shrink wrote:
My patient has a lot of difficulty processing sensory inputs.....things feel very intense and often unpleasant, so it's hard to get close to people, literally. Any ideas on that?
Yes and no. This a male view, I cannot talk to some women because the perfume, soap, shampoo, is overloading a part of my brain that has better primal uses. Jewelry, light, noise, moving flashing colors.
It is like going on line, logging on to several sites, opening all my printing programs, Photoshop, with a 16 Mb file, and wondering why there is a long pause when I click on something. Worse, with women each thing comes up, then another, the flash off an earring, a smell, and I stand in dumb silence.
Each one only sets me back a second or two, but all blocks everything. Or course this makes me angry, I mean if you had seen her, and she was talking to me, I had a shot, and then I am projecting anger. Drinking helps the processing, but not the social, and drinking, anger, and becoming mute, are just not romantic.
In the good old days, naked in the cave, I did not have these problems, it was dark, nothing but the glow of coals, the smell of fire blotted out all others, soft sounds carried, and presenting myself to a female, properly arrayed, she either accepted or rejected.
My kid and I have a ritual hug, the parties face each other, and make a hug motion, with the arms, we come together and hug firmly, then break and back off. She did come behind me and put her arm around my waist once, I jumped three foot. It was a very soft touch.
Haul off and slap me, and no problem, I can process that just fine, come from behind and stroke a finger on my ear and fear for your life. Nothing personal, just instant animal reaction. Even when I know it is coming, light touch creeps me out.
Cave logic and sex drive won out. Keeping my distance, wearing sun glasses, the aspie secret weapon, I managed to manuver them back to my place, and my suave seduction was, "Would you like to take a shower?"
It included other agreements. I keep a dark bedroom, no light needed for what we had in mind. Bedroom styles range from tickleing, which I hate, to firmly grasping the female with dew claws, wrestling her into position, and maintaining a firm contact. I never had any complaints. I treated them like wild animals, the mating of tigers, and under the sugar and spice, is an animal. Like the tigeress, once is a full awakening of primal drives, and once is not enough.
A lifetime of conditioning to proper ladylike behavior fell away in a minute. This went on till both were exhausted. We engaged, then broke to lay and pant, keeping our distance, till she showed her teeth and groweled at me. She stalked about the room, circled, snarled, and pounced.
After another shower I took her home.
There are two paths, for most, talk, eye contact, light touching, slowly spreading over other parts of the body, and all this drives an aspie mad. Non-clinical mad, mostly in withdrawal, mood killers.
The other path is keeping distance, looking but not staring, moving downwind and sniffing the air, prowling about, I can do this in a very public place, and no one will notice, except the one at the center of my circles, the one I may not get within six foot of.
It is stalking, the good kind, and messages flow, she does or does not want to walk the jungle trails with me. Hotels are netural turf, an "I like the St. Regis" and she is picking up her purse. What is there to say, so she takes a shower.
Same goals, different tactics. I am not good at small talk, eye contact, touching, do not like to eat with others, but I have my good points. Not being good at the things that define human, I am more an animal that can fix computers.
That is me, compared to other places, the aspie girls here seem silent about their sex lives. I imagine they have the same touch issues I do, and have found some ways to adapt. Cats are very popular here, if that gives a clue.
Outward is deceiving, best was shown by Seven of Nine, who when the Doctor hung around her lab after business was done, she asked, Is there something else?, and he stammered, well I was just, and she cut him off, "Do you wish to fornicate with me Doctor?" He babbled, and she said, "Do you?" She was willing to make him an appointment for fornicating, and from the look of him, would pencil in five minutes.
At least we are not Klingon.
05 Nov 2007, 3:24 pm
