The Dino-Aspie Ex-Café (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

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Nan
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30 Sep 2007, 12:56 pm

blessedmom wrote:
Nan wrote:
nicknames? hmm. as a kid: "hey kid" "stringbean" "brainiac" "stretch" "einstein" "twerp"

when i taught school the kids called me "miz d" as they could never pronounce my name. i guess that would count, sorta.


How fast do I have to be able to run if I call you "miz D"?? Sounds like a great Wangster name!! ! :lol:


fast isn't the issue. it's my accuracy with this rolling pin at 100 yards you better think about. :lol: :roll:

i taught at a low-income, primarily navy housing school. it was a horrific joke - they breathed, they passed. half of them were functionally illiterate and would probably remain that way. poor things.

i was reprimanded several times for letting them go 5 minutes before the bell on fridays, as i remembered what getting to the buses/home before everybody else was like when i was a kid.... was not cut out to be a school teacher, no.



blessedmom
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30 Sep 2007, 12:59 pm

reika wrote:
I'm also in there w/ you both Hartz and Blessedmom. He still wants us to be together (so he can use me finiancally) but it'll NEVER happen. I'm SO much happier now. Have finally got it thru my thick head, that I do better alone, w/ just my kids.
My mom used to call me (don't laugh) "Winky". she said when I was little I would wink at everyone. I miss hearing it now that shes dead. Makes me tear up a little just typing it and hearing her say it in my mind.


When my first husband left, I remember thinking how odd it was that, even though I was alone with 3 little boys (4 yrs, 2 yrs, and 1 yr.), a huge debt load and no money, I was happy and less stressed than I had been since before I married him. I don't think that relationships are really supposed to be about making life more stressful! I could be missing something, of course, but I don't think so. I also seem to do better alone. I think I'll have to do up a sampler in cross-stitch with that written on it and hang it right by my bed. "YOU ARE BETTER ALONE!!" in big letters!!



Nan
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30 Sep 2007, 1:02 pm

reika wrote:
I'm also in there w/ you both Hartz and Blessedmom. He still wants us to be together (so he can use me finiancally) but it'll NEVER happen. I'm SO much happier now. Have finally got it thru my thick head, that I do better alone, w/ just my kids.
My mom used to call me (don't laugh) "Winky". she said when I was little I would wink at everyone. I miss hearing it now that shes dead. Makes me tear up a little just typing it and hearing her say it in my mind.


oh yeah, living single really is a hell of a lot better. having had it both ways a few times now, i really think i'm not meant to have a live-in "other." it's just so much less complicated when you have a friend who can visit now and then, but who knows where the damned door out is. :wink:

i think it was easier raising the kid this way, too. (given all the arguments, one would have to have the ideal "other half" to change my mind, and i didn't and don't know anybody who did).

this is amusing. you gals are off coloring your hair and primping. i'd just decided to stop coloring mine and let it go silver, and wear whatever's in the closet. except that walmart had these nice black jeans on sale and i had to get a couple of pair since my other ones keep sliding down these days. (they're on for like $14 a pair).

on the good side, they automatically hand me the senior's menu at resteraunts when i walk in like this and even though I've got well over a decade to get there, they give me the discounts. i figure if they're going to assume, i'm gonna take the cheaper food. :wink:


"winky"'s a cute nick. :D



lemon
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30 Sep 2007, 1:14 pm

hi swampblossom, hi rathermousie ! welcome to the café

nicknames? only my son gives me nicknames sometimes, mostly very cute ones,
like moosywoosy, the best ones i forgot :roll:

winky is so cool ! it reminds me of an elf in a book i had when i was 6 or 7, it was my favorite characther, maybe it wasn't an elf, wait , winky the , no don't remember anymore, but i still have the book, it was an english one



Nan
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30 Sep 2007, 1:23 pm

lemon wrote:
hi swampblossom, hi rathermousie ! welcome to the café

nicknames? only my son gives me nicknames sometimes, mostly very cute ones,
like moosywoosy, the best ones i forgot :roll:

winky is so cool ! it reminds me of an elf in a book i had when i was 6 or 7, it was my favorite characther, maybe it wasn't an elf, wait , winky the , no don't remember anymore, but i still have the book, it was an english one


i think there's a house-elf named winky.



blessedmom
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30 Sep 2007, 1:29 pm

Yep, there was!
That is cute, Reika and such a wonderful memory of your mother!! :)



rathermousie
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30 Sep 2007, 1:32 pm

Nan wrote:
i think there's a house-elf named winky.


