The Dino-Aspie Ex-Café (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

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Well, I live in North America, in the States, and from what I understand nobody here knew about it until Lorna Wing wrote a paper in 1981. I was living as a hippie in a rustic existence on some flood plain of a river in Southern Oregon at that time and I didn't have electricity, let alone someone that read Wing. It really didn't get in people's consciousness until 1994 when a psychiatrist at the college I was going to decided I had 'mild cyclothymia' and ejected me from therapy.
I blundered along, like I always have, until I heard a radio program with a segment on Asperger's syndrome and I thought "Hey!, that's ME!" and it only took me two years (and I have health insurance, too!) to find someone that would evaluate an older adult. Mostly I got, "well, you have learned to live with it, why bother?" The test was the same one we take online and the URL link is scattered around WP in many places, I am sure. I got the same score at the psychologist as I did on line. The shrink didn't think it was a big deal, though and wanted me to get treatment for my co-morbids because (and I agree with him here) they can do something about those!

so, that is my mundane story about AS, even though the condition resounds throughout my life, my DX was just another thing I was on my own with and blundered through.

Merle

Yeah, the basic problem was that Asperger's original work didn't get much publicity (then again, neither did Kanner's work on autism), and in the post-WWII era pretty much anything that had emerged from Germanic countries since Freud was disregarded (broad brush stroke, I know, but inaccurate only in detail, not in general). Then between Bettelheim and his "refrigerator mother" garbage, and Skinner's behaviorist claptrap (which assumes at base that all human beings are essentially identical, and vary only due to conditioned response - and they say we have no theory of mind!), it all got pretty well lost until Wing ran across Asperger's papers while working on her doctorate in psychology. Wing's paper was published in 1981, but it took until 1991 for the ICD-10 to include diagnostic criteria for AS, and until 1994 for the DSM-IV (the document most widely used in the US) to catch up. Then there was the time needed for the whole thing to percolate into the psychological community, which is often resistant to change...

I'd first heard about it when my elder sister read an article in Newsweek in 2002, on what they referred to in the title as "Geek Syndrome". Reportedly, she finished the article, looked at our mother, and said, "So that's what's wrong with Jon!"

I am familiar with the principle that anything will go down if only the mustard is strong enough, but why smother an innocent haggis? They are unjustly maligned.




Even the Scots! What is the world coming to?


How about a haggis pakora? Same principle as the mustard, and it is reliably rumoured that they are being made in Scotland. Of course, you could try to chase down a chili muffin...

But really, I think I can guess what the problem is. You are all carnivores. I have eaten vegetarian haggis, and liked it. You may say it's cheating, but I say I got it in Scotland, it was not from a tourist shop, it said haggis on the label, and the stuffing is the same. I say it counts.

If that does not change your mind, will you then have that Stonehaven delicacy, the deep fried Mars bar, or other confectionery of your choice?

The source given is:

Deep and crisp and eaten: Scotland's deep-fried Mars bar
The Lancet, Volume 364, Issue 9452, Pages 2180-2180
D.Morrison, M.Petticrew

To my great regret, I am unable to access this august publication, to verify the accuracy of the quote.


My first encounter with the topic of ASD was a book a colleague said I just had to read. I never knew whether that was intended as a broad hint. I thought it was a hint when a psychologist said to me:

Very tactful, I thought, gave a straight answer to the question and left it at that.

Ah, you don't like Bruno? (heh heh)
I'm drooling...I wish they'd quit ringing that darned lunch bell! Mr. Skinner, you and Mr. Pavlov can leave now.

Interesting. I saw, I think, the same article. There were a lot of little hints here and there that I'd run across. I ran across an online test that just screamed "yep, you're one" and also had been speaking to a therapist about being depressed (long story, it was more about the kid than about me) who suggested it was a very strong probability when I'd mentioned it after speaking with her for a few hours (not at one time!). So, that's pretty much it. I identified it, and got a verification from someone who's supposed to have a clue.

