Hello! new here,could i be a mild aspie?sorry its so long!

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Hi, ok here is the deal. I am a 20 yr old female and both me and my stepdad believe i may have aspergers very mildly. as does the rest of my family. i have always had trouble making friends but once i do make a friend i cling to them and ALWAYS keep in touch although its because im usually very quiet in social situations and sort of... off in my own world. i often say things that my family and friends tell me are rude and impolite although i dont realize it. lately my stepdad has taken to defending me and saying..." thats just the way she is. she is wierd but that gives it more quality". i have always done really well in school with things like colour and texture. i love patterns and reading, especially fantasy novels. i love to draw too, though im not good at it at all. however things that require logical thinking, such as maths and sciences have always been a great struggle for me and ive always done much better in language based subjects such as english, psychology, history, etc. except grammar. im terrible with grammar which is od because im so good at english. i am currently in university and living in residence. i attended college last year in a one year, horse industry technician certificate program. graduated barely. i lived in res last year too and the year before, when i did a fifth year of highschool at a bording school in the province of saskatchewan and did very well. can function fine on my own and have made a few friends here already. one of which i have very strong feelings for.

i have had 1 boyfriend in the past, in my life who just broke up with me about 1 month ago. we were together for 3 months and i was already living with him although we were doing the long distance thing while i am away at school. i felt like things were going way too fast but didnt know how to tell him, and plus there was a whole host of other problems, that i dont really want to get into. but he had met my parents and my family and i had met his. which i think might be normal after 3 months, and maybe the occasional sleepover BUT not living together! anyways i dont know if my 'friend' here likes me too although i would most likely be completely oblivious if he did until someone points it out or he tells me. I tend to talk to myself sometimes although lately since ive been using fb and texting my friends and family to "vent" that internal dialogue its been much less. people always need to be very pointed with me though i am highly disorganized and always losing things, however when someone tries to "help" me organize i get very upset, because this is what i am used to and i absolutley hate change. i'm very bad at small talk and when i try it often turns into a situation of me doing all the talking and before i realize that the other person hasnt been able to get a word in edgewise they say "ok well, it was nice talking to you, i have to go now." Or if i dont want risk that i just dont say anything but then people wonder why im so quiet. sometimes i get so deep in my thoughts that people have to literally touch me to bring me back to reality. when i focus i do incredibly well on detailed tasks but i am horrible at multitasking. i do one thing at a time, finish it, and then i move on. i also tend to have very strong intrests which sometimes, to others seem obsessive. but thats just my comfort zone to focus on only one thing. but the thing is i am extremely empathetic most of the time. rude sometimes and unaware of boundaries but very empathetic. ( i am a vegetarian because eating meat hurts animals , and have 2 cats and a dog at home whom i love). although i definitley feel empathy i am generally unsure of what is the most appropriate way to express it or to express my love for someone, especially a friend or a crush. im very friendly and warm when people get to know me or when i get good vibes off of someone i like but i tend to be either too nice (and it scares people away), or rude ( and people get offended.) depending on who it is and the situation. people generally dont know how to approach me (except my friends of course, who are both girls and guys),and my family says its because they are scared of what they dont understand. I dont think im that hard to understand but anyways... i also would much rather talk with someone one on one or in very small group. when in large groups i generally dont say anything for fear of sounding irritating or stupid. yet i can "speak to" a large group of people just fine. I just dont like to "speak in" a large group. ive always felt somewhat "different" from everybody else. and i dont know why but i guess putting a name to it i feel might help me so at least i could tell people and then everyone would be more comfortable? like they would understand that i dont realize when i say something rude and i do say rude things, often, but i never realize it until someone actually points out. the same thing with when people tell me "B, stop going on and on and on about the same thing. shut up. " lol. i also have a VERY good auditory memory for quotes and etc. but visual things like diagrams just dont do it for me. its also quite strange but i dont notice when I say something rude but when someone criticizes me or say anything to me showing the least bit of anger or dissapointment i automatically assume they are mad at me or i did something wrong ( unless the case is obviously otherwise, but anger of any kind still scares me). it drives people crazy. based on this do you see any traits that could indicate i might be a mild aspie? oh i almost forgot! i took the AQ test 4 times and scored between 29 once, 30 twice, and 31 once. you probably already know this but for those who dont the scoring goes like this, 0-10 = low risk, 11-22 = average risk, 23-31 = above average risk, and 32 - 50 = high risk. so what do you think? and ive already taken the AQ test so now what is my, next step?

You should have put a "possibly" or something on the poll.

Anyway, some of the qualities might be aspie-ish, but other ones you have aren't so much. Maybe you are BAP, but not Aspie. Or maybe something else entirely? Or maybe just a slightly eccentric NT? Or perhaps you ARE an aspie. I honestly have no idea for sure though, and if your symptoms are bothering you to an extent where they are affecting day-to-day life, then you should go for a diagnostic test to find out if you do have aspergers or possibly something else.

Some things are "off" though. For example, most aspies have a really good visual memory and a really poor auditory one (though there might be some out there who are the opposite...I just haven't heard of any yet). I am not sure if you meant it this way, but actually aspies often ARE logical thinkers (and those that have trouble in math and science tend to have difficulties with the abstract parts of those subjects, not the logical parts). Disorganization can be found in AS, but some are also highly organized. Disorganization can also be found in such things as ADHD.

Other things you said do sound aspie-ish, so like I said....I really don't know.

Welcome to WP!

Hi and welcome.

Thank you Tim Tex

The procedure for diagnosis depends on what country you're from. I don't think you said where you're from in your original post. In some countries you can get a diagnosis for free. In other countries, where health services are not free, you would have to pay for it, and it would be expensive.

If you state what country you are in, people will be able to advise you better.

Im from Canada, Oh, Oh Oh, Canada! also i almost forgot. i know its not a usualy aspie trait but although i'm terrible at reading other people ( i mean if they are really upset or really happy i will pick up on it, but in general...) I tend to show my emotions a great deal. sometimes too much. if im happy about something (like im thinking of my "friend" i mentioned in my original post) i tend to smile alot. i also tend to laugh alot but... at innapropriate times. again part of being told im being rude or impolite. But yes i'm from Canada!

Well in that case personally I cannot help because I am from the UK and don't know how your health system works over there.

I think you should go and start another thread in the "General Autism Discussion" area of the forum, and call it something like: "advice for diagnosis in Canada." Canadian people will see the thread and perhaps reply to let you know how you go about getting a diagnosis and how much (if anything) you can expect to pay.

If you just keep writing about it in this thread here, less people will see it. Not all members check the posts in this part of the forum, you see.

Hope this helps.

Welcome. Sounds more like you have NLD. Do you like the Japanese Anime cartoon stuff by any chance? That is the deciding factor apparently.

I am hardly qualified since I am awaiting diagnosis myself but the problems with logic seemed to ring warning bells with me also. There is a fair amount of variation in the way AS can present in different people but I always thought a very logical thought process was pretty much universal with AS. Again, people, please correct me if I have misunderstood but that leads me to think maybe something other than AS.

Welkome to WP

Mick

Well our certified Aspie young man kin do think real logical within his realm of expertise. His stumbling block seems to be processing new information. If he dont know about something..he dont like to discuss it. Guess it goes back to whether something captivates his interest. If it does best watch out because he is going to know all there is to know about that topic. The uninteresting stuff gets tuned plumb out. Do that seem logical? His Granny say he has to be smarter than everybody else. Surely not..lol.