Yep, there sure is. (oops, i hit preview and noticed I was a moment too late, oh well, thats what happens when i proof-read everything)

lemon wrote:
swampblossom, hi rathermousie ! welcome to the café


Hi lemon, thanks. :)



reika
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30 Sep 2007, 1:37 pm

I started dying my hair after my oldest daughter was murdered cause my hair went gray all at once, First I cut it ALL off, (it was past my butt) cause my great-grandfater and grandmother were both full blooded Native American and thats what you do when you are grieving. It's past my butt again after 4 and a half years and now requires 2 boxes of #104 "Nice and Easy. :D
One of my favorite Paul Simon songs off the "Graceland" album is called "Crazy Love" and in the 3rd verse theres a line that says

"Fat Charlie the Archangel files for divorce,
he says, this'll eat up a year of my life,
and then theres all that weight to be lost."
Makes me LOL every time I hear it. Really great song.. gonna go look for it hang on. Can't find it on youtube but heres the lyrics

CRAZY LOVE VOL II

Fat Charlie the Archangel
Sloped into the room
He said I have no opinion about this
And I have no opinion about that
Sad as a lonely little wrinkled balloon
He said well I don't claim to be happy about this, boys
And I don't seem to be happy about that
I don't want no part of this crazy love
I don't want no part of your love
I don't want no part of this crazy love
I don't want no part of your love
I don't want no part of this crazy love
I don't want no part of your love
I don't want no part of this crazy love
I don't want no part of this crazy love

She says she knows about jokes
This time the joke is on me
Well, I have no opinion about that
And I have no opinion about me

Somebody could walk into this room
And say your life is on fire
It's all over the evening news
All about the fire in your life
On the evening news

I don't want no part of this crazy love
I don't want no part of your love
I don't want no part of this crazy love
I don't want no part of your love

Fat Charlie the Archangel
Files for divorce
He says well this will eat up a year of my life
And then there's all that weight to be lost
She says the joke is on me
I say the joke is on her
I said I have no opinion about that
Well, we'll just have to wait and confer

I don't want no part of this crazy love
I don't want no part of your love
I don't want no part of this crazy love
I don't want no part of your love
I don't want no part of this crazy love
I don't want no part of your love
I don't want no part of this crazy love
I don't want no part of this crazy love

Wish I could find it somewhere, I'd love to hear it right now myself.
The music is fantastic through. It's an old african song he said once in an interview.
Thanks for not laughing at my nickname also :D


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If only closed minds came with closed mouths. Lau: "But where would they put their feet?" Postpaleo: "Up their ass."


SwampBlossom
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30 Sep 2007, 1:41 pm

Lupine wrote:
Hello SwampBlossom. It is so nice to meet you! It lifts my heart to know of relationships that really work... especially when AS is part of the picture. I find the "SwampBlossom and Postie Story" utterly charming.


Oh, we have our moments :lol: but, all in all, it's been one great journey that I know will last until the end and beyond


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blessedmom
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30 Sep 2007, 1:43 pm

Nan wrote:
i think it was easier raising the kid this way, too. (given all the arguments, one would have to have the ideal "other half" to change my mind, and i didn't and don't know anybody who did).

this is amusing. you gals are off coloring your hair and primping. i'd just decided to stop coloring mine and let it go silver, and wear whatever's in the closet. except that walmart had these nice black jeans on sale and i had to get a couple of pair since my other ones keep sliding down these days. (they're on for like $14 a pair).

on the good side, they automatically hand me the senior's menu at resteraunts when i walk in like this and even though I've got well over a decade to get there, they give me the discounts. i figure if they're going to assume, i'm gonna take the cheaper food. :wink:


It was far easier raising kids alone, I agree.

