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cyclivist
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12 Sep 2007, 1:09 pm

Hi all!

Yesterday, as on most days, I visited one of the many sites and discussion boards I visit daily, and one of the threads there was about being introverted or not. Reading through the posts in the thread, I found that many of the people posting in it fit the general criteria for Asperger or ADHD, or both. So, I opened up the Wikipedia pages on AS and ADHD, linked to them and suggested that people have a read there. I've read those two several times, as well as many other pages devoted to the subject, but I've either failed to notice it, or the link to this site on the Asperger page was never there until recently. I clicked the link, and started to read through a large number of threads in here. And that's the story of how I found this place!

One of my best friends has an Asperger syndrome diagnosis and one for ADHD as well. His AS is fairly mild, though, unlike his ADHD, which severely limits him in many situations (riding on a crowded and noisy bus is hell on earth for him, as he's unable to filter out the noises around him). In recent years, especially after he was diagnosed, he has become something of an activist for the rights of people with neuropsychiatric disabilities. Because of, and through, him, I've learned a great deal about AS and ADHD, and met a lot of people who have it (both self-diagnosed and diagnosed by a professional).

For a long time, my friend has been teling me that I have AS, and I've always known and felt that I'm a bit out of synch with the "normal" crowd. I suspect that I may indeed have AS, but I have no interest in getting a proper diagnosis. However, there are things that suggest to me that I don't have AS, so I'm a bit confused about my status (hence the thread title).

I definitely have several typical aspie traits, but many other ones are absent. If I do have it, I seem to have been dealt a fairly well-balanced hand.

For example, I tend to get deeply engrossed in narrow (or sometimes not so narrow) subject matters, only to seemingly lose interest in them weeks, months or years later. Reading through a description of aspie traits and behaviours usually has me nodding in agreement and recognition at the end.
Texts such as this one:
http://home.att.net/~ascaris1/what_is.html
Almost everything in there fits me like a glove, and could very well be a description of my life, with just a couple of exceptions.

You'd think that after that, there'd be no doubt about it from my point of view. Yet, there is. The aspies I've met have almost universally been quite difficult for me to get along with, and I find myself taking on what I suppose would be an NT view of them. Spending time with aspies tends to make me feel "normal" compared to them, but spending time with NTs rarely makes me feel out of place, even though it does happen at times.

I've also taken a couple of online aspie quizzes, and I always end up as NT in them, often by a huge margin. And I've tried as hard as I can to be honest in answering, even to the point of answering what I suspected was the aspie way when I felt it was a coin toss between two options. Several threads here contain test results from such online tests, and for the people who have posted their results, they tend to have scored as aspies. That suggests that the tests aren't flawed, and that they have at least some value and predictive ability. I could be wrong...

The only actual problem I have is that I can't seem to make many friends (my aspie friend literally picked me as his friend!) and that I am unable to find a girl to love. I'm 28 years old, and I've never been in any relationship, and I've never been kissed or even hugged (other than friendly hugs - not counting those). If you're interested, I've never had sex either, but I suspect that I'm asexual, because actual intercourse doesn't interest me the slightest. Never have, and (I suspect) never will.

I have been on a date (and a half) once, five years ago. The girl asked me out. Sadly, I am convinced that her intentions were less than noble, and that she just wanted an easy target for some horizontal fun before she left the country (I lived in Ireland at the time, and she was a German au pair). We met once (I never touched her the entire time - and I mean never!) at a pub, had a few pints and then I walked her to her bus home, while she promised we'd meet a second time for a Sunday morning breakfast at a café. We did so later the same week (still hadn't touched her at all), and after that we said we'd get together a third time, and that I should call her to set it up later. I never did, and she left Ireland for Germany two weeks later, while I was back in Sweden visiting my parents. She returned to study, so she must have known about her leaving long before she asked me out, which is why I feel that she was only after my body (heh...), but I will never know. I never asked her what her last name was, and with just a first name, it's damn hard to find a person in Germany.

In my younger days, I was quite optimistic about finding a girl, but in the past few years, I've grown increasingly bitter, almost to the point of making myself unattractive in social situations and resenting girls who are potential partners (i.e. single, my type). Which of course does me no good at all, but I can't help it. Seeing happy couples makes me depressed, and a particularly couple-rich day can send me into a days-long episode of self-pity and bad mood.

Not having more than two close friends and almost no social life doesn't help either, since I therefore almost never meet girls. Since I don't go out alone, I consequently almost never go out. And private parties are rare. Last time I was at a private party of any kind was last year, and I can't even remember exactly when. I was out with a couple of friends early this summer, and another time in February. Nothing since. Yet, I enjoy going out and I enjoy private parties! I'm isolated partly because of my friendlessness.

