I can't fight these feelings anymore

Post Reply New Topic

Hello everyone, I am new here of course.

I am self diagnosed, after listening to what my work colleagues and especially my manager say about my behaviour. The only reason my manager picked up on me was because I could accomplish and achieve extraordinary tasks beyond normality (I am an IT Specialist).
I don't behave like 'normal' people and I do find social interaction very challenging. I decided to take the tests and of course each one of them came out with a definite AS.

I have tried to fight the depression, I assume is from the loneliness and the anxiety and stress where my routines or things planned don't go ahead. I can't switch my mind off from so many thoughts including thoughts of suicide over the last 6 months because I'm tired of the pain and the torture my mind goes through.

My moods swing up and down continuously so many times a day. Now I am starting to come to terms that I may have found out what is wrong with me, I don't want to fight anymore to be normal like others. I want to be me and develop what strengths I have. I don't know how yet.

Today was terrible, I collapsed from exhaustion from the thoughts in my head and I feel major changes in my mind and head, too hard to explain.

I hope that I can learn from others in this forum and that it will bring me closer to the person I should be and accept myself for who I am. Thank you for reading this.

Welkome to WrongPlanet.

The WP Kink

Welcome to wrong planet.

I have had depression in my life before. It is because I was surrounded by NT's and not people like me. So if I was myself then people would tend to avoid me. Which hurts me because I do like being around people, I just don't like their rules on how to do it.
If I wanted to talk to NT's then I had to not be myself... which is hard!

I hope you have a good time here.

Welcome!

Welcome in

Welcome to WP!

You sound like me before I started my medications. SSRI's evened out my moods, and made my emotional state more stable. I sometimes say that they lowered the volume knob in my head, so the world doesn't overwhelm me as much. I highly recommend you see a psychiatrist and explore this avenue unless you can't afford it, or have personal objections to mind altering medications. Welcome to WP.

Welcome greetings, judelee, to the Wrong Planet forums.

...I've forgotten what I started fighting fooooor!!

Sorry , REO Speedwagon.

Welcome to WrongPlanet

Thank you everyone for you Welcomes. I like reading other peoples stories, makes me feel comfortable and that I'm not a freak. I don't want to go on any meds and I don't want to go on this way either.

They wanted to put me on meds when I was younger. I decided not to. I think it was a very good decision I made.

On the contrary for me. Meds have saved me!

Really? I am curious. How did they help you?

Well I'm taking anti-depressants, and I no longer cry every single day or want to kill myself. Sure my social skills are still godawful but the meds (I assume its them, since I haven't done anything else to change my mood) have helped me to feel better and accept more of who I am. They're a great life boost.

Meds do not have to be permanent, and they can definitely help during transitional periods, counseling or therapy.

Well at least you accept who you are.