BuyerBeware wrote:
This really ought to read, "Why Not To Bother Having An Aspie In Your Life."
Really-- if you have to go to all that adjustment and change for another human being, it's just not worth it.
Trust me. Hubby and I have been trying for years. Every year we get more resentful of each other and more unhappy.
If you're a neurotypical, look for relationships with other neurotypicals.
If you're an Aspie, find a few friendships with very tolerant individuals who don't mind spending the occasional Friday night playing Trivial Pursuit or talking about books or painting miniatures you're never going to play with or whatever. Join a club that serves your interest, and be content to take a passive role. Don't try to have close relationships with people-- you are not suited for it, and no matter what they tell themselves in the interest of wanting to see themselves as good guys, they don't want you.
I'm sorry. I know this is harsh. We have the same right to live as anyone else, blah blah blah.
BS. I wish someone had given me this advice when I was a young idealistic Aspie looking to build myself a life. It would have saved a lot of heartache and trouble. Not just for me. Hubby would have a happy, fulfilling life with a normal wife and four beautiful, wonderful f**ked-up kids would not be destined for a life of suffering, struggling, failure, and misery.
But hell no. People just have to spread their f*****g idealism around...
Come spend a week in my house, and then talk about how Aspies are just fine, Aspies and NTs can co-exist, all that other s**t. It's BS.
Yeah, that’s only applicable if the aspie isn’t trying to put them selves to the side in the interaction. It’s perfectly possible for an aspie to behave appropriately/pleasantly in a social situation, but it’ll take a lot of effort and practice. There’s nothing wrong with an aspire trying to have close relationship with someone, but they’ll need to go against what’s natural for them. That’s why it’s important for us to take breaks.