Well, enough about all that misery...

I'm into my third year of geology/earth science at the local university, so that takes up a lot of my time right now.

When not busy carving or digging into rock or soils, sieving samples or measuring strike and dip of sediment beds, I spend many hours every week riding bikes. I say bikes, because I have three. I'm a die-hard roadie, so no bouncy-bouncy bikes for me. 23 mm of air-filled rubber is all the suspension I need! Riding them is only part of the fun, though, so I also build my own bikes. After all, that's the only way to know that they're put together properly, and that they're spec'd the way I want. The limited space available in my flat, and the limited funds available in my bank account prevent me from getting any more bikes at the moment...

I'm not a racer, but I do race occasionally. I'm only fast uphill though. I've done a few uphill time trials, I can match the faster racers in Sweden, but I'm not even close on flat ground. I also only do individual time trials. Racing in tight packs scares me, although after the first turn, I suppose it'd effectively be an individual event for me anyway!

Ok, I'll leave it at that for now. Feel free to comment and/or ask me anything! Do I seem to be an aspie or not?

(Have you noticed that I like parentheses? :D )



Last edited by cyclivist on 13 Sep 2007, 12:20 am, edited 1 time in total.

Asparval
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12 Sep 2007, 1:14 pm

cyclivist wrote:
(Have you noticed that I like parentheses? :D )


I like parentheses within parenthases (like this[and this]LOL)



AnonymousAnonymous
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12 Sep 2007, 2:57 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet!


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Tim_Tex
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12 Sep 2007, 3:22 pm

Welcome to WP!

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LadyMahler
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12 Sep 2007, 3:36 pm

If you score a high NT on the online questionnaires, then perhaps you need to look more into asperger literature.

The article you link to is excellent. A question to you: when you are direct with people, like they describe in the article, is it :
a) intentional (so you choose to be direct rather than state things diplomatically)
b) just something that happens, you have no control over it and you would probably not be able to do it much better unless you really (really) put a lot of effort in it and think quite a bit before you talk?

Another one: if people find you rude, is it
a) something that other people must just learn to deal with and accept you as that cause you say things the way they are, or
b) are you suprised at their reaction because you did not find yourself rude at all (and you didn't mean to be rude)?

Typically, an aspie would answer b) in both cases.



Duku
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12 Sep 2007, 4:32 pm

Welcome !
I was also diagnosed of some form of AS/ ADHD/ ... ? (I got parts of everything)

This of course doesn't mean that diagnosed people are handicapped or anything...



cyclivist
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12 Sep 2007, 4:33 pm

LadyMahler wrote:
If you score a high NT on the online questionnaires, then perhaps you need to look more into asperger literature.

The article you link to is excellent. A question to you: when you are direct with people, like they describe in the article, is it :
a) intentional (so you choose to be direct rather than state things diplomatically)
b) just something that happens, you have no control over it and you would probably not be able to do it much better unless you really (really) put a lot of effort in it and think quite a bit before you talk?

Another one: if people find you rude, is it
a) something that other people must just learn to deal with and accept you as that cause you say things the way they are, or
b) are you suprised at their reaction because you did not find yourself rude at all (and you didn't mean to be rude)?

Typically, an aspie would answer b) in both cases.


I am rarely direct with people in that way. Rather, I'm typically overly diplomatic, as I dislike conflicts. One aspie trait I have is a deep dislike for and discomfort with lying or being dishonest, so being diplomatic and avoiding lies has made me very good at saying something without saying anything, or using very convoluted language.
When I am direct, though, it's mostly intentional and "controlled", I would think. I can't imagine anyone thinking of me as rude in any way. In that regard, I'm socially savvy.

In this test: http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php
I scored 73/200 on aspie and 146/200 on NT.

Here I'll try to make short comments on how well the paragraphs in the main text at http://home.att.net/~ascaris1/what_is.html describe me. To avoid copyright issues, I will not copy the text here, but instead refer to each paragraph in sequence, numbered from 1 and onwards...

1. No comment (NC), of course.

2. This is one of the things in this article that don't describe me well at all.

3. In some cases I do speak using quite formal and "advanced" language, but I almost always adapt to the situation, both in language style, vocabulary and subjects. Bit of a chameleon there, really...

4. Depending on the person(s) I'm talking with, this can be a problem for me. It also depends on my mood and how alert I am. The subject also plays a part - if I'm babbling about a pet peeve of mine, or something that I'm very passionate about, I often miss those signals.

5. Describes me very well. I was bullied in school, and I've never cared much about social status, fashion or anything like that. I've learned to do so in adulthood, but it definitely doesn't happen by itself...

