The Dino-Aspie Ex-Café (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

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I am glad I found this thread - as a certified dinosaur at 63 I have had to hold off responding
to various threads because I have no business striking up a conversation on the net with
someone forty+ years younger than I especially a woman.
I sometimes think I have a fair amount of experience strength and hope to pass on
but when I was 15,20,25,30,35 I was not able to listen so I figure learning to keep my mouth shut is maybe
a good continuing education.. but it can be hard.

Crazycat started the original Dino Aspie Cafe as a place just FOR the over 40's that had little in common with the younger diagnosed crowd. So we SELF segregated so we could get to know others like us in a special way. Later the Cafe was moved to "In-Depth Adult Discussion" and Lau started the Dino Ex-Cafe back in the "Getting to know you" section so people just coming into WP could find their own.

So, no, we weren't relagated to the Cafe, we proudly built it, muffin upon muffin, kipper upon kipper. An we have a vast array of Tea, as well, so choose your pleasure and stay for as long as you like.

PS The Cafe has never been "pinned" to a Discussion heading. This means when the traffic here is high, the topic rises and when the traffic here is light, it sinks down and you have to look for it. But in all of it's incarnations the Cafe has been around since 2006. Woo-Hoo!

Thanks Sylkat, now I get it. I also wanted to say I managed to change my avatar to one of my sketches I made on my computer. 'Probably not the right way to do it; but finally got the file size down to proper level on iphoto, and voila. Going now to celebrate with sandwiches & tea. sinsboldly: tinsnips huh, I'll have to try that. Hopefully not too painful. After being in these containers for so long it's worth it.

just pondering:

I moved into an "over 55" apartment complex and I love it! I had the excuse of having a broken arm immediately at move in so I had a GREAT excuse to beg off on all the 'group activities' the other apt dwellers have - fire side get togethers, cigarette smoking/coffee clatches, etc. Now that I am getting better, they have just sorta forgotten to be included, so I am happy being here.

One of my neighbor's children is Kanner's Autistic and the apple didn't fall far from the tree with her father also close to that category. I have no idea how they support themselves, and frankly neither am I curious nor is it any of my business, but the girl - I say girl, but she has to be in her late thirties- has a mentor that comes over twice a week to take her to the library or movies or some such. Papa sits on the porch and feeds the squirrels. I notice them doing something I dearly love to do - sit and stare.

Now here is my issue. Has nothing to do with them, personally, but I find myself budding into some sort of envy that they can just sit and stare. I LOVE to sit and stare, but the laundry doesn 't get done, the dishes go unwashed and, well, of all my personalities to choose from ONE of US has to hold down my job (chuckle).

Have you ever been jealous that someone is allowed to be their selves and not have to make yourself be 'normal?'

Am I even being clear with what I am trying to communicate?

Merle

Yes, I know exactly what you are trying to communicate, Merle. Today I and my Aspie fiance visited a lonely 60 year old Aspie woman on her 20 acre property. She had what I had always wanted; about 20 acres of land and a small home. From the time we arrived, she talked non-stop, and it was all perseverating about what her neighbors had done, how she was shunned at church, and swinging from topic to topic. She did not offer us a seat, or refreshments, and we could not get a word in edgewise. Yet I envied her the freedom to be an Aspie on her own property and not have to impress anyone with how well she could pass for NT.

oh < Hartz! best wishes for your upcoming marriage! How wonderful you found that person you can respect and love enough to give your heart to, too! I wish you all the best!

exactly! I just recently realized why I resent being at my psychologist's visits. I am just there for the drugs that make living in the world tolerable. However she seems to have another agenda. I ask her "why are you asking me all these questions? when I have already qualified through my diagnosis?" and she will say "to make your disorder easier for you" or "so you can modify your behavior to live easier in the (I hear it as "OUR") world. I would walk out with a resentment towards her, and wonder why. Now I know, it's because I will NEVER be 'good enough' as I am and she never talk s to me with out letting me know about it. ( and not just HER, but it seems endemic of every psychologist I have gone to since I have known about AS)

No worries, Sylkat - if mall security ever tries to throw us out, we'll just pelt 'em with Postpaleo's muffins until they leave us alone.

Thanks! We met at an Aspie support group in 2009, and got engaged June 17th of this year.




Your psychologist sounds like a fool. When people get to Dino age, you don't keep pressuring them to change. It's like trying to change a fine wine into a wine cooler! After all, we are sick and tired of conforming. Maybe some people should try to conform to us.

LOL, that's the way, Hartz, make 'em squirm! But I just had another thought. If she wasn't trying to "help" me change, she would only be in my life because the drugs she peddles makes me function.

Maybe I should ask HER for the co-pay?!

Hi,Everyone, But, Deacon Blues, now I've got a walnut/banana muffin craving (heated, please, and REAL butter, not some nasty 'healthy' stuff) or no, maybe a big fat cranberry/orange muffin, no, I think hot cream of wheat with brown sugar.....see what you started?? May I ask, Hartzofspace,is your nom de plume(or nom de Internet) a Douglas Addams reference or does it refer to the record company that specializes in Celtic artists? When I first read your name I naturally pictured Zaphod Beeblebrox and his new toy. Among such an intelligent and whimsical group there must be fans of Addams and Terry Pratchett; anyone reading 'Good Omens', co-written by Pratchett and Neil Gaiman? I feel like the lonely lady on her 20 acres, sometimes, maybe a lot of times, and I talk too much, too; it must have meant the world to her to have company! Reading about the senior complex, I recognized that I feel overwhelmed or 'pounced on' in a 'meet everyone' group situation, as in 'Introduce yourself to the group &tell us about yourself'....I find myself going into one of my social acts or personas; is that , I wonder, what that psychologist is trying to do, teach acting or how to construct a socially acceptable mask? Sylkat

My user name is derived from a music program that I used to listen to on public radio, called "Hearts of Space."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hearts_of_Space

Hi guys. I am a new old person, or an old new person. Not sure, but can I play? You seem fun, and I like muffins.

Hi, Blueper., Welcome! it looks like we might bring some furniture in to the ex-cafe so we can sit around and visit in comfort; when can I bring a couple of hanging plants? would Boston ferns be all right, or would y 'all prefer spider plants? I hope the other businesses in the mall don't get snippy about parking, since the place is getting so popular; I don't drive, so there's one of us who won't worry about getting petty little notes on the windshield! Sylkat.

When the new furniture and plants come, I'll stop by and have crumpets with Marmalade, and tea. Oh, and BTW, I like spider plants.

Sure, bring in any furniture you want. Just don't move the third pile of rubble from the left - that one's mine!

Spider plants are okay, provided they're well-trained and don't leave plant-cobwebs all over the place...

<Genetically engineers Boston fern to produce Boston cream pies as fruit>

Oh, and welcome, Blueper! Never hurts to have another blue person around...