Had an epiphany after a rude awakening

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I think, Cat, that the high water mark was right when I got here. There was a farm manager, two young farmers who were long board riders, climbers and endurance trails runners, a woman who was trying to set up a hiker's hostel and wilderness education camps and zip-line retreat, a guy who was interning to be a restaurant manager, two retiree innkeepers, a yoga instructor, and a giant young guy who was taking care of the animals and wanted to set up an eco-village. In the course of a month or so almost all of these people fell by the wayside and I had the barn to myself by midwinter, but waves of people would come through in the following years. There have been several "eras" here each with their special set of peculiarities and personalities. (I plan to do some writing about it this winter while I have the time.)

I work alone the vast majority of the time. I wouldn't want to work with other people since the way I do things has so many idiosyncracies I'm better off alone much of the time. A lot of what I do is intuitive and visual and even emotional and difficult to explain, especially for me. I schedule volunteer trail days, but I almost have to force myself to do it, and these are mostly to build the community.

Yeah, you're imagining it correctly. We'd sit at these long rustic tables in the store and eat together. The store chef made us community dinners every night until that whole scene disintegrated. Then I would just eat off the menu or buy food to cook at home, eventually.

The owner owns a handful of rental properties in town and I ended up living in one of the smaller ones across the street from the farm. When I first got here the yoga instructor lived here. To an outside observer, it might look like I'm living a sort of monastic life. I do have the ability to profit off of my endeavors, but I can't conjure up the enthusiasm to do it. I'm too afraid it would wreck the experience. I get two major reactions about my life, either people think I'm out of my gourd or they covet it.

I haven't gotten any formal job offers but I've noticed a big increase in people who want to collaborate, write stories about the place, get involved with the scene, etc. And though I'm not ashamed of the aspie label, I don't want to reveal too much about my location since my boss is a public figure and it would be too easy to figure out my identity. If I do come out, I want it to be on my own terms this time.

Wow, I had this conception of farms being really boring LOL. Your farm actually sounds quite interesting, with all those different people on their own unique journeys. It seems like you found your time in those awful barracks to be worth it. I could also imagine a documentary about the farm and the community surrounding it.

One other question if you don't mind: how do creativity and trail work go together? I ask because you say that the work is meaningful and not just manual labor for its own sake.

My connection to the work and all the unique possibilities got me through (he who has a why can deal with any how, etc, etc) but I don't want to overstate things. It is a pretty nice barn and eventually we drug some mattresses up there and made it quite homie. The noise and the chaos of the situation eventually broke me and that's why I eventually moved into my own digs (I had to prove my worth first, however.)

There is a lot of manual labor involved, but on the whole purpose built mountain bike trails are like dirt sculptures. To make them well and worth riding there has to be a balance of grades, banked turns, curves and swoops, utilization of natural features and creative routing. There's a misconception that all trails just happen, and there are clearly some that do (a deer path, e.g.) but there is a bit of art involved in making a rideable, sustainable, beautiful and enjoyable mountain bike trail. Also I have a diverse role. I do the social media marketing, the planning, the sign making, create and update the websites, help make the maps and I'm starting to develop campsites on the system. It's ideal because if I get weary of one aspect I can easily shift into another and as long as things are running smoothly and the trail users are happy my bosses could care less how I go about things.

I didn't realize all the creative planning that went into the trails. Also, wow, your job has a lot of variety, so I imagine that helps to keep things interesting.

The usual course of action is that a trail builder will draw up a proposal, do impact studies, make drawings, flag out trail, on and on similar to any public works project. Lucky for me the owner has such a seat of the pants style of doing things, I doubt he'd have the patience to do things conventionally and that suits me perfectly

You said that you buy food----how do you buy food, if you don't have any income? Also, why did "that whole scene disintegrated"? You mean, when all those people left?

You said:

"I do have the ability to profit off of my endeavors, but I can't conjure up the enthusiasm to do it. I'm too afraid it would wreck the experience."

Yeah, I can understand that----because you would be obligated, restricted, pressured, have a time constraint, etc., huh?

It is so FABULOUS that you have this kind of work-environment: "my bosses couldn't care less how I go about things"! ! That's, like, every Aspie's dream----I know it's MINE (I can't tell you how many times I've said: "What difference does it make how it's done----as long as it IS?"). I definitely appreciate that "fly by the seat of your pants" mentality, TOO.

I think it's totally cool that you do the marketing, websites, and stuff----all people-free jobs; again, an Aspie's dream. Also, what are your working hours? I ask, cuz you've been able to be on here, during the day.

Are you still building these trails? What happens when you're finished all the ones, the owner wants? I mean, I know you've got a "back-up job", so-to-speak (marketing / websites), but I'm thinking that's not a full-time job (I've done that kind of stuff myself----and, as you know, once websites are built, maintenance is, pretty much, little work).

