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Thanks to all of you.

Last night I was watching Fox News (love that pic of Bill O'Reilly by the way) and there was, of course, coverage about the shooting at Virginia Tech. The report was about the shooter's family saying he was autistic. Fox mentioned this website, which is what brought me here. Today my nephew had Nickelodeon on, and a commercial came on about a report on autism from kids with it which is showing at 8:30 tonight. Talk about irony.

I forgot to mention that my nephew also has ADHD, which was also used as an excuse for many of his AS symptoms. But he's on medication for that, and is learning ways to deal with his hyperactivity.

Ikambokam, I totally agree with you about making him feel loved every day, no matter what. A day doesn't go by that I don't say that to him, his little sister (2 yrs. old, she's with us also), and my daughter. Sometimes he'll out of the blue respond to something I say with "I know why you said that, it's because you love me". That just warms my heart. He's not very affectionate, at least not in the traditional way--no hugs, kisses, I love you's....but he shows it in other ways. Instead of a hug or kiss, he gives creative versions of the high five. When I tell him I love him, he responds with a smile and an "I know". Once in awhile if we're sitting on the floor having a movie night or putting a puzzle together, he'll come up behind me and put his hands on my shoulder and rest his head on mine, or start gently pulling my strands of hair from behind me. Moments like that are better than anything for me. The strange thing though, is that he is affectionate with his baby sister. He tells her he loves her every day, gives her a hug and kiss each morning when she wakes up and each night when we tuck her into bed. He tells his mom he loves her when she calls on the phone, but doesn't give her hugs or kisses either, and never really has. But that's it. It's funny how he can be one way with his sister, but totally different with everyone else.

In any case, I'm taking the approach that he's teaching me how to view the world and life differently. I'm learning a lot from him!

You are welcome!

Inventor--Wow, thanks for the suggestions and insight. I wish I could write more, but I have to give the baby a bath and get her to bed.

All of you are helping me so much!!

Yes people with aspergers often express thier affection differently, when i was younger I did the same things you describe your nephew doing. Keep up the good work, and good luck

Those sound like lovely ways to express affection.

I think a good idea for how AS works in terms of reaction and decision making is that it's largely decided by impulse. This is why it can be hard to have him adjust to things. Often I'll get a chocolate bar out of the cupboard and eat it purely because I felt like eating it.

Hi and Welcome Lorie (keep on wanting to spell it loire),

With things like the hugging, I never used to hug people etc, but now when I am prepared for it (ie they put there arms out and invite me or vice versa) I do it now, there are also times, such as visiting grandparents, where I know it is expected of me. I definitely don't like be surprised by a hug (or any touch for that matter). Having said that, my perspective isn't as useful, as I have no dx, and would be a fairly borderline aspie dx anyway.

With regards to the questions, presuming you tell of him of the AS diagnosis once it happens, you could set him loose on here maybe - plenty of people to answer questions on all sorts of knowledge - sadly, we can't tell him what your having for dinner mind...

The only limit to what you can create with Lego is the number of bricks you own, better start stocking up

This is just off the top of my head, but with regards to the questions, it sounds like he's trying to get you to listen to his opinions and isn't quite sure how to go about it. When my son asks me questions I don't know the answer to, or if his questions are excessive, I'll turn to him and say, "I don't know, what do you think?" Sometimes it stops the questions, as he has to switch mental gears, and sometimes he comes up with the most amazing things! Either way, it gets me out of answering.

Thank you ikambokem, for sharing your own experience with me. It helps a lot to learn more about AS from those who know it first hand. You've helped me more than once, and I so appreciate it.

Thanks KBABZ. It's good to know this, especially right now. I was told something today that I needed to discuss with my nephew, and I knew it would upset him, so it's a big help to get insight on his reaction.

Thank you DingoDv, for your help also. And you are very right about the Legos! Those things are taking over his bedroom, yet there's never enough. I just yesterday took him to Toys R Us to get another set. Of course it's already put together. He amazes me.

Thank you for your suggestion kitrona. I will definitely be trying it tomorrow!

I've been having a good time telling you these things, I like helping others more than many things.

Has he gotten his hands on Lego Technic yet?

Sorry for the blatant thread hijack, but KBABZ, would you say you ahve an 'obsession' with helping people? I find I end up helping people all the time, I'll almost put anything down to help someone, when I guess I should be doing my own stuff - theres just something about doing stuff for other people though... You find it like that in RL too?

Back to you Lorie,
What Lego did you buy yesterday? I did wander into my local ToysR'Us recently and lots of it has changed quite a bit since I really played with it (9 years ago)

I don't think it's an obsession, but I do like helping people because I'm being helpful and it's a way of getting respect (important for Aspies these days) and friendships and stuff, plus I make their day a bit brighter.