Lack of friends.

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I lack friends. I have moved around a bit and I have friends, but they all live very far from where I live. I feel anxious and scared a lot and have to try really hard to feel good sometimes. I think if I had friends to spend time with, then I wouldn’t feel like life is so difficult when I’m struggling. Even if it’s just from the distraction of a friendship.

Any thoughts?

I feel the same way. I do have a few friends, but only one close friend who lives in my city, and I only met him less than a year ago, by some miracle. (We met through Instagram because we are both artists who post our art and he was interested in my art and wanted to know more about it.)

Friendships and people in our lives are so important, and for sure they make us feel better, at least I think so, but it's so hard to make friends. It's very painful to be alone most of the time.

It looks like you have been a member for a little bit. You profile shows that you are a teacher and that you are interested in Music, hockey, current events. And that you are from Taiwan.

Many times when we grow up and go to school, we make friends. But when we graduate and go off to work, we lose this closeness and our friends can become few and far between. Because I am an Aspie (Asperger's Syndrome), I do not need a lot of friends but one or two. Many times these turn out to be Aspies or individuals with similar personalities. You might explore your interest areas such as music and hockey. If you look, you might find them near these interest areas.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

i understand. i have never had many friends and the ones i do have live far away.

ive been considering joining a local group for disabled adults. they get together once a week. though im pretty nervous about going especially as i dont know anyone and my disability isnt obvious.

Making friends as an adult should be easy. Lots of people are lonely, I think. I just don’t know how to do it if it doesn’t happen sort of organically, like with a coworker or some situation like that. I’m not much of a conversationalist. It’s not that I dislike people, at all. I like people…once I get to know them a little.

Welcome to WP!

Thank you.
I may decide to start posting more. A lot of the time I don’t think about aspergers. Maybe I should start to actively think about it more often. It feels good to be able to relate to some of the things I read here.

I worry about it. I know that many ASD types don't feel the need for close personal relationships and tbh, most of the time I'm content with my own company. I have a partner and a child, but I do sometimes wish I had some people to hang out with and there's evidence to suggest that being around people socially is very beneficial to your health by lowering stress and anxiety. It can actually mean that you live longer and increase your likelihood of surviving serious illness by lowering stress and anxiety. Having stress and anxiety about socially interacting can't be good for your health.

The world is a huge place and there are many interesting things to explore outside work environment. There are people that share your interest. All you need to do is look for them. You will stumble across them. They are there, but you must find them.

I’m shy. I am a shy person. Although better than I used to be, I still find it difficult to be ‘normal’ in social situations. Is there even such a thing as normal? My main interest is music, but I also like some sports, movies, and exercise. Meeting someone with shared interests (plural) would be great.

The bottom line is that you must do it. It will not happen on its own. You need to explore and find them. You will know when you succeed. They may become friends for life.

Thanks.
So, where to start looking…

Do you have anything like Meetup.com in Taiwan?

To KeepWaiting:

Welcome to Wrong Planet.

If you are open to the (admittedly not very likely) possibility of finding potential friends here on Wrong Planet, I would suggest that you edit your profile to include a signature line that mentions your interests, or at least those interests of yours that involve things you would enjoy doing or talking about with friends.

As far as I am aware, Wrong Planet doesn't have very many members from Taiwan, but, who knows, there might be a few others here besides you.

I'm new to the site I had quite a few friends in my 20's and one by one they've dropped off. I feel a bit like a imaginary friend in that way, because it seems they grow up and I go from fond memory. Then to no memory at all. I recently lost my last friend from that era. Due to his girlfriend deciding I was unacceptable. On account of she's awful and apparently. You aren't suppose to tell someone they're awful. Even though they objectively are to any one with two brain cells to rub together. It seemed so much easier when I was younger to make friends and even date women. I think it's due to when I was young I wasn't diagnosed yet. So I just confidently said what I wanted to say and sure people would sometime be upset with me, but I just assumed. That they were the strange one. I also had already read and studied an obscene amount on reading body language, because i couldn't ever tell what someone's intentions were in social interactions. So with that skill I think I would come across as a somewhat normal but eccentric guy. Now post diagnosis I think I'm alway aware in those situation I use to think the problem was the other person. Now my eyes are open to its me I'm most likely the problem. Plus the Idea of going to a bar with a bunch of NT's trying to make friendship again. Is equal part terrifying and exhausting. Anyhow long ramble to say. I thought I'd try to find friend amongst my own people. I've honestly never even met another aspie at least not that I was aware of. If anyone can extract some semblance of coherent thought in my rambling any kind of advice would be appreciate it