Page 1 of 1 [ 7 posts ] 

Giggigoofer
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 22 Aug 2017
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 6
Location: New Zealand

28 Mar 2018, 3:56 pm

Hello humans. I am Neurotypical and working in the disability sector, so learning as much as I can about neurodiversity.

I am happy to answer any questions you may have about NT society and culture (although you meet one NT you meet one NT, I can't reliably speak for us all but I can give a general overview of social "norms").

I am also trying to educate myself in order to better support my Autistic friends, and my children's friends; and also educate my children in order to raise them to see neurodiversity as part of the glorious tapestry of life that it should be.



TheAP
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Dec 2014
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 20,314
Location: Canada

28 Mar 2018, 4:38 pm

Welcome to WP!

Hmm, questions...Are you good at making friends and fitting into a group? If so, how do you do it? Also, do you tend to hide your true self (pretending you're feeling happy when you're not, for example?)

Feel free to ask me any questions too.



Giggigoofer
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 22 Aug 2017
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 6
Location: New Zealand

28 Mar 2018, 4:49 pm

Quote:
Are you good at making friends and fitting into a group?
It really depends on the group and if they are welcoming or not (by that I mean they look at me if I join their group and move themselves to make a space for me, as well as verbally welcoming me by either saying hello or asking my name or some other small fact about myself that is relevant to the situation).
I am seen as a bit eccentric and weird by other NTs (which I am very happy with, I like being different), so I tend to gravitate towards people who are a bit different too.

Quote:
If so, how do you do it?
I tend to stand at the edge of a group and listen to what they are talking about, and add my opinions if I have one when there is a pause in the conversation. If they are not talking about something I am interested in, I listen for about 2 minutes then walk away to either another group or to sit down and watch the world go by.

Quote:
Also, do you tend to hide your true self (pretending you're feeling happy when you're not, for example?)
I used to do this much more as a teenager and in my 20s than I do now as an adult of 40 years (or Level 40 as I like to describe it). I did it partly because I was concerned about what people thought of me, and partly because I didn't want to bother other people with my problems.
After having had a lot of talk therapy for depression over the years, I am now a lot more comfortable with telling people "I'm not feeling great today, but I'll be OK" but I don't usually go into detail about why unless I am good friends with that person and feel comfortable opening up to them. Often NT people ask "what's wrong" to show that they feel some sort of sympathy and compassion for you, but they don't really want to know all the details.

I hope this helps!

My question for you:
What sort of things can I as an NT person do to make life easier for my Autistic friends?



TheAP
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Dec 2014
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 20,314
Location: Canada

28 Mar 2018, 5:38 pm

Giggigoofer wrote:
My question for you:
What sort of things can I as an NT person do to make life easier for my Autistic friends?

Just listen to them and understand their needs, like that they may not feel like hanging out sometimes or might have trouble keeping the conversation going. Be direct about how you feel or what you want, as well. And if they have a meltdown or something, understand that they're not doing it on purpose, they're just overwhelmed and need your patience and kindness.



Giggigoofer
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 22 Aug 2017
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 6
Location: New Zealand

28 Mar 2018, 5:40 pm

Quote:
Just listen to them and understand their needs, like that they may not feel like hanging out sometimes or might have trouble keeping the conversation going. Be direct about how you feel or what you want, as well. And if they have a meltdown or something, understand that they're not doing it on purpose, they're just overwhelmed and need your patience and kindness.
Post Posted: less than a minute ago


Awesome! I am definitely doing these things, and educating other NT people to do the same. It is nice to hear I am on the right track, thank you.



AnonymousAnonymous
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 72,114
Location: Portland, Oregon

01 Apr 2018, 3:59 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet! :D


_________________
Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat!


Glflegolas
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 20 Dec 2016
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 490
Location: NS, Canada

02 Apr 2018, 2:12 pm

Hello there, don't have anything witty to say today, so I'll just say welcome.


_________________
~Glflegolas, B.Sc.
The Colourblind Country Chemist & Tropical Tracker

Myers-Briggs personality: The Commander
Asperger's Quiz: 79/111, both neurodiverse and neurotypical traits present. AQ score: 23 Raads-r score: here