08 Jul 2019, 8:59 am
08 Jul 2019, 9:03 am
08 Jul 2019, 9:12 am
08 Jul 2019, 9:21 am
08 Jul 2019, 9:26 am
08 Jul 2019, 3:28 pm
08 Jul 2019, 11:12 pm
QFT wrote:
Hi there,
My only connection to Montana is that, almost 20 years ago, I was applying to Montana State to go to graduate school. I ended up going to other graduate schools though, so I never actually been to Montana. I was always curious what is it like over there. From the internet it sounds like there is a lot of forest. Is it true?
I can sort of relate to what you are saying about being triggered, although I deal with it differently. I guess the photo example wouldn't have triggered me, but the cafeteria example probably would -- especially since you said they plainly told you to leave instead of giving you an option of changing shoes or what not, so to me it feels like "they just don't like me, and shoes is just an excuse". But, instead of going home, I would continue with whatever plans I had -- but I would be in a bad mood the whole time -- and then getting more and more upset with myself about all of my subsequent interactions when I will keep using others as punching bags so to speak. So I dunno, maybe your way of dealing with it "would have been" a good idea: at least it would prevent things from snowballing. Well, not really: missing an event sounds bad too, but I guess not if attending an event is going to just make me look like a whiny loser. But I guess, at least in my case, if I go home that would be a really good reason for me to be bitchy about it the next day, and obsess about things like "when would there be another church event". So I dunno. Can't really give you any advice since I am horrible at it myself.
My only connection to Montana is that, almost 20 years ago, I was applying to Montana State to go to graduate school. I ended up going to other graduate schools though, so I never actually been to Montana. I was always curious what is it like over there. From the internet it sounds like there is a lot of forest. Is it true?
I can sort of relate to what you are saying about being triggered, although I deal with it differently. I guess the photo example wouldn't have triggered me, but the cafeteria example probably would -- especially since you said they plainly told you to leave instead of giving you an option of changing shoes or what not, so to me it feels like "they just don't like me, and shoes is just an excuse". But, instead of going home, I would continue with whatever plans I had -- but I would be in a bad mood the whole time -- and then getting more and more upset with myself about all of my subsequent interactions when I will keep using others as punching bags so to speak. So I dunno, maybe your way of dealing with it "would have been" a good idea: at least it would prevent things from snowballing. Well, not really: missing an event sounds bad too, but I guess not if attending an event is going to just make me look like a whiny loser. But I guess, at least in my case, if I go home that would be a really good reason for me to be bitchy about it the next day, and obsess about things like "when would there be another church event". So I dunno. Can't really give you any advice since I am horrible at it myself.
Thank you for relating what it's like from your perspective. Interesting.
I seem to lack the ability to force myself to do things once the air is out of my sail, so to speak. And that happens pretty much instantaneously for me. I can almost dissociate if it's bad enough. Usually I can escape to relative safety before I have meltdown or cryfest or whatever you wanna call it. Of course, the more I go through life, the more I learn my limits and ways out, so meltdowns are not a common occurrence anymore, thank goodness!
They did offer me to wear other shoes, but I had no other shoes with me. So I was mostly able to not take it personally. However, I felt like a fool, like an alien from outer space, like
who did I think I was to try and engage in this activity anyway?
09 Jul 2019, 12:00 am
MissMary227 wrote:
QFT wrote:
Hi there,
My only connection to Montana is that, almost 20 years ago, I was applying to Montana State to go to graduate school. I ended up going to other graduate schools though, so I never actually been to Montana. I was always curious what is it like over there. From the internet it sounds like there is a lot of forest. Is it true?