6. Again, describes me well. I probably have a greater need to be social than aspies in general, though.

7. Perfect description. I could speak pretty much like an adult at age two, and could read and write at four (possibly earlier). My vocabulary is far greater than that of the average person. Although I've never taken an "official" IQ test, the more reputable ones I've found online generally place me in the top 1-2%. I've also scored in the top 0.5% on the Swedish equivalent of the SAT used in the US. The military conscription "aptitude test" placed me in the top percent of all tested.

8. Me in a nutshell. For a few years it was photography. Then weight training and nutrition. After that, it was aerodynamics and aircraft construction. Followed by cycling and bicycle mechanics. I'm still in that. Layered on top of that, I've had many brief bouts with different narrow subjects.

9. I'm very sensitive to loud (particularly sudden) noises and strong smells (whether pleasant or foul). I also respond very badly to repetitive sounds and noises. I don't have a problem with multiple voices at all. I do almost always carry earplugs, but not really to protect against disturbing noises, but rather for protection against damaging sound levels of any type of sound. Scratching sounds are horrible. I often can't eat with other people, because of the sound the cutlery makes against the plates. Even thinking and writing about it now gives me goose bumps!

10. Yep, that's me. I have a very hard time lying or being dishonest, unless it's either extremely causal and inconsequential, or if it's to save someone suffering. I'm also very tolerant of differences, perhaps even to the point of being too lax and accepting.

11. NC
12. NC

So, there you have it. I really don't know what to think! :D



Last edited by cyclivist on 13 Sep 2007, 12:19 am, edited 1 time in total.

richie
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12 Sep 2007, 5:22 pm

Welcome to WrongPlanet Image



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12 Sep 2007, 5:31 pm

Hi, welcome to WP :D


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12 Sep 2007, 5:37 pm

Hi. welcome! :D



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12 Sep 2007, 11:56 pm

My honest non-professional opinion is that you are not an aspie at all, just very gifted, hence the keen interests and other traits. Sensitivity to light, sound etc. is not something exclusive to asperger's or autism.

But you are most welcome to hang out here. I suspect that there are a lot of very bright people that struggled to make friends as kids hanging out here, as they find similar qualities among aspies.

So, Welcome :)



cyclivist
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13 Sep 2007, 12:32 am

Thanks!

I suppose that since there's a gradual scale from NT to full autism, with AS between the two, I could be on the NT side of the border, but still closer to the AS side than people are on average.

What I do have for sure, is what's described in this Wikipedia article:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ADHD_predo ... nattentive

My dad definitely has ADHD as well.



reika
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13 Sep 2007, 1:00 am

Hi, I'm just writing as an avid cyclist also. Gotton older so just on a Trek now,( used to race HPV's iin college, only girl on the team.) My old Fugi got stolen but have hauled my old Nishiki (52 tooth sproket, with campanello brakes, did a LOT of milage on that one. Can't bear to part with it. Only weighs 11.4 pounds)all over the country. Cracked my mom up that when I moved up here I brought only 2 suitcases but shipped 4 bikes. Still try to ride 15-20 miles a day when my daughters at school and while the weathers holding. Have you ever ridden on the "studded tires" for bikes? If so what do you think of them? Biking is my obsession as is Alaska. As you can see I also like ((()))'s. :D Unfortunatly I also seem to write really long posts. :D


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13 Sep 2007, 1:25 am

You raced HPVs? What kinds? I'd love to build me a fully faired recumbent some day. A long wheelbase one. Even cooler would be a fully faired back-to-back tandem recumbent!

The studded tyres are great. Saved me from crashing at least once. A car turned in front of me, and I hade to brake hard on clear ice. I slipped a bit, but remained upright. The ones I use are Nokian Extreme 294. They're 26x2.1". 294 is the number of tungsten carbide-tipped studs! :D They don't work well in wet snow, though - they "float" on top, making it very difficult to ride in a straight line, or at all (in some cases)! Fortunately, we get very little snow here.

11.4 lbs is insane! Are you sure about that weight? Less than 15 lbs would be a very light bike, and 11.4 is only possible with extremely expensive components, frame and wheels. US$10 000 is probably the cheapest such a bike could be built for.



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13 Sep 2007, 2:03 am

Welcome!

Generally the clincher is whether or not you naturally know and carry out the social expectations in everyday human interaction. Do you know where to put your gaze? Your arms? When to interject comments at a party?


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reika
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13 Sep 2007, 2:54 am

Check your PM gonna try the cut copy paste thing. Had a big paragraph on here and then realized I'm proably boring everyone so just PM if you want to talk bikes


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If only closed minds came with closed mouths. Lau: "But where would they put their feet?" Postpaleo: "Up their ass."