The Dino-Aspie Ex-Café (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

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Yeah...I just finished watching her videos and they are really good.

It's funny you mention the anxiety and depression,etc because I had originaly mentioned them in my poast and then deleated that part because I didnt feel I explained it well enough. I will try again,lol.


I don't think those are syptoms of aspergers...I think they are symptoms of having aspergers at this time in history and this society. Since I dont know other time periods,other families,other cultures...I am speaking theoretically but it seems logical to me that many of the psychological problems some of us(most)have is trying to function in a hostile environment.Would I have been depressed if I had a family that loved and excepted me in a society that didnt burn me at the stake literally or figuratively for not wanting to socialize? How about a society that had jobs that allowed me to persue my obsession. Is an aspie who is born in a moneied family and allowed to be "excentric" as depressed as some one who has to create a fake persona to get a job.How about a male who is born into a culture that he already had a prearranged marriage....as lonel as one who can't get a date in our current competitive culture?

Just some thoughts. I wasn't happy child(mostly because I was constantly being told how NOT to be me and not allowed to persue my interests) but I wasn't depressed until I began to realize that I did not fit in and began to care that I didnt...around 16. I do wonder how much of my depression is from bad chemistry and how much the stress of living in this world caused bad chemistry.Might seem like a semantics but when it comes to trying to figure out how to have the healthies happiest aspies...maybe it's important?

About the videos...my favorite was the one about reading body language...I recall laughing during it but can''t remember why.

Actually, Joanna was his first "known" victim and she was 16 and a schoolgirl.

He's on trial for killing Summer Baldwin who was in her young twenties, the third victim they can realistically attribute to him. There's one that was in between Joanna and Summer, Jennifer Wilkerson, who was also in her young twenties when she disappeared, who has never been found. He'd obviously done it so many times that way that he got sloppy, and got caught. Had the sanitation worker not happened to see the suitcase on the pile of debris, before the bulldozers covered it over, Summer would still be in the landfill, that creature would still be walking free, and there's no telling how many other girls would have ...vanished.

In both Joanna's and Jennifer's case, the girls just disappeared. Left behind their keys, cars, money, cell phones, everything. They know he met Joanna in a local mall, and later communicated with her online. She got a cellphone call from him about 3:00am, the time they think she left the house before he killed her. And stuffed her in her suitcase. She was mumified when they found her - remarkably well preserved. They could still see his fingermarks, after two years of being buried in the landfill under tons of trash.

The general consensus is that Jennifer's also in a suitcase in the landfill, but the city won't dig up the landfill looking for her unless they have a "solid" confession from him. I dunno, three young women who are about the same height, same build with red hair, all go missing within a few months of each other in the same small town in Texas, and two of them end up being found in suitcases in the landfill and connected with RR.... Hmmmm, gee, I wonder where the third one is?

I thought the buying a couple of combo meals and renting a video to play back in the hotel room after napping after killing Summer was a nice touch. Guess he worked up an appetite.

It gets better. While he was on the run, when he ran to San Antonio to his daddy the lawyer's house? First thing he did the next morning was log on his computer and check the local TV station website to search for news about the murder. Then he visited "social networking" and dating sites. He went back online later in the day, to do more surfing to see what the news was reporting about finding her body in the landfill, then went back on "social networking" sites. If they hadn't found Summer, by accident, in that landfill, he'd have taken out more young women. God only knows how many he killed before the three....

All the hitch hiking I used to do,all the 3am walks,all the strangers houses I used to go into because they had a beer party,all the times I slept under bridges and in abandoned house,all the guys I went home with.....all alone...and I know I am not the only one here to live like that...how did we survive?As hard as religion is for me to understand,I do sometimes wonder how I averted disaster when it appeared I was courting it? Easy to say...God looks after the innocent and the idiots,but we know that is not always true....not for these girls.

It hurts my brain to try and figure it out.

Quoting krex:

That was one of my favorites too. In fact, so much of what she said about the lengths she goes to in trying to make her self understood sounded like what goes on between me and my husband. I decided my husband should see it and maybe he will understand me a little better and not get so frustrated (angry) with me when I try to explain something to him and always wind up feeling like he just doesn't get what I'm saying no matter how I explain it. So I waited until he was fed - he's grouchy when he's hungry - and then I asked him to watch it. He was watching Cops, so I didn't think I would get his full and genuine attention, and said "are you sure you are going to pay attention to this, cause if not, please don't pretend your interested. He watched it and when it was over I asked him if he knew why it was relevant and why I wanted him to watch it. He said, "Yeah, cause last night when we were watching that autism show (Autism the Musical) and I asked you if those people started their own school because that guy wanted 420.00 an hour to teach the kids you said you didn't know what I was talking about and I said how could you not know what I'm talking about. (He actually got mad at me cause I didn't understand what he was talking about. For good reason. He had it all wrong.) ( ..didn't mean to get so deep into this, but my point is coming.) I said, "John, first of all, that guy was not a teacher, he was a lawyer who charged 420.00 an hour to represent one set of parents who were trying to get specialized education and assistance for their kid in the gifted program when the school had already turned them down. It had nothing to do with the rest of the kids in that show. They probably don't even all go to the same school." He said "Then why were they all together in that school?" I said "They were together because one of the mother's decided to put a musical together about autism by autistic children." I wanted him to watch the video because she (aragonpr) was urging parents, spouses, friends of people with asperger's to ask straight forward, respectful, non-confrontational questions for clarification. I wanted John to see/hear what she said because we have so many arguments because he doesn't understand me and I don't understand why he doesn't understand me. But -- he didn't get it, may never get it, and I'm just going to have to learn to live with that reality and try to stay calm.

Sorry for the rant. And it ain't even over. I'll be up half the night trying to make sense of it all and figure out ways to cope. What would I do without all of you.

What would I do....well....not get married for starters.For some reason I dont expect as much ftom my BF as I would if he was my husband...words carry a lot of power for me and that difference makes a difference.

For some reason(childhood?)I never think anyone will understand me and it is actually a pleasant surprise the times it seems to occur...usually by someone on WP. I have very "limited" expectations from my BF. He doesn't have to "get me" he just has to not tell me to be some one I am not. I think it is because he is aspie but he just seems to not care about much other then getting sex a few times a week or month and watching some movies and talking about politics,news,movies or books....he is unemotional about all of it....I've never been with anyone else like that and it is nice for me.

I guess the point for me is that I have less need for him to totally "get me" because he just doesn't seem to think bad things about whatever it is he thinks I'm doing or saying. He says it's because I'm the sanest person he has ever dated...weird huh?
I would like him to be more interested in aspergers but he just doesn't seem to think it's important and I guess as long as he keeps liking me the way I am...it's really not.


I pperate from the basic premus that humans are crazy and not very logical.....it either makes me cry or laugh but lately it's been more laughing then crying.

For me it people that I work with that don't understand me that makes me feel like screaming.The fricken dogs have better common sense,compassion and logic then my co-workers.So I just try and hang out with them as much as possible...they "get me",no misunderstandings...I read dog,they read aspie.It's keeps amazing me. I can tell that other humans confuse them but they are much more patient with the stuipid humans then I am...they just keep trying to communicate with them...I gave up.

Lurking

me, too.

I was a little frustrated earlier. Has anyone here ever found themselves accused of snooping without even trying?

I was just curious. I cannot tune out background, and as a result, I heard one of my coworkers saying something that bothered me. When I brought it up to her, she asked me things like why I always listen in on her conversations. I've told them before that I cannot tune out background noise.

This time, she was telling another girl that she was getting a lot of attention on account of being big. All I said was that I try not to notice those things (wanting to ask that they be said in private).

I will admit that hearing five or six conversations, background noises, and two different forms of music at the same time usually bothers me.

Anyhow, I was wondering if anyone else deals with hearing tons of different things at work? And if that ever gets them in trouble when they hear something that rubs them the wrong way?

When I'm having one of those "miss" days — misbegotten, misunderstood, misanthropic, etc. — nothing is more appealing than the idea of retreat to some snow-locked cave high in the Himalayas, or maybe the hushed, leafy surrounds of some remote forest monastery. Then I snap back to reality ("Mum! I can't find any clean school shirts!"), and I pop a couple more headache tablets, and soldier on.

And to answer your question, morning_after? Yes, it gives me the irrits something ferocious when too many people are talking at once, and the TV is up loud, and the sound from someone's Metroid game is groaning away in the background, and... yeah.

Yes, SleepDragon, there is nothing that pulls you back to reality as quickly as responsibilities to those who need us. I agree. Sometimes I just find myself whining, and then later, I say to myself, look around you idiot, count your blessings, there is so much suffering and anguish going on all over the world, how dare you grumble and whine over what amounts, in reality, to nothing.

And, Morning_after, I have to escape to somewhere when I'm surrounded by all those voices coming from all directions, TV, video games, and topped off by the high-pitched constant chirping of two parakeets, that rises above all the other noise like the final insult to my ears and nervous system. I think I've got to get an ipod and keep it plugged into some music that I really loved. I must do that. Maybe that would work for you as well.