I can sort of relate to what you are saying about being triggered, although I deal with it differently. I guess the photo example wouldn't have triggered me, but the cafeteria example probably would -- especially since you said they plainly told you to leave instead of giving you an option of changing shoes or what not, so to me it feels like "they just don't like me, and shoes is just an excuse". But, instead of going home, I would continue with whatever plans I had -- but I would be in a bad mood the whole time -- and then getting more and more upset with myself about all of my subsequent interactions when I will keep using others as punching bags so to speak. So I dunno, maybe your way of dealing with it "would have been" a good idea: at least it would prevent things from snowballing. Well, not really: missing an event sounds bad too, but I guess not if attending an event is going to just make me look like a whiny loser. But I guess, at least in my case, if I go home that would be a really good reason for me to be bitchy about it the next day, and obsess about things like "when would there be another church event". So I dunno. Can't really give you any advice since I am horrible at it myself.
My only connection to Montana is that, almost 20 years ago, I was applying to Montana State to go to graduate school. I ended up going to other graduate schools though, so I never actually been to Montana. I was always curious what is it like over there. From the internet it sounds like there is a lot of forest. Is it true?
I can sort of relate to what you are saying about being triggered, although I deal with it differently. I guess the photo example wouldn't have triggered me, but the cafeteria example probably would -- especially since you said they plainly told you to leave instead of giving you an option of changing shoes or what not, so to me it feels like "they just don't like me, and shoes is just an excuse". But, instead of going home, I would continue with whatever plans I had -- but I would be in a bad mood the whole time -- and then getting more and more upset with myself about all of my subsequent interactions when I will keep using others as punching bags so to speak. So I dunno, maybe your way of dealing with it "would have been" a good idea: at least it would prevent things from snowballing. Well, not really: missing an event sounds bad too, but I guess not if attending an event is going to just make me look like a whiny loser. But I guess, at least in my case, if I go home that would be a really good reason for me to be bitchy about it the next day, and obsess about things like "when would there be another church event". So I dunno. Can't really give you any advice since I am horrible at it myself.
Thank you for relating what it's like from your perspective. Interesting.
I seem to lack the ability to force myself to do things once the air is out of my sail, so to speak. And that happens pretty much instantaneously for me. I can almost dissociate if it's bad enough. Usually I can escape to relative safety before I have meltdown or cryfest or whatever you wanna call it. Of course, the more I go through life, the more I learn my limits and ways out, so meltdowns are not a common occurrence anymore, thank goodness!
They did offer me to wear other shoes, but I had no other shoes with me. So I was mostly able to not take it personally. However, I felt like a fool, like an alien from outer space, like
who did I think I was to try and engage in this activity anyway?If they offered you to wear other shoes, then I guess my situations are more personal than that. Like the example of when I freaked out was when my roommate invited me to the bar and they turned me down due to dress code. But they didn't say "come home, change clothes and come back". They simply turned me down. So the rest of the day I was taking my anger out on everyone I came across -- and I got myself banned from a different bar (that didn't have a dress code) for purposely yelling at a waitress for the way I been treated at that other bar. I guess in case of shoes -- if they were to ask me to change it -- I probably wouldn't be nearly as upset, though.
The most ironic thing about it is that I don't drink anyway -- I just came to the bar to socialize because my roommate invited me to. But, after I was turned down, I started to purposely look for the bars in order to make an argument about that topic, since my ego was hurting.
12 Jul 2019, 6:37 pm
My coworker/acquaintance/friend? had an extra ticket for river rafting tomorrow FOR 6 HOURS and I accepted it. I hope I don't regret committing to a rafting experience for 6 hours, and I hope I don't get knocked out of the raft and drown. 
It's 6 people--her friends/family and it's the kind of trip where you stop and eat lunch along the way. It's really cold here this year, so I might also get hypothermia. 
Anyway, I will maybe post a pic when I get back so you can see beautiful Montana.
13 Jul 2019, 8:40 am
Heading out to raft on this cold, rainy day. I even hear thunder.....
hopefully I will see you later lol.
14 Jul 2019, 11:41 am
14 Jul 2019, 2:21 pm
14 Jul 2019, 2:36 pm
jimmy m wrote:
MissMary227, so how as the raft trip? Did you enjoy it? It looks like you survived because you are still posting and that is always a good sign.
It is interesting that you mentioned coffee. Someone else on the board mentioned that for NTs drinking normal coffee at night is a problem because it can lead to insomnia but in Aspies there is an opposite effect. So caffeine is beneficial for the way our brains are wired. I think there may be some truth in that.