If you don't mind my asking, in what do you have a degree?

I definitely think you should write a book----you're certainly not a boring writer, that's for SURE; I enjoy it!!

I totally get the "boss is public figure" and "come-out on my own terms, this time".

I went to the website, where you said you got this job----and, got really excited when it said some farms have day-worker positions, cuz I thought I'd DEFINITELY do it----but, unfortunately, one has to pay 40 dollars to even get registered; so, THAT'S out (BUMMER); but, I found-out, at least, that there's 3 in Maryland. (I need a paying job, but it would've been a great experience to do it on days where I don't have one of my what I call "little piddly jobs" [as in, not a "proper" job----like, handing-out flyers, or helping people set-up for events].)

You said you've had some volunteer jobs, before this----but, what of them gave you experience to get hired, for THIS job? Just curious.....

The owner of the farm owns the store (the company store, it's like I'm living in a mining town or something ) so he extends an account there as part of the agreement. I'm allotted a certain amount each month. People left for various reasons. The owner is a super intense guy and the young farmers were in way over their head so they left to live out west and climb which was really more of their calling. The animal caretaker hitchhiked to Oregon to pursue a desire to be a ferrier (I'm not making this stuff up!). The woman got separated from her SO who had to go home to renew his visa. They both came back later that winter to work an ongoing project for the owner (and I can't be more detailed than that or I'll give it all away.)

Yeah exactly, demanding a stipend would severely restrict my freedom and I could do something like charge a fee for the trails but then that would change my whole orientation towards the work. I would no longer doing what was best and made me happy, but what would make the place money. Echh! I accept donations and memberships and sell maps and next season I'm going to open up camping so I'm gradually ramping up ways to bring in funds.

Today I got a bit lazy because the weather was dreary, but regardless I've been working right outside my door splitting wood that I cleared from my backyard to make way for a garden. I'm going to transfer all the wood, a lot of wood, over to the trails for campfires and to fuel a pizza oven I just built at the campsite last season.

There will always be trail maintenance, though it does get more manageable every year. I'm balancing everything out with the aforementioned camping biz. I inherited some large canvas bell tents and I've been clearing sites so people can camp directly on the trail system. The owner is a mad man. He wants a new trail every year. There are two or three potential trails left and when those are finished there's a statewide plan to connect the various trail systems, so that just about covers the next decade.

I was an English major. My plan this winter is to really delve into the narrative of this place and tell its story. I've only scratched the surface. There are so many layers to this farm that it's going to be daunting to bring a semblance of order to it, but the winters are long here.

You could probably contact the farms directly, Cat. I can't imagine a farm rejecting someone because they didn't go through the proper channels. Usually they'd love the help as long as someone is willing to work their butt off.

Oh not much experience at all, just enough to know that I was greatly intrigued. The owner didn't care. That's part of his social experiment. He figures if you put someone in a position that there is no reason that with enough passion and persistence they shouldn't be able to succeed eventually. And most people fail, but he's more than willing to let them. Like a lot of you aspies, I grew up in a bizarro world where I learned best when left alone to figure things out for myself at my own pace and in my own way and that's exactly what this situation allowed me to do. Hallelujah to that!

Oh, I can't BEGIN to tell you how wonderful is your story. (Do you like to read? Your story reminds me of "The Sacketts" by Louis L'Amour. Have you ever read those? I can't get enough of them----the genre is "historical novels". Hey, ever think about a novel, with this farm as a central character----that would be BEYOND COOL!!) An account at the store? Geez, what else could one WANT----your story / life just keeps getting better and better. Yeah, I gotchor wink, regarding the mining town----that's where I was thinking----I was just, mostly, interested in your timezone.

That motley crew that has been there with you, is extremely fascinating----when I checked-out the website, I definitely got the feeling that those kind of people (not bad people), were the ones who frequent the farms; and, since I've always been EXTREMELY interested in the psychology behind everything, I would be in 7th HEAVEN, "studying" all-of-them. Yeah, I definitely am gonna contact the farms, directly----it doesn't give the names of the farms, but their addresses, and I was hoping to find them, THAT way.

So, now I'm super-intrigued, about THIS part: "accept donations and memberships and sell maps and next season I'm going to open up camping". It's almost like it's YOUR land----like, the owner knows-of your plans and is okay with you making money with what you wanna do, and he's not expecting a cut? Whose idea was it, to have the campsites? That is so extremely cool that you built a pizza oven----my initial vision of that, was something like THIS (free-standing, though, of course, and with a raised hearth):



Another model that I pictured, was more like THIS ('cept closed-in and with a chimney):



REGARDLESS----any variation that you built, is impressive. I can SOOOOO imagine what fun it would be, to eat pizza from an outdoor oven, at a campsite (as is suggestive of my name, I LOVE camping).

