autistic like me, all the other friends of mine don't truly understand how robotic we feel in every day normal situations. They may understand our having no self-confidence. But they don't understand that we kind of stay in a permanent shy mode (or at least I am most of the time).

You're not a lone freak. I also feel the same way though, I just feel weird on principle. I'm barely on the line of Autism, but I have it too.

It's a stereotype, but nerd culture really does have a higher rate of autism. So being involved with anime conventions and clubs, I've met people on the spectrum besides my brothers. Some I could tell right away, and some I had no idea until they told me. I think this has helped me get a more varied idea on what autistic people can be like. It has also helped being around other "weirdos", because they're more likely to be understanding of differences.

On the other hand, I've had people that assume I'm shy and that I would be able to enjoy loud, crowded parties if I could just get past that. I can be shy, but even if I know everyone there, big parties can be too overwhelming for me to deal with for long. I've also explained to one extroverted friend that it can be hard for me to talk to people I don't know, not due to a lack of self-confidence necessarily, but because I can feel like I am learning a new "language" every time I meet someone new or deal with a new social situation. (Hope that makes sense.) I'm not sure she understood.

I've felt like a weirdo for as long as I can remember, haha, so it's nice I'm not the only one. Thank you.

Hello there. As I'm 42 now I was only recently diagnosed with severe high-functioning Asperger's Syndrome only four months ago now. I have to admit I'm still coming to terms with all of this and my anxiety has gone up considerably but it confirmed what I've always suspected for many years now. My current anxiety status is listed as "inconceivable" by my therapist.

As I look back on it now my father definitely was an Aspie as well as my younger brother but he is undiagnosed and my father has passed. As a family we always tried desperately to appear normal and we denied any ailment of any kind especially the mental ones. To our own detriment it seems.

So that culture of denial and disassociation followed me through adulthood and that's one of the reasons why I procrastinated about even getting diagnosed and why it took so long for me to come to terms with being Autistic.

As my diagnosis is listed as "severe" the Autistic symptoms and behaviours are undeniable so there can be no doubt at this point. But I could have had such a better life had I've been diagnosed at an earlier age.

Accepting myself as being both gifted and disabled at the same time is quite a contradiction to grasp. But it is my reality and I'm still struggling with it and I have no doubt I will struggle with it for several years from now.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

On 31st of October of this year i was officially diagnosis with social pragmatic communication disorder, Intellectual disability, and ADHD. The psychologist said that she believes that i do have Autism but she didn't diagnosis me with ASD because she did not have enough development history. I will be getting a second opinion.

Welcome!

I was diagnosed at 7, and when I found out I was disappointed to hear that I wasn't "normal"--that there was something "wrong" with me. For a long time, I rejected the idea that Asperger's was the same thing as autism. I guess it was me being pedantic--refusing to accept anything but my given diagnosis. But now I have come to accept myself as an autistic person. I wish you luck in doing the same.

Sorry for the delayed response, everyone. I've been busy this week.

Hi! I'm sorry you have to deal with so much anxiety lately. It is possible for me to "pass" as a neurotypical (although a bit "odd") person, and I think that made it harder for me to accept. Along with the fact that I was in the "gifted" program as a kid. I can relate to struggling with that contradiction. I am not sure if my diagnosis had any real positive effect on my life at the time, as I did not receive long-term therapy or accommodations, and I refused to believe it. But I am glad that I was diagnosed, now that I am beginning to accept it. It makes it easier for me to understand myself. I hope that understanding helps me improve myself and helps me better accept certain things about myself. As of now, I am still struggling to incorporate it into my self-image. The word "autistic" still feels "other"- a group I do not belong to. Despite the fact that I also showed traits from a young age, now that I look back. I hope that we're both able to come to terms with our diagnoses over time.


Hi, and thank you for welcoming me here!


Hi! Interestingly, social pragmatic communication disorder is the other possible new diagnosis (besides autism) for someone previously diagnosed with pervasive developmental disorder- not otherwise specified! I believe the main difference is that SPCD only includes the social and language related aspects of autism, and not other traits like sensory issues or stimming. If your psychologist thinks you might have autism, I definitely think it's a good idea to get a second opinion. Good luck!


Hi! I've always known I wasn't "normal", but I did not want to believe that I had a "disorder". I value my independence and want to see myself as capable. I've come to understand that these things are not incompatible, but it's still a little hard to come to terms with. Making the jump from accepting myself as having PDD-NOS to also accepting myself as being autistic is somewhat difficult. Thank you.

I was diagnosed around age 7 (not sure of the actual age I was diagnosed) and have only just come to terms with my diagnosis this week, pretty much, after going through a stint of not accepting it. If you search hard enough on these forums, you'll find that it's a common occurrence, and a proportion of people on the spectrum probably go through a period of doubt at some time. Our condition is hardly described in the most complimentary of ways by some people...

Since around 7, huh. I wonder if I would have been more likely to accept it had I been that young. Fewer preconceived notions that way... but maybe not, if it's so common for people to doubt. Honestly, I figured most people were diagnosed when they were young and understood it from a young age. But maybe that's not true after all.

True. I hate how it's become a trend in some circles to use "autistic" as an insult. But beyond that, even people who want to be nice can come off as patronizing towards people that are autistic/disabled/etc. I don't want to be looked down on or pitied, even if it's not malicious.

I tend to think that I come off as a bit awkward and nerdy but otherwise neurotypical, but I'm starting to wonder if it's obvious to everyone but me that there's something else going on. Even if they're not sure what exactly the name for it would be. People usually think I'm weird, whether they like me or not.

It depends. I knew I had it, but I didn't start thinking about what the diagnosis actually meant or implied until I was a teenager. That's when I started to develop a negative view of it, and by extension, a negative view of myself.