I don't think many adults, and especially adult women, were looked at for this even after it was acknowledged formally as "existing" as a condition in the mid 1990s. It's only really been about 10 years since it got out into the "therapy world mainstream" and even then, the emphasis is on children and, potentially, young males from what I can see.

My family has generations of "odd" kids. We've known something was up. Some were so strongly impacted they were institutionalized, some just lived in their mother's basements all their lives and tinkered with machinery/electronics/computers/whatever, and some of us are out in the workforce swimming upstream. The family even had a special term for those of us who it identified as being "one of "those" kids" - we were called "sensitive" because we were almost uniformly very bright. And spent a lot of time in tears for reasons those around us just never could quite figure out.

Oh, well. Hope that answers the original question. I quit counting my age when it hit fifty. Better than having to stop when someone asks and say "what year is it now? and doing the subtraction in my head in front of them...."

Last edited by Nan on 15 Apr 2009, 3:16 pm, edited 2 times in total.

It's because they've hunted down a poor wild haggis, stuffed the ground-up innards [ick!] of several other animals down it's poor throat until it is almost bursting, and then boiled it until dead. I mean, how barbaric is that?

Oh my freaking gawd, lauri! Can't you appeal that? That's insane!! ! Isn't there an ombudsperson or something who can fight this fight for you? Of all the things to ask an Aspie who doesn't like travel to do! (As it is, the Kid was a mess for the first 48 hours we were on the ground in the UK when we went. She started melting in the airport on the way home, too! - and she LIKES to travel!! ! I won't even mention the state I was in, other than I couldn't remember things from moment to moment for several days there. Like where did I just put my bus ticket, etc.).

Yeah, I was very disappointed about Ireland. But you can take the ferry over from the UK if you want to see the few things that are there to see. I've just been looking online, actually, this morning. Southwest Airlines is starting a new route from Boise to Boston. I know a lot of the "Ireland" special fares run from Boston to Dublin/Shannon. Southwest was advertising $99 each way to Boston.... When looking for airfares, I have actually found the best fares by going directly to the airlines' websites. I tried Orbitz, CheapFlights.com, etc., and they have never been lower than what I've found online at the airlines' web sites. The catch is, the really REALLY low fares are nonrefundable, so you need to be sure to buy travel insurance (which doesn't cost much). Good luck with that. It is definitely cheaper at any time other than high summer.

On the Rehab services. She has to call them and go see the lady in person. We've had the notice for a week and no call has been made. She hates calling people on the phone. Oy. This is getting damned old. Hopefully voc rehab can do more for her than I can do with all this. I'm worn out and out of ideas.

Last edited by Nan on 16 Apr 2009, 2:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'd just like to point out that as many Scots actually share the above view,haggis was
understandably replaced as our national dish.That accolade was taken over a couple of decades ago by Chicken Tikka Massala,which I believe was invented in Glasgow by a Bangladeshi chef.

well, . . .

Dr. Attwood said that during the second World War, the Gestapo came for Dr. Asperger, but the Hospital Director pulled some strings because he said his 'work was too important' to be executed for experimenting with autistics. So it almost wasn't.
there would have been more information but after WWII, Dr Asperger's hospital burned down along with all his notes, so what we do have to go on is painfully little.

Merle

Thanks for sharing all your stories with me, what an absolute genius lot you all are- I have so much swotting up to do

I have to confess that Glasgow is the home of the terrible diet, haggis pokora is available round the corner from me, I`ve never tried a deep fried mars bar but I am sure they exist- and we were curry capital of the uk for three years running! We do have our fair share of posh places too though. I live in the West End which is very expensive and bohemian- but you can`t afford to do anything there when you`ve got a huge mortage like me - need to downsize!

I hope this aspergers test comes up soon- I am hoping it will be a relief that I won`t have to feel guilty / ashamed / embarassed about being who (not a scooby about that) I am.

