ok,
So im a 20yr old hungarian male (with diabetes and reflux)
i got a brother (16yr nt) and two sisters (a 18yr handicapped and a 4yr old nt)
Im not sure if i got this aspergers thing (but then im never sure about anything)
so lets just say im self diagnosed:
- i got the cant look people in the eyes thing - its actually getting better i can look at them on photos now
- Im isolated, living in my own world all the time - sometimes i dont even notice it
- And i got two friends that i never met personally and hardly ever talk with them anyway
- also i could fill pools with my eternal anxiety which is getting to affect my hobbies in a bad way
High school was a living hell for me and i hardly recovered ever since
like no friends, arrogant teachers, my mom telling me im smart just lazy and slob
And im going to college this year but abroad (England) and i feel it will be worse than hischool
even thought it will be on game design and everything
And why im posting and try to socialize all so suddenly, is the fact tham my 16yr old brother is having a relationship and by the sounds (his room is just next to mine and everything) possibly lost his virginity and i even if i dont know for sure but that kind of sent me to the edge recently anyway, i mean i was slowly coming out of my depression but its back with full power again
Normally i dont like talking about my problems,
since most people are just go the problem is in me and its me and i should be trying adjust to the world and not try the other way around
And i was ok with the no friends thing for a while but i recently started to
not enjoy video games anymore, and i started to hate drawing things as well
and i also found out that people usually either get
frustrated by my attitude
or find it funny (like if i was eeyore from the winnie pooh thing or something)
or just try to completely ignore it
(or thinking about filling me up with crazy meds since we all know they are the answer to all the problems in the world or something)
but i better just shut up now
so Hi.
guess im back to lurking around here then..
30 Aug 2007, 12:40 pm
