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Double Retired
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29 Sep 2020, 8:25 pm

IndigoDoll90 wrote:
I'm not so sure about looking up more on autism and ADHD. For some reason I feel so ashamed of having a disability despite being successful even with it. Maybe I'm just trying to talk myself out of being even more successful by telling myself that nothing I do matters.


"looking up more on autism and ADHD" is a personal choice. Personally, I found it interesting to learn about the enemy.

I am not a psychologist so I do not know whether "ashamed" is a personal choice, or not.

I encourage you to not think of autism as a disability, however. You are living proof it isn't; I have allistic relatives I wish were doing as well as you.

And personally, I tend not to think of successful vs not. My life is more like going up a hill. I want to continue going up, I don't know how far up I will go but I want to go up. Sometimes I detour around obstacles, sometimes I see a shortcut, but I just keep trying to go up. I'm 65; I've been trying to go up for a long time; I haven't reached the top but the view has been getting better!


_________________
When diagnosed I bought champagne!
I finally knew why people were strange.


Redd_Kross
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29 Sep 2020, 10:39 pm

IndigoDoll90 wrote:
Sometimes I still find myself wondering if all I have done even matters.


That's nothing to do with the Autism or ADHD. It's just normal existential angst.

You can answer your own question by first asking two more.

What did I do that improved the lives of others today?
What did I do that improved my own life today?

Small stuff still counts.

My neighbour's cat came round earlier. She is at ease in my home and that is nice. She enjoyed being stroked and purred loudly, so she was happy and I was happy. So irrespective of anything else that happened in the world, today was still a win for that one thing alone.



IndigoDoll90
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02 Oct 2020, 7:13 am

I never thought of it as just a normal part of being alive. Having autism and adhd doesn't help with my feeling that nothing I do matters. I feel so useless sometimes because of my disability even with all that I've accomplished such as going to college getting a job and moving out on my own. It's just there's always more I could do such as finally finish that comic I always wanted to make. But then again I always feel as though there is more I could be doing being a very goal oriented person. I always seem to be making goals and figuring out ways I can accomplish them. That's just part of who I am I guess.



Pepe
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02 Oct 2020, 7:47 am

IndigoDoll90 wrote:
I never thought of it as just a normal part of being alive. Having autism and adhd doesn't help with my feeling that nothing I do matters. I feel so useless sometimes because of my disability even with all that I've accomplished such as going to college getting a job and moving out on my own. It's just there's always more I could do such as finally finish that comic I always wanted to make. But then again I always feel as though there is more I could be doing being a very goal oriented person. I always seem to be making goals and figuring out ways I can accomplish them. That's just part of who I am I guess.



I'm an Omega Male.
I don't judge my worth by other people's expectations. 8)
Have you considered being an Omega Female? :scratch:

Quote:
There are all sorts of roles people take within a group. The omega personality is one that doesn’t need or want to be a part of a group at all.


Quote:
20 characteristics of a male omega personality

The male omega personality is someone who isn’t very social, has a tendency to be inappropriate, doesn’t care what people think, or wait… is clueless to what people think about them. They live their life as they choose and without needing the approval of anyone or really having any awareness of what the people around them think.


I don't adhere to everything in that article. ;)

Quote:
#1 You walk to your own drum.
#2 You are comfortable in your own skin.
#3 You don’t care what people think.
#4 You aren’t afraid of the alpha personality or conform to their standards.
#5 You are slightly “off.”
#7 You aren’t very motivated.
#8 You don’t want anyone to follow you unless they want.
#9 You’re kind of a loner.
#15 You aren’t into being “polite.”


https://www.lovepanky.com/men/essential ... ersonality