This is my first post here. All my life I was associated with weird and the older I got, the worse the stigma got. I went undiagnosed because it was the late '60s and autism was seen as something different in society. In that era, the only mention of autism in pop culture was the Mannix episode "Chance Meeting", whereas a very young girl being raised by her father had it. She was nonverbal in the episode. This was when autism was a one-in-a-million affliction.
Throughout school years, the rep stayed with me. I was labeled as "ret*d" by many students and faculty between 1972 and graduation in 1986. I sought no further education because I'd had enough of people and just wanted to get into the job/vocation world. That eventually happened with contracting in 1988; by 1996 I was a flooring contractor and doing very well with performance and reputation. I got married in 1992 & became an instant stepdad, eventually had a daughter.
Things were going well enough despite many various episodes which interrupted my career & family life. In 2003 I was hit by severe fibromyalgia and both my career and marriage were finished. A formal diagnosis in 2007 ruled out MS, a prevalent condition in my family line, and established fibro.
I got custody of my daughter after her brother went into the Army; she was pregnant and her mother booted her out. So she came to me and I took her in. She had a wonderful little girl...and 2 years later, we'd noticed something was not right and she was eventually diagnosed with autism, major impairment. Eventually, she and her mom got their own place, her mom had another girl and she seemed to be doing well developing. "Mom" married, had a third daughter who also developed some signs and was eventually diagnosed with autism, minimal impairment. A boy was born in the family and is doing well, as is another granddaughter born 3 weeks before him. I never thought I was playing a part in all of this...
I also learned over time that I had a cousin, second cousin and nephew who were on the spectrum. On 14 December 2018 I was in MSP...and was diagnosed with autism, high-functioning. I brushed it off at first but shortly after the New Year, the reality hit, very hard...and I became sullen, sour, more distant than I already was. This went on for about 8 months until one day...the bad feelings inside just stopped. That shadow which both dogged and dodged me all these years now revealed its face, reached out for me. I took hold. I began coming to terms with this being, slowly. I finally just accepted it.
To treat myself to this revelation, I gave myself the gift of telling my implied masculinity good-bye. I'd had it with masculinity...I didn't fit in anyway. Good riddance. I also gave more into something else about me but I won't discuss that here; let's just say it's a lifelong quirk and leave it at that.
I am neither married nor am I in a relationship...and I want neither. Taking care of myself is a challenge enough, nobody should be saddled with my life. Relationships beyond friendship are completely out. I live alone and will continue to do so until my body can no longer live. In the meantime, friends who understand keep me busy.
Hobbies are: automotive maintenance & restoration, home improvement, mechanical tinkering, woodworking, sewing, aviation, collecting...just keeping myself healthy & amused. Taking trips is another hobby, infrequent as they are.
Guess that's as in-a-nutshell as I can make this. Hello, everybody, from Boise, Idaho!
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"Potatoes are what we eat!" --quote from movie Deathstalker and the Warriors from He** (a'la MST3K)
13 Aug 2023, 9:57 pm
, As am slightly in a tight situation with my 1951 
