Oh you are definitely asd of some sort.
A lot of social rules exist and people tell you to do different things because you don't understand how what you're doing affects them. Like you said you used to yell at the top of your lungs all day, or the library has to be quiet. Those aren't arbitrary things that people say we should do, they are things that have clear purpose and intent so that the majority of people are happy. Because the majority of people are going to be extremely bothered by you yelling. One way of deciding what's appropriate/right in terms of behavior would be to if everyone did it, would there be problems?
No ones going to make you wash but you aren't at all considering that you might smell like s**t and other people find that smell disgusting. Yes you don't have a sense of smell, but that doesn't mean that when you're in public you should make everyone around you smell you either.
Things like your purging ritual, that's unfortunate that that's not acceptable. However, you said earlier in your post that you don't understand why people are shy, yet why you don't purge in public is the same reason people get shy. There is a fear of judgement, of negative reactions, etc. (Maybe you dont have the fear of the judgement, but you do fear the consequences.)
It's kind of like everyone else has things like the words you can't stand, except there are a multitude of common actions/sounds/smells etc that bother the vast majority of people in similar ways. So when someone tells you those things are wrong, you are encountering something along those lines.
Some of these commonalities that other people don't like are purely learned behavior.
Other things like yelling, f**k it feels good for anyone to yell. The problem is that yelling and anger is inimical to solving problems, and is automatically read as an attack by 99% of people. It creates great sense of fear, uncomfortableness, and is highly distracting for anyone else in the area not involved with it. So yes, if you think it's fine to make random people pay attention to you by being loud, if you want to incite fights or, more often than not, come across as a bully because you have poor and control because you don't think what it means for everyone else around you when you yell, by all means never lower your voice.
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Not autistic, I think
Prone to depression
Have celiac disease
Poor motivation
14 Dec 2015, 8:36 am
