05 Mar 2016, 2:52 pm
I'm a little late, but welcome Danae! 
By the way, are you from Greece (because Danae is a Greek name)?
05 Mar 2016, 5:31 pm
Ha thank you 
No I'm not. But people usually call me Dana (because of Scully, the hair eyes and independent temper or). But my real name is half russian/greek. That I don't use but for legal matters). Dana fits me more whatever. Nice to meet you.
09 Mar 2016, 8:10 pm
Danae wrote:
Thank you very much.
I live in a small city, as far as I know there's only one center of ressources on autism, and it's very mostly, at least officially for children. Their criterias for diagnosis are apparently very basic and from what I've been researching for a couple of years, they're biased. Nothing for female adults.
As a kid they thought I might be Asperger's but it was unconclusive because of things such as I could read early or I was quiet but without tantrums.
I went to that center once and I'm not going back there. The info I find about the subject, news, comes from the US really.
I suppose it is harder to diagnose someone in their thirties and after because coping skills and better just like hiding lots of things. I hear it's even worse to diagnose women.
I've suffered enough throughout all that process. I know it's not depression. I had these traits when I was little. And my twenties, out of school and structure, were a pure nightmare. Just being on the street or in the crowd, it physically hurt and I was unbearable I suppose. I understand why some people don't want to stay around me.
It's still difficult now, but I can focus better. Also it's because I know once I'm home I'm alone and can do whatever I need to cope. I don't see how I could live with someone again.
But I don't want to pretend I'm fine in my own home when I feel like imploding.
I live in a small city, as far as I know there's only one center of ressources on autism, and it's very mostly, at least officially for children. Their criterias for diagnosis are apparently very basic and from what I've been researching for a couple of years, they're biased. Nothing for female adults.
As a kid they thought I might be Asperger's but it was unconclusive because of things such as I could read early or I was quiet but without tantrums.
I went to that center once and I'm not going back there. The info I find about the subject, news, comes from the US really.
I suppose it is harder to diagnose someone in their thirties and after because coping skills and better just like hiding lots of things. I hear it's even worse to diagnose women.
I've suffered enough throughout all that process. I know it's not depression. I had these traits when I was little. And my twenties, out of school and structure, were a pure nightmare. Just being on the street or in the crowd, it physically hurt and I was unbearable I suppose. I understand why some people don't want to stay around me.
It's still difficult now, but I can focus better. Also it's because I know once I'm home I'm alone and can do whatever I need to cope. I don't see how I could live with someone again.
But I don't want to pretend I'm fine in my own home when I feel like imploding.
I hear a weariness and pain in what you write.
You have suffered much and rarely been understood.
More an observer than a connected participant.
Many of us feel deeply without being able to share and feel understood in what we share.
The sensory, the perceptual(ie. your synesthesia) your powerful analytical mind set you apart.
It is so very hard for us all to understand and connect with these NT that run our world.
At least we have each other.
Fwiw, we will will try to understand...you.
Take care
10 Mar 2016, 3:39 am
auntblabby
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10 Mar 2016, 4:03 am
yay another one 
11 Mar 2016, 4:25 pm
Danae wrote:
Thank you so much.
It is hard indeed to sharw anything, and when I do it's harder. I like to be alone but constant isolation can be painful. When I post here it feels less like I'm weird, or not.
It is hard indeed to sharw anything, and when I do it's harder. I like to be alone but constant isolation can be painful. When I post here it feels less like I'm weird, or not.
Many of us can relate to your perspective on loneliness vs isolation...I certainly can.
you are not weird...maybe you're just not used to meeting anyone who can understand
11 Mar 2016, 5:01 pm
11 Mar 2016, 7:17 pm
Danae wrote:
Thank you. I can feel you in a way. Like you know.
I don't feel weird per se, I do in comparison, but it's like that for all minorities so to speak. Sometimes it's just cultural. It's a lot about fear. But I'm afraid too. I try to understand, sometimes I don't have the energy.
Not so well this evening, but I feel "ok" to say it here. Like wanting to get hammered. I miss very few people, but like everything when deep and genuine, it means everything.
What else? Thanks for listening.
I don't feel weird per se, I do in comparison, but it's like that for all minorities so to speak. Sometimes it's just cultural. It's a lot about fear. But I'm afraid too. I try to understand, sometimes I don't have the energy.
Not so well this evening, but I feel "ok" to say it here. Like wanting to get hammered. I miss very few people, but like everything when deep and genuine, it means everything.
What else? Thanks for listening.
Your welcome.
I find that intelligent introverts feel most emotional states intensely...more so even than average introverts.
We think and feel deeply...which has the downside of feeling pain and emptiness deeply.
Your desire to 'get hammered' is understandable...a break-from-the-ache so to speak.
Fear requires a lot of energy to sustain.
So we find ourselves afraid, unfulfilled, isolated, too tired to try, all the while yearning for that deep felt connection that we know is so invigorating and fulfilling.
We desire the profound, the nuanced, the deep passion, the deep connection...we know it can be had...but how? where? and when?...if ever.................
Sadly, hammered only dulls one's level of consciousness and never heals the pain.
But, the need for some respite is very real.
Personally, I binge on knowledge, facts, lists anything....just pound my brain with a flood of learning
Pretty sad....I know.
auntblabby
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11 Mar 2016, 7:19 pm
^^^that was eloquent 
11 Mar 2016, 7:33 pm
auntblabby wrote:
^^^that was eloquent
thank you, auntblabby, for your kindness.
be well
auntblabby
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Joined: 12 Feb 2010
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Location: the island of defective toy santas
11 Mar 2016, 7:57 pm
^^^prego us aspies oughta stick together 
11 Mar 2016, 8:01 pm
auntblabby wrote:
^^^prego us aspies oughta stick together
us aspies oughta stick together We certainly should, I agree
12 Mar 2016, 8:43 am
12 Mar 2016, 1:09 pm
12 Mar 2016, 1:19 pm
12 Mar 2016, 1:54 pm
