Newly Diagnosed Age 62

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Welcome. I got the confirmation 12 years ago (at 42) and definitely felt contrasting feelings...like I found an answer key to a long text I could never grasp, at the time kinda overwhelmed.

Welcome to WP

I haven't been officially diagnosed with autism, although I have been previously diagnosed with bipolar 2 and ADHD. I'm 53.

I've hit a very low point in my life revolving around my marriage and a series of traumas that have occurred over the last few years involving loss, health and having to file bankruptcy. It's been a lot. So I've been back to seeing a psychiatrist and am back in therapy as well. Only started that a few weeks ago and none of them have suggested autism as an issue.

But I have always felt different, had difficulty socializing, making/keeping friends, and lots of other seeming "quirks" that have caused me to tell my therapist that I feel "fundamentally broken" -- I just don't seem to be able to function in the way everyone else does. I was completely ignorant about the autism spectrum. In the past couple of weeks, by random chance, I discovered that a lot of the things I've thought were "wrong" about me seem to really line up with the autism spectrum. One youtube video that came up in "for me" by a techie caught my attention and ever since I watched that I've been going down the rabbit hole and having a lot of "that's me!" reactions. I can't wait to discuss with my therapist in a few days to see what she thinks. I'm fairly convinced at this point that I'm somewhere on the spectrum.

I have mixed feelings. On the one hand, it's kind of a relief to have something that "explains" why I'm the way I am, and why I'm so mentally exhausted all the time from the high level of masking I perform daily, and have all my life. On the other hand, it feels like an explanation, and that there are lots of other people that share my challenges, and could even relate to if I knew any of these people personally, it's not going to help me in my daily life. I can't imagine disclosing to work. I want to tell my wife, but honestly, I'm expecting a dismissive eyeroll.

shriekingmonkey, Welcome to Wrong Planet.

You wrote, "I have been previously diagnosed with bipolar" and later you wrote, "I have mixed feelings. On the one hand, it's kind of a relief to have something that 'explains' why I'm the way I am, and why I'm so mentally exhausted all the time from the high level of masking I perform daily, and have all my life."

Let me see if I can give you some useful information. Bipolar in my humble opinion is caused by not being yourself. If you open up and be yourself, you may not have many friends but the few friends you find in life will be true friends.

You are on a journey of self discovery about yourself. You do not have to share this information with others. Some people, for example those at work, may actually try and use this knowledge against you and cause you harm. Just begin to believe in yourself and trust yourself.

This site is named Wrong Planet for a reason. It is because many of us believe we are living in the wrong planet.

Bipolar is caused by a buildup of stress. It builds and builds and builds until it reaches a point and explodes. (When it explodes, you become bipolar). Most people learn how to decrease their stress levels to control this. In my humble opinion this requires two steps. First, you need good sleep each night, a couple hours of REM and deep NREM sleep. Make you sleep environment the best you can make it for deep sleep. Second, you need exercise, at least one hour per day. The more strenuous the better.

Welcome to WP! I hope you like it here.

Regarding whether or not you are on the Autism Spectrum...obviously we cannot diagnose you but we can share information that might interest you:
- AQ is an online quiz that can possibly support your suspicions about being Autistic
- Broad Autism Phenotype is having some Autism traits but not enough for an Autism diagnosis
- There are other conditions that somewhat resemble Autism but are something different
That last one confused my bride when we were trying to figure out whether or not I was on the Autism Spectrum. She noticed that she had many traits of Autism! However, I found this chart which clarified what was going on...she is strongly ADHD but is definitely not ASD.

But whether you are on the Autism Spectrum, or not, you might belong on Wrong Planet. It is for neurodiverse folk, not just Autistics, and for folk with a polite interest in neurodiversity. You seem to qualify!

I failed to mention that I did take a couple of online tests, one was the raads-r which I scored 141 on which is apparently a pretty strong indicator, and something called aspie quiz which gave me a score of 136 which said meant a 98% probability of autism.

It makes sense based on everything I've watched/read recently but still having a hard time wrapping my brain around it because this was just not on my radar at all.

Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply, it's very helpful. Physical activity is definitely something I need to do more of. I used to be an avid cyclist but I haven't ridden for pribably a year and a half. I know I did feel better when I was doing it.

