First time communicating with other autistic personalites

Post Reply New Topic

Hey. My name is Steven Applebaum. I am 17-years-old, and I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome several months after turning 15 during my freshman year in high school. I was about to be expelled from the school because the administration believed I was emotionally disturbed, even after my father mentioned his belief that I had Asperger's Syndrome. The school, which was the finest in the county, had no knowledge of the neurotype nor any of its symptoms. I had to seek a diagnosis from outside sources.

I grew up lonely and logical. I spent most of my time fearful of any social situation, which could result in what I call a "social intensity breakdown." Instead I tried to maintain my distance and studied the behavior of others. It took me from first grade 'till now to finally understand the reason why the "others" behaved the way they did. I've only recently tried to integrate myself into their culture, while still maintaining my autistic personality.

The reason I've waited so long to try to communicate with others like me is because I have a fear of change. Even when reading a potentially great book I become afraid that others have liked it before me and that if I enjoy it too I will be too late in becoming a part of that community. I feel like the change of being added to the sameness of an Autistic community could be intense for both the veterans and myself.

My favorite book is The Catcher in the Rye, which features a character that I can connect with due to his Asperger-like symptoms. His outlook on others by a social division of Catchers and Phonies for a long time defined my aggresive outlook on life. I've now strived for a middlepath of partial-integration and individuality.

Last edited by Redstar on 26 Sep 2007, 10:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Nice to meet you, Steven.

Glad you found WrongPlanet. You'll get to see some of your stories in other people's lives here. Have fun.

Thanks to both of you! I just did a speech today in Speech Debate/Academic Decathlon class. This is my third week in a regular high school, albeit one where every class is college prep. I spent my late freshmen through junior years in a nonpublic school for the emotionally disturbed. It was very unchallenging.

My speech was an informative piece concerning the education of my class on autism. To say the least, things got too socially intense.

welcome to WP. You will find yourself and start to realize there are many, many others like you are and lose a bit of your feelings of uniqueness ,with out leaving you feel non unique. Hopefully that understanding you gain will dull the edge of not being the only one like yourself. That was something we all are learning.

Redstar, welcome aboard!

Redstar,

I had similar experiences in my schooling. From 2nd-4th grade I was in a day school like that. From mid-6th-8th I was in another day school. From mid-10th through my graduation I was in that type of school residentially. I can remember visiting the first school for the first time carrying a book on hominids I was reading along with me. It turned out that very little science was taught there at all. At the first of two residential schools we would spend first period reading Harry Potter aloud. In my free time, (which was very limited due to the structure of the program) I was reading Kabbalah and Its Symbolism by the scholar Gershom Scholem. While I was there I got picked on a lot by the other students for adhering so much to the rules. A number of staff members were openly suspicious of me because I was so good about following all of the rules and didn't appear to get involved with the types of schemes the other residents tried to pull off. When I finally had a meltdown after 6 months that was very serious one of the staff members triumphantly declared, "I knew it. Finally the real you is showing through." Because the nature of the program was one of confronting very harshly and amplifying the difficulty of situations that were hard for a resident I just seemed to do worse and worse. My last month there was spent on a couch in a corner of the dining room facing a window, except for nighttime when I slept in one of the bedrooms.

I don't know if it is the same for you, but even though I wasn't intellectually satisfied and my own behaviors and predilections weren't typically understood by the people around me, I find the time spent there was worthwhile. I learned to understand the people around me in a much smaller setting than a public school and frequently, actions that I couldn't relate to in other people were taken to an extreme and sometimes openly dissected and analyzed by the staff.

Welcome to WrongPlanet

Welcome. I'm glad you're here. I can't even begin to tell you how much I hated Catcher in the Rye, but I think you are going to be very intertaining and informative. Keep posting.

Welcome to WP!

Tim

Another welcome!

Take a good look around the different forums.

You should be able to see that there is a WIDE variety of topics being discussed all the time.
This is a great place!

Welcome to WP, Redstar, like you, I was a big fan of "Catcher", when I was younger.