I was intending to let my hair grow out it's natural color. Thought it might be nice to see what color it is now. :wink: When I saw that it was a lovely shade of mouse gray with salt and pepper highlights, I changed my mind. The silver I could handle, the mouse gray, not so much.

If you're losing your pants, it is definitely time for new ones. I don't really want to call you Miz D! 8O We have enough teens with their crotches hanging around their knees. Walmart? $14? I think I own a pair or three of those.



blessedmom
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30 Sep 2007, 1:48 pm

SwampBlossom wrote:
Lupine wrote:
Hello SwampBlossom. It is so nice to meet you! It lifts my heart to know of relationships that really work... especially when AS is part of the picture. I find the "SwampBlossom and Postie Story" utterly charming.


Oh, we have our moments :lol: but, all in all, it's been one great journey that I know will last until the end and beyond


:D It does my heart good to hear that!



Nan
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30 Sep 2007, 1:50 pm

didja ever see the bloom county comic strips where opus the penguin's butt used to fall off or he'd be dragging it around behind him? i always wondered what that was all about - was funny looking, but didn't make much sense.
then.
sigh.



Lupine
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30 Sep 2007, 1:50 pm

Nan wrote:
Lupine wrote:
Chuck wrote:
I appreciate your opinions. I believe I will abandon the med route and go it alone. I have devised a plan:
1. I will listen to a radio turned to people having a simultaneous conversation until I can follow what they are saying well.
2. I will introduce a second radio tuned to a different simultaneous conversation, and play both at the same time, and practice until I can follow what is being said in both.
3. I will then type on the computer at the same time. This should simulate my work situation - at least closely.
4. Adding background music, equipment noise, and telephone ringing will bring the practice very close to reality.

May take a while, but it certainly beats taking meds. I appreciate the input. :D
...

Chuck



I have a couple of similar issues that I have been working on for... well, most of my life. I don't mean to be discouraging, but I've found it nigh on impossible to make any significant changes in the circuitry. At worst, I suppose, you'll overload yourself and have to go take a nap or run around in the woods...

On the positive side, there are plenty of workarounds if you get creative about it. In my opinion, medication can be an excellent workaround. As noted in this thread, part of the problem with meds is wresting control of the prescription pad from the medical establishment. Of course, knowledge is power, and with your background in pharmaceuticals I would bet that you can walk away from this particular shrink and find one who WILL listen.



something else to consider. if one is hypothetically really cut off from one's feelings, having stashed them away behind thick walls for safe keeping for years and years, and one begins to start to get in touch with them a little... one can have a look on one's face or a tone in one's voice that one doesn't even notice, the look and the tone actually being reflective of the appropriate feeling in a situation, though one is so used to ignoring them that they aren't aware of their presence. when others are.

still sounds like a new doctor is called for. if not pharms, tackling smaller parts of the whole might keep one from slamming into the wall too hard.


Yes, Nan, I agree with you. However, I've found that dealing with "mental health care" professionals who don't write prescriptions is generally more useful (and less expensive) than dealing with those who do. The ones WITHOUT the prescription pads (in my experience) are more inclined to actually deal with the emotional/interpersonal issues during a session, this being what they are trained to do, after all.

As you likely know, the psychologists and social workers have a collaborative relationship of some sort (unclear to me) with psychiatrists. Thus if a prescription is warranted, that discussion will first occur between the social worker and the client. The social worker (who has actually spent time observing the client and discussing his/her concerns) sends the client to the MD for the prescription. The social worker presumably (the best scenario) advocates for the client in discussing his/her needs regarding medication. Even better, the social worker provides feedback to the client on a regular basis as the meds take effect.

This is all according to my experience, of course. And one thing I want to emphasize... by "workarounds" I don't mean self-medication, etc. Chuck has invested a significant part of his life learning about meds, both academically and in ongoing study. He appears to have drawn some well-considered conclusions, and I 'd like to see him (of all people) get better results from the medical establishment...