And yeah, I have always felt like I am in the wrong planet. Great name for this site!

Then welcome to the Spectrum!

I hope this new personal insight pleases you as much as it pleased me, and some others here.

Tim999 welcome to Wrong Planet.

You mentioned a book 'Authentic, how to be yourself and why it matters' by Stephen Joseph. I tried to find this book. I came across.



Well this appears to be a different author. So I dug some more. I came across



Not quite there yet, but at least this short youtube video describes the book you are referring to. It is mentioned at the very end.

O.K. I think I found it:

Authentic: How to be yourself and why it matters

Stephen Joseph is a professor of psychology, health and social care at the University of Nottingham, UK, where he is co-director of the Centre for Trauma, Resilience and Growth and an honorary consultant psychologist in psychotherapy. He has published more than two hundred academic papers, seven academic books and is the author of What Doesn't Kill Us (Piatkus). He is often asked to comment in the media on topical events relating to his work.

The hunger for authenticity guides us throughout our lives. People strive for joined-up living, where on the one hand what they say and do reflects what they think and feel, and on the other what they think and feel reflects who they are.

Stephen Joseph has pioneered developments in research into authenticity, drawing on the solid science of positive psychology to develop what has become one of the gold-standard tests for assessing authenticity. His and others' findings reveal that when people are in relationships in which they feel accepted, understood and valued, they drop their defences. They naturally begin to examine themselves psychologically, accommodate new information and live more authentically. What's more, the latest studies reveal that it is authenticity that leads to true happiness.

In Authentic, Stephen Joseph presents his fresh and inspiring perspective on the psychology of authenticity alongside practical advice and exercises for the reader. Drawing on the wisdom of existential philosophers, the insights and research of psychologists, and case studies from his own and others' clinical experiences, he shows how authenticity is the foundation of human flourishing - as well as how the ideas relate to debates about the importance of happiness.

Diagnosed of Asperger at 49 (a year ago).
Diagnosed of Intellectual Giftedness at 50.
So both these things make me an 2E individual (twice exceptional).

Having difficulties between the obvious relief and the frustration of all the damage (done and received) in the past which could have been avoided. Or diminished.

paologreco, Welcome to Wrong Planet.

You asked if being diagnosed as Asperger and also intellectually gifted gives you a 2E. Well I think these two qualities goes hand in hand together.

Many Aspies are subjected to torture (both verbal and physical) as children. It is the road we go down. The key thing to know is Trust in Yourself. You have some unique skills that other people do not possess.

I don't have a formal diagnosis but in my 20s an EX of mine pointed out that I had/have strong traits of it, as did my one Aunt who had taught children with mild disabilities for a time. When I was kid I was diagnosed with ADD and put on Ritalin, the proverbial shoe never seemed to fit. It never explained my poor social skills, my abrupted way of doing things, black and white thinking, and lack of eye contact. All the trouble I got myself in and people not liking me but having no clue as to why.

I scoffed at the idea I was autistic for many years but around my mid 30s, I started to realize that it was probably true. Everything checked out. As stated above. I must admit I hate it but I don't blame myself as much for my social screw ups and realized growing up, that some stuff family members told me wasn't true. In terms of " Not applying myself" " Not trying" " being a crybaby" etc...

In any event, welcome to wrong planet.

paologreco, Welcome to Wrong Planet.

You wrote about your differences, "black and white thinking, and lack of eye contact". Yes, that fits the definition. But also believe in yourself. You have some unique skills that others do not possess.

I was diagnosed at 42, now 59. The Dx, was like a moment of enlightenment. I was finally waking up from a lifetime of unconsciously overcompensating for something I could never put a name to. This for me was a time of enormous celebration, but also Disorientation and deep sadness. Like Lazarus, waking from the tomb. Peeling all the masks and adaptations away and learning to live on life's terms, instead of the superimposed life that I lived pre Dx.

Personally, I think the psychic rearranging that goes on post Dx warrents skillful support and the fact that this has not been fully understood and taken really seriously just reflects how far we have yet to go re post Dx help and support.

I wish you well my friend. And all of you here.

Warmly,

Chris.

I wish you well too on your journey through this life.