Hi, Im new here

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Hi,

I'm Scott aka shoalinagent. I have frequented the interwebs since the mid '90s and only recently got a diagnosis after people recommended I do for many years. Although I had family members with Autism, many of them unable to function at all without assistance, it seemed impossible to me I would also be on the spectrum simply due to how much better I was/can function than the aforementioned family members.

After reading some stuff on this forum it was like a lightbulb moment and everything fell into place very quickly. I always felt 'out of the loop' and could tell there were unwritten conventions of communication I simply did not see or understand. In any case, I look forward to engaging in some of the conversations here with like-minded individuals. I try to focus more on the strengths rather than weaknesses (a complete 180 to my cynical mindset in my 20s) like hyper focus and our ability to persist even when faced with multiple failures. I believe we can make great entrepenuers and do almost anything the NTs are capable of just by sheer effort and focus alone.

Anyway I will stop there otherwise this might never end.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome!

Welcome to WP! I hope you like the company here.

"My" Autism is also not what I thought Autism was. As a result I did not get assessed (and diagnosed) until I was 64.

My diagnosis is Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level 1 (Mild), with an annotation that I also satisfy the criteria formerly associated with Asperger's Syndrome. And I agree that it seems to have been an advantage in a number of ways. Except socializing and romance, predictably, I think I've done well for myself. (And even though it took me more than 40 years to find her, my bride will insist that I should be glad that my romantic life was sparse enough that I was still single when I met her!)

Thanks for your response, I was lucky in that I met my wife at a young age and we have managed to stay together for almost 20 years now. There doesn't appear to be any secret to long term relationships aside from the luck of growing together in a way that you are still compatible, and occasional bickering seems essential. Nearly every divorce I've heard of started with one or both parties no longer bickering. I feel if I didn't meet her I would probably have never discovered how important routines are and would likely be living in a cave somewhere surrounded by my own crazy conspiracies!

Routines are important (my bride is ADHD so me doing routines is helpful).

*I* am a strong INTJ so I still sort of live in a cave, by choice. But she is busy enough on her own that it's not a problem for either of us—though the pandemic has been a problem (I am a natural hermit and she is a natural not a hermit).

I don't think of it as "bickering" but rather "fussing"...but, yeah.

Interesting! I am also an INTJ, my wife is an ISFJ. So you can imagine how much learning and adapting either side had to do.

I can only imagine the acquired knowledge you must have, especially if your interests are as varied and...sporadic as mine.

In my late 20s I got to a point where I was tired of the same repeating conversations and things over and over again on repeat. This was replaced in my 30s by having too many interests and not enough lifetime to possibly cover them all. I am hoping it stays this way. I always enjoy talking to older generations as it's very much a glimpse into my own future (although youngsters still think they are different and will do things better, they can't and won't).

I have the stereotypical Autie few interests...and find them very interesting.

But I worked a lot of long hours in getting to a comfortable retirement at age 56. Now that relatively short list of interests has a backlog of things I'd like to be doing with respect to them. I could easily keep six of me busy doing things I enjoy...but there is only one of me and he seems to not be in a hurry. I think my short list of interests might keep me occupied for quite a long time.

welcome, diagnosis at an older age can come as a shock, for me it was a relief because it explained so much of my past and answered most of those painful "why" questions we all have. Glad you are with us!

Hi Scott,

welcome! Glad to meet you.

I never really thought I'd be on the spectrum until I took a couple of tests a week ago, because I stumbled over some blog posts that were intriguing. Now I'm pretty sure I can see the signs in some of my relatives... none tested. Not going for an official diagnosis, there is nothing it can do for me (and much to hurt me).

Like you, I didn't think I could be - I'm doing well on my own, holding a job etc. - but when I read up, so many pieces fell into place and all my life suddenly made sense. It was a huge relief, and I'm still adapting, to be honest. This forum is a big help.

Hello...

Welcome.

Thanks for the welcome and messages.

Firlefanz and autisticelders;

That's true of the diagnosis, although I found I finally had some insight as to why things seemed very difficult for me socially. Contrary to what most people assume, you DO notice if you're treated differently and people react differently to you, and this can definitely exacerbate the issue especially if you already have issues with Anxiety and Depression.

These days I prefer to focus on the good things that come along with it. For instance this year I have been able to learn 2 new musical instruments and compose better music as a result, and learn some new skills relevant to my business.

Most NT's tend to work a 40 hour week, go home and sit in front of a TV for hours and are happy to do so. We can combine hyperfocus and our interests to achieve excellence in many fields all while leading a 'normal' life.

Welcome to Wrong Planet. You are taking the right approach in focusing on your strengths rather than your weaknesses.

Many NTs have strengths and weaknesses. + and -
But Aspies can have greater levels, such as ++ and --. Some of us even have exceptional traits such as +++++ and -----.
So the best way forward is to use your +s to overcome your -s.

Hello!
I think focusing on your strengths rather than trying to improve your weaknesses is a great approach, especially for us neuro-diverse. I feel like I spent so much time and energy trying to just meet the requirement in area's where I really struggled. Thats really cool that you have been using the internet since the 90's too when it was just taking off. I don't think I really got to start using it until about 2002-2003.