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Hello, all. I am brand new to aspergers, having only recently been lead to the diagnosis. I am 48 and have struggled with everything that comes along with autism. I have never been able to hold a job for more than a few months, and I have struggled with the social aspect of life, and all of the horrible situations that this has created for my life. I have spent my entire life thinking I was lesser than others, and I have picked up some horrible behavior characteristics (forming BPD as a mask) to try my very best to fit in and be accepted just for who I am. I came from a very toxic family and was raised by two narcissistic abusers, and an older sibling who was also a narcissistic abuser. I have PTSD just from my childhood alone. I am just now trying to figure who I am, and this has lead me to the discovery of me being neurodivergent. I have always known something was different about me, but never knowing what it was, but being so obviously different lead me to some pretty serious identity problems. I knew I couldn't just be myself. So, I learned to mirror. I mastered this art of masking. But, I never formed my own individual personality; or that's how it felt not too long ago. I am handling this new information well. It actually made it all make perfect sense to me. For the very first time in my life I felt I understood myself.
So, anyways, that's the nutshell of my story.
It is nice to be here. I have zero support system and just needed a place where I felt like I belonged (for a change).
So, here I am.
I hope this will bring some more clarity to all of this. I don't fully understand all of it, but I do know that my brain is wired for a different frequency. I'm cool with it, and honestly I wouldn't change it for the world. I am proud of this, and who I truly am.

Thanks for reading.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Thank you

Welcome to Wrong Planet and thank you for sharing your story with us! I also have recently struggled holding a job for a long period of time and know it can be difficult. We are glad you are here with us!

Howdy Howdy Howdy

Welcome to the Wrong Planet.

Hi Xaydn,
Welcome to the organised chaos of WP.

Hello... And Welcome to wrong planet..Hope you find some interesting Threads and Forums to observe or even join in..
Sorry to hear about your upbringing ..Seems many other Aspies seem to have rough / abusive early times .
Oddly enough , having that happen early on in life for me gave me a certain . Ability to sometimes anticipate other people, whom were less than friendly sometimes.....But did leave some deep ptsd, that did make enjoying life..tough
at times in my life. Best wishes with you ongoing life experience and Understandings .

Xaydn, Welcome to the site.

You have come to realize that you are living in the Wrong Planet. You think differently then most people. You tried to fit in like everyone else but somehow just can't make the connection. It sound like you have finally found HOME.

Welcome to WP! I hope you find it comfortable here.

And, yes, I also believe that the people who bring you up have a huge influence on how happy you'll be.

Welcome to wp and thanks for joining

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Neato burrito. Learning I was autistic was about a year's worth of daily revelations. I had only one narcissist parent, but they were enough to sabotage the entire thing. I got lucky that I didn't meet them until I was 9 years old. My uncle was a bit a personality disorder type, but I can't figure out what. Probably a little borderline if anything, but he's cool from a distance once you get the hang of him and learn to develop no expectations. That physical distance is essential. My grandfather was a solid dude, so that might mean he was autistic.

I have personality disorder not otherwise specified (aka Nitro ). It's when therapists get sick of my BS, but they can't technically pin me down into one of the standard ones they love. Just kidding!...a little bit.

Have you have any recent revelations about the Asperger's?

welcome, diagnosed at age 68 5 years ago, life has never been better. glad you are with us!