I was born into a privileged background and spoilt rotten- I just didn`t feel I had any connection with them, especially my Mother who constanly criticised me. I was very solitary and didn`t make connections with anyone. I went to boarding school at 11 - always got into trouble, couldn`t learn and couldn`t get out fast enough. Then the 60`s happened and that was definitely for me, I was part of a mobile hippie commune- we travelled round the north of Scotland in an old hearse! (Merle, we have to talk!) I still didn`t have any friends. From then on it was one drama after another, married an alcoholic, abused, 2 kids, separated, he died- and it kind of carried on until 2008 when I figured that I was the common denominator for all this s**t, and it`s taken 1 1/2 years of solid thinking to what I thought was what I had- attachment disorder. The realisation that I was different totally changed me and I became a reclusive workaholic even more ashamed about not having friends. I can`t seem to `do` family, I never had the confidence, and my eldest daughter seems to have the same as me. The funny thing is.... I have tied all this up with my work, I have been chairing (which I asked to do) a mental health group for professionals working with secondary age kids, and have arranged training for attachment for North Glasgow and hopefully autism next.
This has been a huge epistle and now I `ll let you get on with what you`re doing!
Thanks for the coffee and Scotch pies (don`t ask- check the ingredients!) (Getting out my laptop- swotting up to do- has this place got wifi?) Now how do you do that quote thing? thanks to you all for listening!

Lurking.. and stimming

Is it part of the test whether you will refuse, or have they never thought to check for logical consistency? They want to test extensively for a condition which has listed, as one of its common traits, anxiety when deviating from routine. They invite a single mother. Have they offered child care for the two days?

Never mind, I know enough of human nature to expect they never thought about logical consistency.

sounds like a typical social services bureaucracy to me.... building on fire at night? here's a match so you can see your way out!

My supervisor was sitting with me while I worked, as she does with all of us from time to time. She was trying to get me to educate members to use our company website that functions like a banking website as you can look up all your insurance claims and how they paid out, rate your physicians, etc.

Well, I had done this once before (pre Dot.Com bust) and had explained myself out of a job - and I told her. She dismissed this as not going to happen to me and that I, myself could quickly earn 'gift cards', did I want to see how to do that? I told her yes, I had done that last year but was not interested in going to Applebees to eat and Target was two bus rides there and two more back and I could only buy what I could lug back with me and she just rolled her eyes and said for the 50th time I could always ask her for a ride when I needed to go shopping - So I again tried to arrange a time to go to the large discount grocery store so I could stock up on low priced basics (no, not an expensive 'Safeway' that they gave away gift cards, a nitty gritty warehouse style shopping experience) and she was mentioning all I had to do was call her, but I had to remind her I didn't have a phone at home (with my salery I have a choice, a phone or internet connection - guess which I choose?)

So I got the well hidden (but still there) exasperated tone when I suggested we make a date right then of when she would be available and now. . I have no doubt that she has to check her appointments calendar, that she wasn't prepared to vere from her managerial task of just listening to me work and making notes, but well, I am no closer than I ever was to her offered kindness.


But it is this circular thing I get stuck in when someone wants to interact with me. I am realizing now, it is my clueless simulation of day to day life that only bobs up on the surface of what other folks have decided is day to day functioning. It is probably because I only see the surface of their 'normality' and that is all I simulate.

That is, I walk like a duck, I talk (usually) like a duck but I am only simulating duck like behaviours. Scratch the surface and my fragile reality is revealed.

Merle

i am sorry. This was my 1st attempt at a blog and i have not done well. I am either stupidly overconfident or crushingly underconfident and i wonder why i dont have friends? I made a fool of myself but didn't mean to make fools of you. I got caught up in a game and had no idea where it was heading. now i know.

I am glad you know, jiller, but you have left me in confusion! What blog are you attempting? Before you crush your spirit by blaming your own shortcomings, please, share with your new friends (who are not quick to leave you) what are you refering to?

then we can help clear it up for you!

Merle