The Dino-Aspie Ex-Café (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

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Blessedmom,I chickened out of the whole parenting thing because I was afraid to become my mother.We do need to keep doing this whole making more of us thing,so I am proud when someone makes that choice and trys their best at it....it really sounds hard.Lucky for you,I have no suggestions,just hope tomorrow is better.

My BF son went through some pretty "mean" years from 12-14 but actually treats me like a human now.I wouldnt want to be anywhere below the age of 30 again.I have some sympathy for both of you.

From what I know about your parenting, you are doing a good job. You are liberal in some areas and tough when you need to be. Stick to your guns girl. You will feel doubts about your parenting at times, but I'm pretty sure you are on the right track.

And you are looking after yourself too by playing here.

A sense of humour is essential in parenting and you've got that!

There! You didn't need to move to the parenting panel. You got it all here!

Yea for Reika!

So - I'm obviously in a dream remembering state. This one's fading fast, but here we go...

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I'm at a convention of some sort. Trying to find my room at the hotel. "Interesting" architecture in the stairwell. Spacious stairwells which are Very "open plan". You get to the rooms by walking out along gangways that are not enclosed at all. I.e. if you're not careful, you could just accidentally walk off them, down a two floor drop. I notice, eventually, that there are routes that you can take, nearer the walls, that have railings. I opt for those.

I get to my room (number 4) and find the lock rather odd. I don't notice exactly what is wrong with it. I have a quick look at the room and decide to go back out for a quick walk (before dinner?). On leaving the room, I have to figure out how to close/lock the door. There seems to be some sort of automatic release system involved. I eventually realise that I have to twist the handle as I push the door shut, to get it to shut properly. There is additionally a "twist to lock" sort of dead bolt on it, which I set, with a little confusion.

On returning after my walk (where did dinner go? - I'm forgetting this part of the dream), I negotiate the odd stairwell again. I meet another of the delegates(?). who is rather "gushing" about how he has managed to get better rooms than anyone else (something to do with appealing about needing them to cope with some disability, that he doesn't really have?). His rooms have a connecting door through to my rooms, which he has opened. He seems pretty harmless. I go through to look at what he's managed to get hold of. Basically, he's got a two room suite as opposed to my single room.

This is where I get interested in the lighting in his rooms. We figure out that he has these "under shelf" fluorescent tubes, which you can either have at full intensity or half. This is because they are in pairs. However, as I look at them, I see that they are horrendously badly wired up. There is no cover over a place where five wires (two red, two black and one yellow) come in and these are push fit into sockets on the fluorescent tube mounting. I.e. five wire plugs into four sockets. One red wire is just left lying against all this bare metal electrical connections. On attempting to nudge it further out of the way, it sparks with the rest of the stuff. To be safest, I unplug the lot. Then I forget exactly how they had been plugged in. I know I want to make one red wire safe, but then I'm unsure exactly how to plug the rest back in.

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After waking up, I figured out that my confusion over the door locks was genuine in dream, but on wakeful reflection, those locks are obviously designed to keep the "guests" IN their rooms.

It was so nice to wake up and see such support this morning. I am about to wake the boys and need all the support I can get. The husband went to bed right after the fun started and got up at 4:00 am to go to work. He doesn't have to be there until 8am.

Reika, thank you. I know we are a hard bunch to get used to. It took me 2 months to realize that Lau doesn't bite and when Merle says it like it is, she does it with friendship always. I had to give up a lot of conformity to hang out here. And I'm so glad I did. (Oh, don't tell Nannarob. You know she works for the Ministry of Conformity and all)

Postpaleo, I have a great deal of respect for you. If I didn't I wouldn't give a rats arse what you think. And I can see the same fire in my son that I'm sure you had at that age. Lord, freakin' help me!! And thanks!

Merle, If that is you in your new avatar, HUBBA HUBBA back at you!!