After only two hours of deliberation, a Randall County jury found Rosendo Rodriguez, 28, guilty on two counts of capital murder. Rodriguez killed Summer Baldwin and her unborn child in a Lubbock hotel room in 2005. A Lubbock medical examiner testified that Baldwin may have been alive when Rodriguez stuffed her body in a suitcase, and tossed it into a dumpster. Her body was found in the Lubbock landfill the next day. Following a short recess, the jury will begin hearing testimony in the punishment phase of the trial. Prosecutors are requesting the death penalty.

~~~~~

I would assume they'll have the punishment phase finished by late this afternoon. If he gets life, he'll die more quickly and painfully once they put him in the general prisoner population down in Huntsville. If they give him the death penalty, they'll keep him in a protective area and there will be about 10 years of mandatory appeals until they finally exterminate him. Either way, he's over.

Too much tune-up topic

I have learned over the years to try to focus on something else when I hear this crap, because it got me into trouble when I asked a co-worker what another co-worker was talking about, because i did not understand it. Then I am accused of gossiping. NTs can be a cruel bunch. I am glad I can be employed where I can work alone.

Didn't think it possible, but it's gotten
worse. He's been working up to this for years. Monday's gonna be a bad day.

I think for some of the females raped by this person,they will be feeling a great deal of relief to know he is behind bars and perhaps will be off the planet eventually. Knowing that he is no longer a physical threat to them(and that always seems to be there no matter how irrational it would seem that this person will come back and get you)they can now go onto really dealing with the PTSD that usually comes with rape.

I was just in the shower obsessing about one of my obsessions....do I have aspergers?(I love shower think time,even though I hate showers)...

I was thinking that it was "odd" ie doesn't fit the stereotype of Aspergers,that I love to read fiction and have always been interested in people...just not in "real life" much.

Thought maybe I could get some input from others on my thinking.


Onc apon a time I loved nothing but rocks and bugs.Then I learned to read. I did like to read the dictionary and "sciency" things but I also liked fiction alot.I liked books that had people in different times and countries(still do)People that were "odd" and I could relate to.As I got older (and stopped drinking)socializing became a matter of....am I likely to meet any one with the humor and interest that the people in my books have. The oddest were against it. The only real reason I ever went to social venues was to look at guys and hope that one would fall in love and come home with me. After I got sober,the odds of that happening became almost nil as well.

So I was wondering....are people like bugs and rocks to me.I look at rocks because they strike a cord of beauty in me...like guys. I want to take them apart and see how they work...like bugs. I observe but are they "real" to me.Even thinking this makes me feel "inhuman" but I just thought I would see if others ever thought like this?Am I being clear?Not sure if I'm explaining it right.

On an Australian sketch-comedy show, there was a sendup of the "backpacker accepts ride from serial killer" scenario. "Hop in the back, love! Here's the rope and gaffer tape, tie yourself up, haven't got time to do it meself." And the lass jumps into the back of the pickup truck, nodding in greeting to the dozen-or-more young hitchhikers, gagged and bound, who are already there. Laughing at knifepoint once again....

Xan wants me to buy him some skull-crusher headphones (as he calls them) so he can shred his eardrums with Slipknot and Trivium turned up to 11. I'll have to get a second pair for myself and play white noise and pink noise to blot out the annoying racket.

Speaking of soothing white noise, isn't the shower just the best place on earth to zone out and think inspirational thoughts? Pity about this drought business, really puts a crimp on doing that. Krex, I've always preferred to get my info in text form. Everything is more tolerable when it's in words on a page or on a screen. Even watching videos of people talking is too much for me sometimes. So, while I enjoyed watching one or two of Aragonpr's Youtube videos (yes, she is indeed articulate, pleasant-spoken, intelligent and thoughtful) I might wait for the book to come out.

Yay! I'm not the only one who has wondered if her view of guys was normal!!

I love people, but not in the way that an NT loves another person. I am attached to my kids, my parents, brothers and a few friends. I know I love them because I get a warm feeling when I think about them and I get very protective and motherly towards all of them.

As for everyone else, I observe them, I learn everything I can about them. I find them fascinating whether they are nice people or not. The human condition is one of my favorite topics to ponder when I'm knitting. Men especially. I find there have been a few that I was genuinely concerned about the rest were a perseveration. I learned everything I could about them and when I was done, I wanted nothing to do with them. It isn't physical or emotional. It's like a hobby. And I haven't been all that proud of it, either.

At least now I understand why I am that way. In Tony Attwood's book, he says that girls and women study people to learn the social skills they need. Maybe that is something that carries on through the life span of some women with AS.