Please, bear with me if you can make it through this post.

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Jowiiv1985
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19 Oct 2020, 5:09 pm

Hi… Hello…

…my Name is Joey.

I’m 35 years old and diagnosed with ADHD.

I am very aware of the similarities and differences between both ADHD and ASD.

One of my daughters is also diagnosed with ADHD after an appointment with a neurologist while checking up on a nerve issue that was irrelevant. (Her, ADHD?! Shocker… -_-)

That appointment led my Wife to research everything she can to better understand our daughter, so we could help her succeed in a neuro-typical world.

That lead me to research a little bit more about myself that caused a snowball effect in learning about “treatment” and educating those around me. (by the way, they usually don’t ask, I just bring it up whenever they like to start small talk and I feel like I might have done something awkward… Which is all of the time. As I am not a professional other than my own “meandering experience”.

Our 3rd child, now 5 year old, was showing “odd” sensory behaviors around her 1st birthday… such as shaking her head repeatedly while glaring as if she were dizzy
when she was around changes in light after going outdoors or from flickering lights. We thought she was possibly having a seizure so we went to a specialist who had us catch it on video was able to determine it wasn’t. She still does it but it's in such rare cases. Which I have recently discovered this year was light sensitivity… She’s very sensitive to loud noises that some would consider “slightly loud”.
We had no idea of symptoms or anything for ASD around this time…

…and in all honesty, in my ignorant bliss, I never connected those things together. That is until, recently. I watched and listened to different perspectives from multiple people that are diagnosed with ASD and those that diagnose ASD. They explained it in a way I understood and then explained it in a way a neuro-typical could also. The Social interaction, The thoughts that are going through their minds around others, the change in routine and surroundings, etc… It wasn’t so much the description that had me curious, but their reaction, their exhaustion from trying to not seem weird to peers coworkers, and friends. It was the constant relative explanation from someone that I already related to. Myself.

I’m pretty sure you’ve all heard something somewhat similar to all of that from someone before…
I had been dreading writing this mess of an introduction because even on a forum I try to avoid social interaction because honestly, I don’t like leaving my comfort zone out of complete udder exhaustion.
That is the “T.V. Guide” version…
Sorry, if this is unorganized and covered in grammatical errors… I take forever to collect my thoughts into words … Which I have too many of in my head…



Tim_Tex
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19 Oct 2020, 5:21 pm

Welcome to WP from a fellow Texan!


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Double Retired
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19 Oct 2020, 5:57 pm

I am sure it is a shock to learn your child was ASD. It will create difficulties for them for their whole life. But...

If you are just now seeing indications of ASD perhaps it is mild?

I am 65 years old. I was diagnosed ASD-Level 1 (Mild) less than a year ago. Without knowing I was ASD I muddled through life OK, did fine, and I look good on paper. Yeah, I thought the world was messed up and had made a habit of being mean to me, but I did OK without even knowing I was mildly autistic. (Asperger Syndrome wasn't even in the U.S. DSM 'til the year I turned 40.)

There is one time I felt the worst about the diagnosis, it was when I searched the Internet for "famous autistics". Frankly, it bruised my ego. It made me feel like I hadn't done as OK as I thought.

I would say my upbringing was in an environment of autism acceptance. My parents thought I was odd but not bad, and they did what they could to accommodate me and to help me be happy and successful. It (pretty much) worked.

P.S. I'm married to an ADHD gal who was born and raised in Texas. She also looks really good on paper...but I think she looks best in person! :heart:


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FleaOfTheChill
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19 Oct 2020, 6:17 pm

Hello and welcome

I am curious, I know you say your child has asd symptoms, but are you also seeing symptoms in yourself? I wasn't sure, so figured I would ask.

Either which way, welcome again and I hope you find this to be a helpful place. :D



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19 Oct 2020, 7:38 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet.



Jowiiv1985
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20 Oct 2020, 11:24 am

Tim_Tex wrote:
Welcome to WP from a fellow Texan!


Thanks!

Double Retired wrote:
I am sure it is a shock to learn your child was ASD. It will create difficulties for them for their whole life. But...

If you are just now seeing indications of ASD perhaps it is mild?

