Hi! I was diagnosed with ASD-1 last week...and I'm terrified
I relate to this so much. The feeling of being broken has followed me my whole life. Why do I lose friends? I'm broken. Why do I feel uncomfortable in large groups? I'm broken. Why did I GED my way out of high school despite being intelligent? I'm broken. Why did I become addicted to drugs as a teenager? I'm broken.
But now, seeing that there's an explanation that can make it all make sense, I want that piece of paper. First appointment is next Friday.
Good luck with your first appointment. Despite all the anxiety and nervousness I felt on the day, it was an important passage. I am still getting my head around what it all means but I wouldn’t be where I am today had I not pushed that door 4 years ago.
Whatever the outcome it will help you get answers. All the best to you.
I am self-diagnosed and will start the process next week. The most important appointment will be on February. Actually I’d be disappointed if not diagnosed. I have been spending the last two months reading just books on Autism and watching videos and all my life makes sense! More than scary to me it’s liberating. There are ups and downs of course, but I feel a brand new person somehow. Although I have told only two people so far, I noticed that people are noticing I am different. That’s probably the effect of unmasking. As soon as it’s official I’ll probably make my coming out. Good luck!
I'm amazed at how common our experience is! There I was, feeling like I was the only one who felt alien, the only one who was undiagnosed, the only one who was sensing that unmasking was revealing a new person underneath, yet we are legion!
And that's a powerful feeling, isn't it?
CockneyRebel
Veteran
Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 117,274
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love
welcome! you are among others who understand. Rely on us for input and empathy, insights and suggestions. One of the best things about getting my diagnosis 4 years ago was realizing I was not alone! There are others "out there" who do understand! What a relief!
_________________
https://oldladywithautism.blog/
"Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect.” Samuel Johnson
For me it felt important and essential to get a formal diagnosis even though I did not get any adaptations as a result. I had felt at odd with everybody/everything all my life. I deeply believed I was broken and needed to be “fixed”. I am only starting to recognise this now, but more than anything, the diagnosis brought me a change in the internal narrative that I was playing on, and more than before I manage to be kinder to myself now.
I almost feel that this should be a sticky, that's how accurate it seems.
Welcome to the forum, WhittlingNick! As you can see, it's very individual how we approach telling friends and family (or even not telling them).
_________________
When the sun rises, look for silent fading stars.
If you need something changed just be specific about what you need to do your job more efficiently.
I told my boss after I retired, and his immediate response was that it was not a surprise at all. I had thought I had been better at pretending to be normal, but I guess not enough.
I was 64 before being diagnosed. Being retired, I don't have to worry about job ramifications (although I guess I didn't have to worry before, if I had only known). So I figure I'll help raise awareness by wearing autism related tshirts in public to let people see that maybe they have the wrong idea about what autism is. Heck, I had the wrong idea about it till I did a deep dive in research after diagnosis.
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Broader autism cluster (Aspie) score: 139 of 200 Your neurotypical score: 60 of 200
Aspie Quiz (v5) 155 of 200 .. AQ 48 . Detailed Aspie Quotient for adults 1,540 out of 2,200 (70%)
RAADS-R Total 192 of 240 Social Problems 91 Circumscribed Interests 42 Language 19 Sensory Motor 40
Meyer-Briggs: INTP Comorbidities: Narcolepsy, NFLE, Alexithemia, Dyspraxia, Prosopagnosia, Anomia, IBS
........................If God meant for us to go around naked, we'd have been born that way........................
And some of us more "out there" than others.
_________________
Broader autism cluster (Aspie) score: 139 of 200 Your neurotypical score: 60 of 200
Aspie Quiz (v5) 155 of 200 .. AQ 48 . Detailed Aspie Quotient for adults 1,540 out of 2,200 (70%)
RAADS-R Total 192 of 240 Social Problems 91 Circumscribed Interests 42 Language 19 Sensory Motor 40
Meyer-Briggs: INTP Comorbidities: Narcolepsy, NFLE, Alexithemia, Dyspraxia, Prosopagnosia, Anomia, IBS
........................If God meant for us to go around naked, we'd have been born that way........................
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