As for myself, I make it a point to read up on any medication I need to deal with, directly or indirectly; it behooves me to be an informed health-care consumer.



blessedmom
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30 Sep 2007, 1:59 pm

Nan wrote:
didja ever see the bloom county comic strips where opus the penguin's butt used to fall off or he'd be dragging it around behind him? i always wondered what that was all about - was funny looking, but didn't make much sense.
then.
sigh.


:lol: :lol: You've really got to see about having that butt permanently attached, Hon!! :lol: :lol:



Nan
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30 Sep 2007, 2:04 pm

Lupine wrote:
Yes, Nan, I agree with you. However, I've found that dealing with "mental health care" professionals who don't write prescriptions is generally more useful (and less expensive) than dealing with those who do. The ones WITHOUT the prescription pads (in my experience) are more inclined to actually deal with the emotional/interpersonal issues during a session, this being what they are trained to do, after all. As you likely know, the psychologists and social workers have a collaborative relationship of some sort (unclear to me) with psychiatrists. Thus if a prescription is warranted, that discussion will first occur between the social worker and the client. The social worker (who has actually spent time observing the client and discussing his/her concerns) sends the client to the MD for the prescription. The social worker presumably (the best scenario) advocates for the client in discussing his/her needs regarding medication. Even better, the social worker provides feedback to the client on a regular basis as the meds take effect. This is all according to my experience, of course. And one thing I want to emphasize... by "workarounds" I don't mean self-medication, etc. Chuck has invested a significant part of his life learning about meds, both academically and in ongoing study. He appears to have drawn some well-considered conclusions, and I 'd like to see him (of all people) get better results from the medical establishment...
As for myself, I make it a point to read up on any medication I need to deal with, directly or indirectly; it behooves me to be an informed health-care consumer.


been there, done that. :wink: as have many of us here, i'm sure.

best case scenario is a psychiatrist who listens, then writes only if warranted. the system isn't set up that way, though, so they're mavericks and hard to find. gold when you can find one, but hard to find. and then there's what the insurance will cover.... more often than not you wind up talking for about 45 minutes to a total stranger who hands you a script for meds and you see them again in 30 days. aside from using them to get meds, they're pretty much useless.

as psychologists aren't trained to do meds, it does follow that they're there to listen. catch is, finding one who "fits". there are those who will also let you come and talk for 50 minutes at a given interval forever, as long as your insurance covers it. i had a friend who so bought into the "therapy" culture that it was one of her main talking points over lunch. with all her other friends who were in therapy. they went weekly or bi-weekly for years. and they never seemed to be getting anywhere, really, as far as i could tell. she was still as ocd, socially anxious, and miserable 5 years into all of that as she was when she started. but it was very trendy out here to be in therapy, so she got herself someone she could pay to listen to her talk. then she got laid off and her insurance terminated, and so did her every-two-week sessions and she is, i swear, the same as she was 10 years ago. except a lot of co-pays poorer. and totally clueless as to what to do next. they'd never worked on any strategies, no frames built, nothing. sad case. she's worse now.

i was fortunate to stumble across one who was goal oriented - we weren't there to discuss my mommy or my daddy, we were there to fix what was broken and get me functional in the shortest period of time. once i was functional, i had the leeway to play around with how mommy and daddy were or weren't. or with my insecurities. or with my pain. got a good one who knew some techniques that worked for me, then i took over. which was good, as i had no insurance, no money, and she was pro bono at the time.

they can all be useful - the catch is to not get addicted. :wink: he's a big boy, he'll sort it out.



Last edited by Nan on 30 Sep 2007, 2:13 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Nan
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30 Sep 2007, 2:11 pm

blessedmom wrote:
Nan wrote:
didja ever see the bloom county comic strips where opus the penguin's butt used to fall off or he'd be dragging it around behind him? i always wondered what that was all about - was funny looking, but didn't make much sense.
then.
sigh.


:lol: :lol: You've really got to see about having that butt permanently attached, Hon!! :lol: :lol:


think superglue would work?