I am 65 years old. I was diagnosed ASD-Level 1 (Mild) less than a year ago. Without knowing I was ASD I muddled through life OK, did fine, and I look good on paper. Yeah, I thought the world was messed up and had made a habit of being mean to me, but I did OK without even knowing I was mildly autistic. (Asperger Syndrome wasn't even in the U.S. DSM 'til the year I turned 40.)

There is one time I felt the worst about the diagnosis, it was when I searched the Internet for "famous autistics". Frankly, it bruised my ego. It made me feel like I hadn't done as OK as I thought.

I would say my upbringing was in an environment of autism acceptance. My parents thought I was odd but not bad, and they did what they could to accommodate me and to help me be happy and successful. It (pretty much) worked.

P.S. I'm married to an ADHD gal who was born and raised in Texas. She also looks really good on paper...but I think she looks best in person! :heart:


My parents were accepting of my ADHD diagnoses, they just had very little info and their own personal issues they still have not worked through.

My mom likes to point out how both my middle and youngest child are female carbon copies of myself. Which, I'm more concerned about how difficult life still is in my mid 30's.
My poor wife is in over her head. lol, I managed to trick her to fall in love with me over and over again.

FleaOfTheChill wrote:
Hello and welcome

I am curious, I know you say your child has asd symptoms, but are you also seeing symptoms in yourself? I wasn't sure, so figured I would ask.

Either which way, welcome again and I hope you find this to be a helpful place. :D


Yes, sorry, my 9-year-old as well. I was trying to figure out the overlapping conditions and symptoms. I've taken the online assessments to see if it's something I should look into. I honestly am not sure of the accuracy of the tests, since it's not professionally given.

Mountain Goat wrote:
Welcome to Wrong Planet.

Thanks.



Double Retired
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20 Oct 2020, 4:11 pm

I am probably biased (because I'm ASD-1) and officially not the best person to discuss emotions (because I'm ASD-1), and I am not a parent (ASD-1 might have been a factor there, too), but...

If the parents do things correctly, might an ASD-1 kid be, in some ways, easier to raise than a strongly ADHD kid?

I was well-behaved and the Internet says that's common with Aspies. Hans Asperger apparently called his young patients "little professors". (It might have been more accurate to call me a "little absent-minded professor".) My parents thought I did weird things but I wasn't being bad so they went with it.

On the other hand:
-My ADHD bride and an ADHD friend from 2nd grade have traded stories of their younger years and 8O
-An at-the-time young (she's my age) ADHD relative so impressed our cousin he still calls her the "the devil girl".

I can't resist one suggestion, though. Remember the author Paul Collins quote "Autists are the ultimate square pegs, and the problem with pounding a square peg into a round hole is not that the hammering is hard work. It's that you're destroying the peg." If your kid's ASD-1, maybe just go with it; don't try too hard to turn him into an NT, I fear you might accidentally turn them into an ASD-2, instead.


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AnonymousAnonymous
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20 Oct 2020, 5:54 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet! :)


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Spunge42
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20 Oct 2020, 6:49 pm

Welcome. There seem to be a few of us from Texas!


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jimmy m
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20 Oct 2020, 9:09 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet!


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Double Retired
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20 Oct 2020, 9:47 pm

Spunge42 wrote:
Welcome. There seem to be a few of us from Texas!

What do you call it when a bunch of Texans get together?

Answer from me, a guy married to a Texan:

Answer from my bride, a Texan:
A party!


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aquafelix
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22 Oct 2020, 6:57 am

welcome



Punkrockfan
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03 Nov 2020, 10:51 am

Welcome to Wrong Planet. I hope your children are doing well.



Jowiiv1985
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03 Nov 2020, 12:23 pm

Thanks for the welcome everyone. Sorry, I kind of dropped off the face of the planet there for a minute. I tend to drop everything and go into, what I like to call, "Limp Mode" after pushing too hard at home and work.

They are doing good, They hate school like any other kid but love learning.
My wife and I have considered having them both meet with a licensed professional in our area and seeing if there is some kind of preliminary assessment without getting an "Official Diagnoses". I've considered for myself as well, to be upfront honest.

Also, I agree on a room full of Texans... TOO LOUD! I have a house full of them...



Punkrockfan
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03 Nov 2020, 12:32 pm

Interesting. Thanks for the info.