You said that you'll need to transfer the wood----do you have access to a truck that the owner, owns? Would he let you drive it into town if you needed to, for "whatever"? I'm thinking he WOULD, as I'm thinking you have MORE-than proven your worth, as you say, in the last 7 years.

From where did you "inherit" the "large canvas bell tents"----I'm thinking from those passing-through?

About how long does it take to build a trail?

It's interesting that you've described the owner as "super intense" / "mad man" and "fly by the seat of his pants"----seemingly a dichotomy; but, it further explains why you suspect him of being an Aspie, cuz we're just one big ball of dichotomies, IMO. Sometimes, when people come on here, saying that they wanna write a book about life as an Aspie, or something, and ask for suggestions, my major "campaign" is for there to be understanding about how we, Aspies, can be BOTH "smart" AND "stupid" (eg. we might be able to do the most advanced maths, but can't balance our checkbook; or, we might be able to tell you any number of facts, regarding numerous topics, but we can't figure-out how to use a multi-line phone system [land-line]).

Yeah, I can DEFINITELY relate to THIS: "I learned best when left alone to figure things out for myself at my own pace and in my own way"----it goes-back to what I was saying before, about "What difference does it make, how it's done?".

You said, before, that you felt "blessed"----are you a religious man (as in, do you believe in God)? *I* do----but, if you don't, that's totally fine; I'm just curious.

Sidebar: I read in another post of yours (different thread), that you "count everything"----do you ALSO do math, all-the-time? I'm CONSTANTLY doing math in-my-head----like, if I walk into a restaurant, that has pies on-display, I'll calculate that a third of the pie is missing; or, if I know someone's age, I'll quickly calculate their age of whatever event's year, they just mentioned; or, if I hear on the news something I can add-up / subtract / whatever, I'll be doing THAT. It's, in-a-way, annoying (cuz I can't seem to turn-it-off); but, at-the-same-time, I'm thinking it's a stim, maybe----or, whatever it is / regardless, it makes me happy. I was just wondering if you do the same?

Also, do you ever think in movie or TV scripts (like, if someone says something, does your brain automatically go to where you've heard that line in a movie, and so you answer with the proceeding line); or, do you ever think in song lyrics (same thing----if someone says something, a song with that [or similar] line will pop in your head, and you'll answer, in lyric)? *I* do this; so, I put-up a thread one time, and was, pretty well, shocked, that so many of us do that, so I thought I'd asked YOU, TOO.

Not so much movie scripts, but I am a human jukebox. I'll hear words, think thoughts or hear certain sounds and it'll immediately prime the appropriate song in my head, oftentimes nonstop all day. I often thought that in a pinch I could get a job arranging soundtracks for quirky romantic comedies or mtv reality shows.

Oh yeah. I add numbers as well. I was just thinking today of all the many times I would measure all my solitary activities as a kid. My favorite toy was a stopwatch. I couldn't get enough of logging things and I would hide it in shame like a drinking problem.

Do you want a link to the campsite website, Cat? I'll be happy to pm it to you, but I don't want to put it on public display. I tell much of the story there and also include pictures, including the oven.

Trail building depends on the length and the terrain, but a ballpark figure is 0.15 miles of trail a month. So a typical mile long trail might take me six months to complete by hand. I have to transport wood painstakingly via bike trailer. No one trusts me with motorized vehicles. I don't know. Maybe they have a point.

I'm leaning towards turning my whole experience here into a fable, but we'll see what happens once I sit down to write.

The owner says that they're my trails and he could care less about the pittance I make on them (not his words). In fact the few times I see him he'll suggest ways to turn them into a business so I can make more money, but that's never been my focus. It may happen anyway despite myself

He's self described as ADDHD and that's certainly true. He never stops working or strategizing. Since my revelation about my own condition, I've started seeing many ways he does fit into the aspie mold, but I have to be careful not to overgeneralize. I have a tendency to do that once I acquire new and exciting information. I go overboard and try to fit everything into it. With that said, I suspected that one of my best friends could be on the spectrum as well. I emailed her to tell her about what I discovered about myself and she volunteered that she thought she was there as well. My dad fits the bill to a T, but spent his whole life thinking he was stupid. He has incredible woodworking skills and this is certainly not the case.

I sense spirit in everything. I'm only half kidding when I call myself an animist. I'm some sort of nondescript pagan mixed in with Buddhism. A spiritual mutt, but I can find value in many spiritual traditions except for a few of the more obnoxious ones that I won't mention