An Introduction...

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That looks like me. Do you like math because it is simple and logical, whereas you are lost with other disciplines because it does not make sense ?

I am not sure what you mean by "college". How old are you ?

Personaly I was like you and then it got worse, because in fact I was running internally to be normal, and I ignored a part of myself. Now I need to take much time to handle all of this. So I advice you to take it seriously (well not too much though), whatever the name you put on it, to take time to consider your thoughts and behaviors, to understand it so you can live better with yourself. If you are lucky enough, you may never have strong Asperger symptoms.

Maybe you have some sexual orientation issues too.

No, I'm very heterosexual. Though some people have called me gay. I also look young, and I don't really identify with the macho-man image. I'm more of a lover than a fighter.

I'm the age of a typical senior at the university level (in USA).

Well, the math I do is not simple (at least for me)...and I go to a top university so it's competitive. But I like it for many reasons. It's the only thing that really challenges me. Other disciplines are really easy for me, except foreign languages. I think learning a language would be very hard for me. Although German seems fascinating to me. I really want to learn it. The only language I've tried to learn is Spanish, and I don't really like it.

Ok. So everything is fine. There's no problem in not being a macho.

For me learning languages was rather easy, except for german... lol

What do you mean by fine? Ya, I usually go to the gym but I have no intention on being like my dad (weight-lifter).

I mean that you don't seem to have much mind trouble that can come with Asperger. It seems to be limited to social interaction and body behavior.

OK. Thank you. Although maybe mind trouble can be more than just sexual orientation.

I was not talking about sexual orientation, but everything you said.

Could you give me some information on what kind of mind trouble is associated with AS? That would help me understand more...

Intense emotions (fear) linked to sound. Difficulty to cope with anger. Difficulty to concentrate for example with sounds. Slowness.

I have difficulty coping with my anger and difficulty concentrating with certain sounds. I don't like certain sounds but I'm not fearful of them.

Nevertheless you manage well in your study ?

I prefer to study alone. Sometimes I need to study with others but it's somewhat difficult for me.

Ok, so either you've been lucky in finding appropriate situations to study, either your Asperger is light. Or maybe you have something else, for example linked to bad relationships you had in the past. But this does not explain uncommon behaviors.

Oh, and do you feel sometimes like you have no ego ?

I don't know. I mean, I don't like studying where it's too bright, too many people, and too loud. I usually prefer my room. I hate libraries (most of them). When I had roommates, I usually ended up studying alone at the library, hallways, outside (although the sun hurts my eyes), cafeteria, and while they were sleeping etc. The more I need to concentrate, the more I need to be reclusive. If I'm studying something easy, I'm not bothered as much.

Do fluorescent lights bother you too? Damn...

Last edited by fishsticks on 02 Feb 2012, 4:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I have the feeling that you are not accepting yourself as you are. You may be hiding it to yourself as well.

Having problem with bright lights is quite common among autistic symptoms.

I don't really know what you mean by ego. I think so...but I don't know. Currently I'm suffering from depersonalization/derealization so I don't know if I can honestly answer that. I also have hypomania which complicates things...