Hi, I am a new member as of a few days ago, though I have been browsing the general discussion forum for a month or two before getting the nerve to register. I just wanted to introduce myself.
I am a 34 year old married female. I currently live in Northern California, but was born and raised in Maryland. I'm not sure if I am an Aspie, but I do feel that I have some Aspie-like traits. I have a Bachelor's degree in Biology and am currently working as a Quality Control Analyst for a biotech company. Basically, I work in a lab testing the reagents my company has manufactured before it goes out to customers. I'm not thrilled with my job and have taken a few classes on copyediting with the hopes of eventually working freelance from home. Unfortunately, other than taking the classes, I've done nothing else towards this change of career.
Anyway, I have managed to make it through school (getting good grades always came fairly easy for me), and managed to get a job (despite terrible interview skills), but I do not communicate very well with people. I never know what to say to people. I am also quite shy, so am actually afraid to initiate contact with new people. I'm not sure if some of my communtication problems are due to something like Asperger's or whether my extreme shyness has simply made me "forget" how to interact with people. When I know people I will talk at times, but I tend to babble. I will babble to my co-workers about my family, and to my husband about my co-workers. My husband gets sick of hearing about my co-workers and wants me to talk about "us" and my feelings. Unfortunately, I just don't seem to know how to talk about the things he wants to talk about.
I also seem to have a problem with gestures. I actually move my hands all the time when I talk, but (apparently, according to my husband) my gestures do not go with what I'm saying. I also, again according to my husband, can not seem to follow pointing when he tries to point towards something, and apparently when I try to point things out, my finger does not point correctly.
I am very clumsy, and am always tripping over my own feet, and hitting my head on things.
I also get obsessions on things, mostly on characters in TV shows or books/comic books, whom I constantly feel the need to make up stories about in my head. These tend to be the biggest obsessions, but I do also get obsessed with other things, like currently Asperger's Syndrome. I, however, don't usually talk about my obsessions because I don't want people to think I'm wierd. I sometimes talk to my husband about various obsessions, but he doesn't usually want to listen. My mother is probably the only one I will babble about my obsessions with as she doesn't seem to mind my tangents.
When I was in kindergarten, I apparently "failed" skipping and scissors (I was apparently uncoordinated early on). It was also halfway through the year that they even learned I could already read (could do it before kindergarten, not sure which age this started I need to ask my parents), because I was so quiet. Apparently at some point my uncle thought I was autistic, I'll have to ask my dad what the circumstances were.
I also seemed to have a bit of the rigid thinking as pertains to rules. I through a fit when I was a teenager and my stepdad bought my brother fireworks in West Virginia, which were illegal in our home state of Maryland. I also peed myself in 1st grade because the teacher had said not to interrupt her during reading group, so I never raised my hand to ask to go to the bathroom. Even when I was really little if my parents told me no about touching something, I would never do it again.
I don't have most of the sensitivities many Aspies seem to have though. I don't mind touches, in fact I love to be hugged and adore back rubs (though I would not feel comfortable hugging someone I didn't know well). I don't particularly mind any clothes, though I usually dress for comfort. The only things I can't stand is the feel of having wet armpits, and the feeling my hands get if they becomed waterlogged. I am not sensitive to light at all, and the only noises that bother me are loud noises such as fireworks, and popping balloons. The only food texture sensitivities I have are I don't like any really chewy meats/seafood (like steamed clams), or any thing with the texture like fat on meat.
I'm not sure whether I have stims. I do have a couple things that I only do when I'm alone. I like to make up stories in my head, and while I do it I tend to feel the need to run around (my stepdad has nicknamed my odd run my "galumph" even though I tried not to do it even in front of my family). I also sometimes, while doing this strange run, start to clap my hands, sometimes to the point that they sting. I'm thinking this is a stim, but I am in enough control of it that I don't do it too often. When I was in late middle school through high school, I would spend hours outside listening to music in headphones while doing this because we lived up on a hill somewhat isolated and I felt like people couldn't see me.
Anyway, I have probably rambled on too long, hopefully, this message is not too long and confusing. I meant it as just an introduction, but I kept having thoughts come into my head that I wanted to mention.
Oh, I forgot, I believe I feel empathy. I hurt for other people when bad things happen, etc. And I even feel like I can understand what others feel, but somehow I do not know how to express the empathy, and just stand there like a dork. My husband has commented to me that I don't have empathy because when he is complaining about things that upset him, I don't know the right words to say. Sometimes, I will even say something totally unrelated just because I am so uncomfortable.
I just wanted to conclude with saying that I have been reading many posts and I find everyone here interesting.
01 Sep 2005, 11:29 pm
