B19 wrote:
I parented three children, all adults now. They were all different, and recognising their individual differences, encouraging their strengths, validating their feelings, guiding them through times of stress, et al, created safety for them to grow into their full selves. I strove for a balance of power, empowering them to be their fullest self. That's (broadly speaking) a "humanist" approach. I wasn't an authoritarian who imposed "compliance" demands on them, which is what ABA basically does. I believe children are born with innate personalities of their own, unlike behaviourists, who think it is all about learning after birth, stimulus and response.
Teaching autistic children to be compliant to a stranger adult's intentions has risks I think, personally, because not all strangers are benign. In ABA, the power is not shared; it is all one way, comply with the trainer. That might work with a dog, I wouldn't have done that as a parent though.
Right from the start, each of my children had different innate personalities, different profiles of strength and weakness, so I strove to encourage and recognise their individual strengths, to maximise what was there, rather than suppress parts of them. And it seemed to work...
You would have been a fine parent for me but what about children who are severely autistic.