Hi there my names mick,i was diagnosed about 18 months ago with having childhood autism,this confused me as i thought i had aspergers.Anyway i was happy as it answerd a few things about my thinking.
Going to write a bit about myself.Grew up with lots of problems at school and outside being bullied and getting into lots of fights and trouble,this actaully led to me being well liked eventaully by most at school because i was a bit of loose cannon wdgaf and i was not a bully myself,i also had a twin brother which helped me get through school.Went to secondary and thats where i joined the gang culture which was booming in glasgow at the time,was always gettin suspednded etc and did not do my exams,i actaully went into my exams but could not concentrate,just stared at the paper the whole time,i hate tests i just get anxious.Right so i leave school at 16,by this time im involved heavily in the gang culture,i was a bit of a diehard,this possibly could have been my special interest as a teenager.I spent the years from 16-21 in and out of jails or i was always the guy getting attacked by knives & machetes,gettin seriously injured on numerous occasions & spendin time in hospital,i was not very street smart and had no sense of danger.I picked up drink & drug addiction during these years as a way to cope.I was not a bad apple,but i made lots of bad mistakes during these years.Met the love of my life at 16 then broke up at 20,due to my behavioir.I deserved to be dumped.Still misss that woman the day.Was a miracle that it lasted that long tbh.Anywhy i start to hang with a more chilled crowd in my 20s and start going to raves for years,so even though i stop getting the jail and put in hospita regularly,there was a few occasions in my20s where i was jailed or put in hospital,these were rare though.I was drinking and usin a lot more drugs during these years and i was riddled with mental health issues.At age 25 i decided to go travelling to india.As i was completely lost in life,i ended up spending 2 years travelling india,thailand,nepal,cambodia.Had a psychotic episode in nepal,which brought me back home.But picked up yoga n meditation from a beutiful english woman that i met.We were just friends and have not seen her since india.
Right so got home decided that i wanted to quit drink and drugs,which i did at age 28 by attending aa,na,ca meetings.Now 32 and still sober,4 years sober.I thought stopping would make all my problems go away.But was suffering from depression,anxiety,paranoia,ocd,low confidence,low self esteem,toxic shame,lacking social skills.My niece was diagnosed as having aspergers,my mother suggested that i might have it,as my niece has similer traits.So i was eventaully diagnosed as having childhood autism.Anyway theres a bit about me,will explain later most recent events and what brought me here in the first place.Peace people best of luck on this difficult road.Wil try help best i can,if anyones struggling.
29 Oct 2019, 4:26 pm
