The Dino-Aspie Ex-Café (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

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Wasn't me, but I can explain it and I'm sworn to secrecy. It's all perfectly logical. If you only have one sox, you only need one shoe. What do you do with only one sox? Keep it? Well of course you do, but only up to a certain length of time, that part is different for everybody. Apparently this person or personage or revolutionary terrorist cell *smirk* decided to make a statement about the one sox, the dryer ate it, it's not my fault syndrome and now I have only one shoe because my mother told me to wear sox with my shoes and keep them tied. But what is the statement? Well it tied up traffic and what do you do when you are stuck in a traffic snarl? Well you might take pause and look down at the one shoe on your foot and wonder. Hell get out of the car and you might find it, but don't look for the sox, cause I used it for a kite tail or is that tale? I can never keep the two straight.

Turn out all of the lights, close all of the window blinds and get dressed. There, how does that feel? Feel ok? If it doesn't, you might have your jock strap or g-string on backwards, no problem, don't wear one or both at the same time. Good, now you've got it. f**k em. Saves time too, you only have to tie one shoe and it's rough enough with one, in the dark. Personally I just Duck Tape (TM) them to my feet, lasts a good week before I need to change the band aide. Don't have to shine them either. I'm thinking of an all Duck Tape (TM) shoe. It comes in colors now you know and buy a few colored Sharpies for designs and the potential is staggering. Hell you could even shower and not have to take them off.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAyBBwjWp4A

ah! Minny Mouse shoes!

Merle

What design did you have in mind? Like this? http://www.instructables.com/id/Duct_Tape_Shoes/. Or this? http://www.instructables.com/id/Poor-Man_s-Duct-Tape-Shoe/

Put the money you save into this stylish wallet:http://www.instructables.com/id/the-Ultimate-Duct-Tape-Wallet/

Last edited by Gromit on 12 Jan 2009, 11:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

One for Merle:
"Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element, dubbed Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron , 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by the fundamental force of morons, which are gluon-like particles transformed by vast quantities of lepton-like tax particles taken from peons .

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected by the retarding effect it has on any surrounding kinetic action. A single atom of Governmentium can slow a reaction (that would normally take less than a nanosecond) to years or even decades.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In so doing, Governmentium's mass actually increases, since each reorganization causes neutrons to become moron-neutron isodopes . This characteristic of moron isodope promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium forms spontaneously whenever morons reach a critical concentration, defined as critical morass.

When catalyzed with large enough injections of fiscal tax elements taken forcibly from peons, Governmentium corrupts into Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element with even more energy absorption and chaos creation ability than Governmentium, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

(The leading hypothesis is that these two elements form the black holes found at the center of each galaxy)."

speaking of governmentinium, anyone noticed that the Department of Homeland Security and the FBI are hiring like mad?

ooo, ooo, ooo, the kid just did a lateral slide and punt! very smooth and it wasn't expected by Dracula (or me!).

now, about cheap flights back to london. i think virgin flys out of LAX, and a rent-a-car is only $35 a day to get to LAX.... must find out when the rainy season there is and avoid that....

Last edited by Nan on 12 Jan 2009, 8:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I can't believe I didn't post my sig. line for Chuck!

A classic move, yet still effective when executed with grace and style.


Wait! How about the initiation to adult life? There is a ritual to be observed. Don't know how they do it where you live, but here it goes like this. Parent says to offspring: "Offspring, now that you are all grown up, you must learn the facts of life." They go on a long walk. No word is exchanged during the walk. Parent finds a spot of spiritual significance, a clearing in the forest, maybe. There parent lays a hand on offspring's shoulder, looks deeply into off spring's eyes, and says: "Everyone has to pay income tax.

Then you can release her into the wild.

Oh, and you can throw away the white nightie. Give her a clove of garlic, a stake and a hammer as a present. And I'd like to offer my congratulations on a job well done!

Already did the taxes one, last week. Told her she at least only has to file a 1040 EZ and at her income level they'll be free online.

Last edited by Nan on 12 Jan 2009, 8:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I was never worried.

I knew your daughter, loving Goth, would know how to deal with a vampire. Lured Drac into the light, then hit her with a silver right cross.

I'd have blown it. I was thinking, "Use a silver bullet!"
Which, of course, will only stop a funny tasting clown.

drac has a glass jaw, apparently.

Second Law of Thermodynamics: If you think everything is screwed up now, wait a while longer....

SHUSH!

HEY!
you edited out WHAT HAPPENED!

(pout) .

Merle