Female newly diagnosed at 45

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Hi guys, this is a first for me even though I have attempted many times to reach out and never gone through with it in the end. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve spent my entire life ‘dealing with it on my own’ or because I just don’t know what to say. I read that it’s easier for us to converse via forums however for me I find it terrifying as I never know what to say or how to respond, to how my response will be received, so I just don’t reach out. The problem I have, is, the older I get the more crushingly lonely I feel and I don’t have any friends. My anxiety is going through the roof just writing this and I know I’ll ruminate forever thinking about how stupid I was to post this as nobody cares and nobody understands. I know this is wrong on this forum but my life experience has taught me that people don’t get it and it’s easier for me to be lonely than it is to reach out due to the many negative experiences I’ve had. I would love to hear other people’s stories.

Welcome to Wrong Planet. I felt the exact same way when I first posted here. Come on in...you'll be fine.

P.S. I received my diagnosis at 55.

I was diagnosed autistic at a very young age.

I've had both positive and negative experiences.

I have learned not to rely on people----but to rely more on Nature----to make me happy.

Welcome to WP, by the way

Welcome to Wrong Planet.

I figured out I had autism just one month short of my 64th birthday, so you are way ahead of me.

Women tend to get diagnosed later in life, especially in the "older" generations, because women tend to present differently and we are better at masking. But the masking over the years really takes it's toll. It is exhausting. Many adult autists have few or no friends.

I think you'll find people understanding here.

Welcome to WP!

Since you muddled your way through to 45 before you got the diagnosis I will guess you are what is informally called a "High-Functioning Autistic"...like me.

I was 64 when I got the diagnosis which is formally: Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level 1 (Mild). I was delighted! It explained so much. I really did insist we get champagne on the way home from receiving the diagnosis. And my thoughts might have been along the lines of "So that's what's wrong with everyone!"

Since I got the diagnosis when I was 64 and happily retired the diagnosis meant something different to me then it would to someone much younger. For me it was not a warning of problems I would meet in the future but rather insight into the problems I had met in the past.

But, no matter what your feelings are about the diagnosis--Welcome to WP!

Hi and welcome.

Diagnosed late in life also at 49.
I get that you feel uneasy with posting and such, I feel the same, for me it comes with the autism and avoidance thingies. I've decided not to let it hold me back tho, and I don't regret it.
You'll be fine here.

Love what doubleRetired wrote in the last paragraph of his post. ...
Just wanted to welcome you to WP ... Congradulations on getting yourself to post here....

Late diagnosis here too.

Welcome, Solivagant66!

Welcome to Wrong Planet.

I am waiting to be assessed.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Hi thanks for sharing. Do you have a date for your diagnosis? How do you find I being an Aspie impacts you?

No date yet. Is a bit of a long story about trying to find out what is wrong with me and it was very unexpected to find myself waiting to be assessed, but I had hit crises point several times and it reached a point where I was desperate for answers...

Been having mystery issues since I was a young child and as I got older they became worse and worse. Never came up on medical tests. I thought they were physical as it never occurred to me they could be mental. I am 100% sure now they were shutdowns as well as partial shutdowns. Doctors did not know and thought I was faking it. After about 20 years I changed doctors, and these doctors now are supportive. They did not find out though but it was rather with Gods guidence that I found out as I was fed up and prayed "Lord. What's wrong with me?" That was around five years ago, and things got worse and worse, but through a series of strange events I eventually ended up finding out about autism (As so many people asked if I was on the spectrum or told me I was and I had thought they were joking!)... But it was in april 2019 that I asked a doctor and expected a yes or no answer, but found myself on the list to be assessed in early may 2019.

When the Psychologist told me and my bride my diagnosis, she asked me my reactions. They were:

(1) I was very happy to finally understand so much of my past.

(2) Maybe I could use the diagnosis to persuade my other medical providers to communicate in a way that worked better for me. (I'm old. I see doctors.)

(3) Ooooh! Maybe a new "special interest"?!

(4) Now, when someone bumps up against one of my Aspie traits I can point out: "I have a Doctor's note for that!"

So far:

(1) Still very happy for the enlightenment.

(2) Not so much. Before I had the diagnosis I tried to get my doctors to put things into writing...some did, some didn't. After I told them my diagnosis...no change...sometimes I get things in writing, more often than not I don't.

(3) I'm on WP!

(4) My bride was tired of hearing "I have a Doctor's note for that!" before we left the Psychologist's office.

But, I got my diagnosis shortly before the Pandemic so me and my diagnosis haven't gotten out much. The only real difference the diagnosis has made so far is I understand more about myself and my past.

Hi and a warm welcome to you .