Krex, There are many day when I look at my screen name "blessedmom" and wonder what the heck I was thinking that day. I love them dearly but I will admit it is the hardest job on the planet. Just when you think you have absolutely nothing left give anyone, you have to find it in yourself to reach wwwaaayyyyy down inside and find just a little bit more. It makes you cry and laugh and sing and scream, but I wouldn't change it for anything or anyone. I'm glad I didn't have the 6 that I wanted but I wouldn't change the ones I have.My husband made the mistake of telling my son that kids can be replaced but spouses can't. Did anyone hear me yelling at him for that one??! ! I hate to break it to him but if I find a new spouse, the kids travel with me.

Nannarob, I do believe that you and Helen have the same beliefs on child-rearing as I do. It gives me hope to see that. I know I am on the right track.

And Lau, I can't comment on your dream because I am not good at reading into things. I do notice that me and the 3 kids that have AS and ADHD all have very vivid dreams that stay with us long after we wake. I think Chuck is right in saying that a part of our brain isn't silent. I'm glad your excited about life again. That made me smile!

NO FAIR, MERLE!! You changed it again and now Chuck, Nan and Postie are going to think I've lost it, again. Where's the hot dominatrix??? And there was a dominatrix there!! I don't just make them up in my head!!

It looks like you've got a lot of safety issues going on in that dream, Lau. Faulty wiring , Faulty locks, Faulty stairwell. No privacy and no dinner to boot. And the possibility of being locked up for your trouble. Very "unconventional" convention. Doesn't sound like a hotel I'd want to visit.

I know you're not hallucinating, Blessed. I saw Merle in her dominatrix attire too.
Hot to trot. And now she's got my boyfriend Bobby under her spell.

Hang in their Blessedmom.My personal theory,based on being a kid not being a parent,is that as long as your kids know you like them as people and love them as your own children....all the "little stuff" isnt worth the toilet paper it's printed on.

Lau...sounds like your trying to make sense of a world created by incompitents and lunatics ie,real life.Have fun with that.

CC have you had a chance ot see "Factory Girl".There is a relationship between her and Bob Dylan that will deepen your love for Bob.(Even though,he said he would sue them if they used his name for this charactor.)

Maybe I should start up a thread: "Lau's Dream Diary".

I decided, a long, long while ago, that dreams were fun. I prefer the really terrifying ones. It's such a relief, on being awake (see below), to find out that it was all a dream.

I'm not too sure if I ever have "nice" dreams. Maybe I don't, or maybe I never bother to remember them.

I certainly get a fair few "weird" dreams (as if you hadn't noticed?). I.e. those where you cannot work out what was going on at all. Just an incoherent sequence of images, plus you can remember your thinking during the dream, but on reflection, you realise that it wasn't in the slightest rational.

Anyway, from 15-20 years ago, try this on for size:

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I woke up in bed, at the top of the house in Port Isaac. The sun was streaming beautifully around the curtains in front of me. I was contemplating getting up, when I noticed that there was something down to the side of the bed. At first I was somewhat surprised that I could not see what it was, but it was terrifying. Then I noticed that I was completely paralysed and I could not even turn my head.

The thing came up from the side of the bed and crawled onto my chest, which prevented me from breathing. I still could not see it. It was invisible. After a while, I woke up in bed, at the top of the house in Port Isaac. The sun was streaming beautifully around the curtains in front of me. I got up.

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So... REM atonia, and/or a bunch of other stuff. Great fun. Brilliant when you finally DO wake up.

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PS. Am I awake yet?

((sigh)) The child woke up with a much better attitude. He apologized and as usual was a little thrown by the anger that came spewing out of him. We had another talk about raging hormones and anger. He didn't understand why I was still talking to him and why I was mad at the husband. I gave him my unabridged explanation on unconditional love and forgiveness. I think he gets it. The youngest Aspie is a different story but he has to adjust to school again and he is so rigid that I am having a hard time teaching him forgiveness. Oh, I pray they grow up to be good people.

Oh, Postpaleo, you are on your own. I saw what she was wearing. She can say whatever she wants!!