Since you said you are a nurse practitioner, I thought I might suggest a couple good books to read. These are not specifically focused on Asperger's but a related topic. Aspies endure significantly more stress than NTs. Stress is cumulative in nature. Therefore many of the problems that Aspies face in later life is driven by unvented stress that causes the body to become distressed. So it is very important from my perspective for an Aspie to learn how to shed stress. These two books will give you some understanding. The first is called "The Revolutionary Trauma Release Process" by David Berceli. The second is called "In an Unspoken Voice" by Peter A. Levine.
It is my opinion that if an Aspie is allowed to develop properly, they will eventually turn into a nonconformist. The following are quotes about nonconformist:
Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do. – Rob Siltanen: Apple, "Think Different" campaign
It gives me great pleasure indeed to see the stubbornness of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed. - Albert Einstein
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. - Mark Twain
Our wretched species is so made that those who walk on the well-trodden path always throw stones at those who are showing a new road. - Voltaire
Not all those who wander are lost. - J.R.R. Tolkien
You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. - Winston Churchill
Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
A "normal" person is the sort of person that might be designed by a committee. You know, "Each person puts in a pretty color and it comes out gray." - Alan Sherman
The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. - Friedrich Nietzsche
The average man is a conformist, accepting miseries and disasters with the stoicism of a cow standing in the rain. - Colin Wilson
Freedom began on the day the first sheep wandered away from the herd. ― Marty Rubin
It is interesting that you mentioned coffee. Someone else on the board mentioned that for NTs drinking normal coffee at night is a problem because it can lead to insomnia but in Aspies there is an opposite effect. So caffeine is beneficial for the way our brains are wired. I think there may be some truth in that.
Since you said you are a nurse practitioner, I thought I might suggest a couple good books to read. These are not specifically focused on Asperger's but a related topic. Aspies endure significantly more stress than NTs. Stress is cumulative in nature. Therefore many of the problems that Aspies face in later life is driven by unvented stress that causes the body to become distressed. So it is very important from my perspective for an Aspie to learn how to shed stress. These two books will give you some understanding. The first is called "The Revolutionary Trauma Release Process" by David Berceli. The second is called "In an Unspoken Voice" by Peter A. Levine.
It is my opinion that if an Aspie is allowed to develop properly, they will eventually turn into a nonconformist. The following are quotes about nonconformist:
Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do. – Rob Siltanen: Apple, "Think Different" campaign
It gives me great pleasure indeed to see the stubbornness of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed. - Albert Einstein
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. - Mark Twain
Our wretched species is so made that those who walk on the well-trodden path always throw stones at those who are showing a new road. - Voltaire
Not all those who wander are lost. - J.R.R. Tolkien
You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. - Winston Churchill
Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
A "normal" person is the sort of person that might be designed by a committee. You know, "Each person puts in a pretty color and it comes out gray." - Alan Sherman
The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. - Friedrich Nietzsche
The average man is a conformist, accepting miseries and disasters with the stoicism of a cow standing in the rain. - Colin Wilson
Freedom began on the day the first sheep wandered away from the herd. ― Marty Rubin
Thank you for saying Hi.
I guess I am totally a non-conformist. And as you know, it might sound romantic, but how romantic is it to be persecuted, vilified, misunderstood, and excluded? Speaking the truth does that for you, and as Aspies we can do not but speak the truth.
On another note, I also just perused a study about ASD in women yesterday that stated researchers are finding female Aspie brains are more like male NT brains than they are like female NTs or male Aspies. That might be why there was originally a 'male brain' theory, which has largely been debunked. I thought that was pretty interesting, and very accurate regarding my experience.
14 Jul 2019, 4:33 pm
15 Jul 2019, 9:47 pm
It started out to be a stormy day, but ended up sunny and beautiful!
I am the girl in the back without sunglasses on. Photobucket logo pretty much covering up my face.
15 Jul 2019, 10:21 pm
