Hi, I'm new here, nice to meet you all :)

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Hi, I'm new here. I don't know whether I have Asperger syndrome or not, I have difficulties to socialize and suffer from bullying since my childhood (Now I'm college student). People think I'm weird or freak, and nerd. People often offend and attack me verbally. I ever bullied by a group of people.

Since my childhood I love reading books, especially scientific related books, such as human medicine, animal and insects, plants, gardening, experiments, etc. I often spend my time in front of computer, drawing and painting to spend my free time when other people go to mall or other nice place with their friends.

In my school, I tried to make friends, but I can't keep it in long-term. I tried to make friends, especially the close one, but it ended they making fun of me or just come to me when they needed, especially when it comes to school task or exam, but when I need their help, they just act like I'm not here. And I think other people just spread gossip about me to make my friends go from me because my friends suddenly took a distance to me and then act that I'm not here, and when I walking near them, I look they whispering each other, sometimes with laugh.

I'm pretend to be happy, but I was broken inside. I want to cry and tell all of my feeling to someone, but I don't have someone to share my real feeling. It's hard to believe someone again.

I have parents who support me and taught how to fight against them. The problem is they force me to be strong and not to cry. They tease me when I cry even just in front of their eyes.

Now I am still suffer from bullying, I am tomboy and learn martial arts to defend my self. I have several imaginary best friend, and I'm in love with one of them. I don't it's normal or not. When I feel upset in real world, I go to sleep and imagining I'm in my world when no ones can hurt me and I can everything that I can't get in real world.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Hi,
I was saddened to read your post. From the few times it happened to me I know how hard bullying is to put up with. It will I think give you a enlightened perspective on people and their condition however, and not everyone is like that, prone to pack mentality. I always thought Tomboy's were cool, and still do. I am married to female vet.

Welcome to WP! I'm sorry to hear about the bullying. I hope we can help you.

hi. welcome, blue sky. i share your interest in medicine.

Hey BlueSky96 welcome.

Welcome to Wrong Planet Nice to meet you!

Hello, and welcome to the forum!

I've definitely been there a few times with the bullying and having no supportive friends. It can be quite rough, I hope you get through it OK.

Hi!
My experiences have been very similar to yours, it's normally other girls that notice your different. My first few years of secondary school was very difficult, my primary school was small and everyone was friends I think they naturally accepted I was different. My mistake was choosing to attend a different secondary to my friends. Anyways I fell out of contact with them because I noticed I was 'different' and it hit home. The bullying, school wouldn't class it as that. But the whispering and staring pretty much told you. I was never able to make friends because I saw what the girls did to this girl who thought they was her 'friends'. I finally found sims! It gave me back some of the control I lost. Now I'm nearly in college and have just accepted I'm different. School I hardly attended due to the environment, I felt like I had no space. Hopefully college is better. Anyways your not alone! I'd welcome the company if you ever need to talk! Good luck.

Welcome to Wrong Planet! Sorry to hear what happened to you and I hope you find all the emotional support you need on here!

Hi, I'm new here too. I could relate so much to your comment that you pretend to be happy but are broken inside. Hope we can find healing here together.

Thank you all

@TentofMot Thank you, when I open this forum. I feel that I'm not alone. I hope I can be feel better there. I will try to find real friend or someone like me at my place too

@mikeman7918 Okay I hope so

@AbbigaleAbbigale Thank you other girls know I'm different, most of them seem like not accept my difference. Now I'm a college student, I hope college can be better, I know the are several people who try to bully me verbally, and I try ignore it. Luckily I find people who still tolerate my difference and some rather unique people at my college. I'd like to, good luck too

@aspieinaz Hello, I hope we can find healing here together too I pretend to be happy so I'm not make my family more have diffficulties, and I don't want to make the bully happy with my sad expression

You are a good daughter to not to want to cause any difficulty for your family. But I am sad to read that your family forces you not to cry and that they tease you if you do. You can't just pretend that you don't have emotions. Everyone has emotions and they need to be expressed. If you just try to ignore your emotions it might make you physically sick. When my mother died, I cried a lot, but my brother did not cry at all. But for many years after that he was a very angry person, always yelling, never happy. I think if he would have allowed himself to cry when our mother died, that he would not have been so angry. I don't know for sure, but that's just what I think.

You can cry here if you want. We will not tease you. You can share your feelings with us, this is a safe place. Maybe you would like to try my strategy. I allow myself to have a "not coping" time, where I will be alone and cry for about ten minutes. Then I go through the rest of my day and if I get upset, I will not cry then, but I will remind myself that I can cry later during my "not coping" time. I am sending you a long distance ((((HUG)))) I hope you can feel it.

Hi BlueSky96,
Your post stirred memories from my (distant) youth. I relate to you very much as all of us on the spectrum do. You have found a good forum here, explore it! Many NT's seem to think we are emotionless, I think we are more emotional than them. We all need an emotional release. As for 'normal', I gave up trying to work out what that even means many years ago because it means something different to every person and therefore can never truly be fixed. People just think it can when say 7/10 agree with each other. It is just an illusion. Be yourself, that's good enough.

@aspieinaz Thank you, I hope your brother's feeling can be better, it's hard for lossing a close person, especially in family Is your brother has asperger? I will try to handle my emotion until I can cry at hidden place when not coping time, Yes i can feel that hug XD

@Looking Yes, this forum make me feel I'm not alone who suffer like this. I like to explore this forum too

Hi and welcome to wrong planet

Your not alone on here with the bullying a lot of people have gone through it. /hugs

Learning to defend yourself is a good idea but always remember it's a last resort.

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