The Dino-Aspie Ex-Café (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

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Funny you should mention small mouths.... ok, not tiny, but i gots no lips. running joke around here, i never need lipstick. it would be pointless. but it ain't no julia roberts' type maw, either.

and I AM six foot while typing in the Cafe. (Ok, 5'11", but it counts.). and the hair used to be a beautiful shade of auburn. a long, long time ago.

Here's a comparison photo, for a short time only. Back in the spring, when I was 20 pounds heavier. We must be long-lost somethings, ya think?

ah, it doesn't show up very well. have to play with photoshop a bit, i think.

Last edited by Nan on 01 Oct 2007, 9:48 am, edited 2 times in total.

I don't know if it is related but I have small mouth too. I was just at the dentists a couple weeks ago and they actually suggested that I need a small brush even if it means using a kids brush. I know my mouth was small because of the problems it caused with my wisdom teeth but a kids brush? Ok, sure, whatever works.

ya know, there's been this ken burns series on ww2 on pbs all week. i've been wincing through it, getting the kid to watch it, too, as they didn't even discuss it at all in her high school. (she's never studied it in school at all.)

i was doing ok until tonights' two hours. kid probably thinks i'm nuts, i was just sitting there with tears pouring down my face. i guess i could chalk it up to having been sick lately, and the bad reaction to the medication, or something. but damn. insisting on giving the guys a thanksgiving dinner, even if it made them sitting targets. i think it was the bit about peleliu. and how they knew in advance they didn't need that airstrip anymore. but they didn't bother to call off the invasion. i think that's where i lost it for tonight. how the hell do you "forget" to call off an unnecessary invasion where tens of thousands of people get killed?

why are they just now putting this stuff on tv in a serious manner?

They called it propaganda back then, they call it something else now. But when you think of it, they called something else back then too. Unless the other side's do it, then it's always propaganda.

hmmm. never considered my mouth "small" before, but i guess it is because in high school they had to crack the bone and strech the roof of my mouth wider so all my teeth would fit better and the braces would be more useful. there was a little key to turn every week to widen it another turn... and it wasn't the PAIN that bothered me, it was the cracking sound echoing all inside my head/skull/brain.

also mousie, i have similar tickle issues (but i would like it if it was safe and i had some power/control... i used to tickle myself and laugh and laugh when i was little. wow. i just remembered that!) and laugh when i say no issues. and do not understand why people ignore my STOP! STOP! and also i smile a lot when i have to talk to people about things i feel uncomfortable about. i will be blunt/honest and calm voice, but with giant smile, and people criticise me for being unfeeling. i laugh always and the timing is wrong.

Not many WWII vets are still living and therefore disturbed by it. (More to the point - that the powers that be thought would be disturbed by it). The veterans administration voted Saving Private Ryan "the best war movie ever made" this year. Movie makers are seeing that they can make more true to life series and films without upsetting the vets (like Band of Brothers). Vets prefer that the real truth about war, it's effects, and causes be told. All the better if factual history and ideology are portrayed. Not some romanticized version with phony heroics and clear-cut "good versus evil" baloney.

Mankind exists in a grand but tragic drama. On the plus side, we have developed reason which lead to the crowning achievement of our intellect - science, and the unraveling of many secrets of nature. We have figured out that giving an individual equality and the freedom to think and critically discern is a good thing. On the negative side, we have been much less successful at finding rational solutions to social ills and conflicts between nations. We have a frightening capacity for irrational behavior and a fascination for violence and irrational ideologies. We see the value in reason and liberty, yet willingly sacrifice liberty for security or national grandeur, and prefer mental laziness.

The world wars and totalitarian movements of the twentieth century have demonstrated that civilization, despite its extraordinary achievements, is fragile and perishable.

We could learn much, and make advancements in developing better social behavior and judgments, studying well made films. We need to advance in social interaction improvement at least to the degree that we have in science. Sadly, I believe that such films would only serve as entertainment for most viewers.

We Aspies have advanced the world in math, logic, science, art, and music. We haven't helped much in advancing the social direction of mankind - we not being social creatures ourselves. Our absence in that direction shows.

Can NT's do it without our help? The way I see it, humans hardly get along better today than they did thousands of years ago.

Maybe Alex Plank could develop his film career in this direction - to the benefit of mankind.

Our science, misused, will end us all. I have ideas myself that I dare not expose. Fortunately, I have worked for a quarter of a century amongst the general population. I know what people are like. It was a shock to discover. I trust them with nothing at this stage of our collective development. Too many of our good scientists have grown up secluded in academe, clueless to the level of the populace. They need to get out and mingle, watch and observe. Rein their scientific ideas in a little. To think they can control the direction of the knowledge once it's out of the bag is arrogance. In view of our history, it's stupidity.

(Chuck gets off his soap box, and heads for the gym).

i also have an inappropriate smile at akward moments,
had the same thought about it, it might be from copying facial expression of others,
i know i do that, i copy many expressions, from movies, from pictures, from people

so maybe also smiling in situation which don't ask for a smile ?


(me not see picture of merle ?)

Merle is in her new Avatar! (See last page) (Nice to finally see you Merle!)

What you say here Lemon is true for me as well. I used to practice my facial expressions in the mirror - make my face move - practice a smile. Try to copy the expressions I saw.

That made me think - my psychiatrist may be judging my behavior based on my facial expressions, which I may not be displaying correctly. When I saw him I was perfectly happy - had just finished massaging his dog. I was a little confused by his questions and actions, and sleepy, but in no way angry or depressed.

Maybe I meant to be doing this: but was displaying this: mixed with this: just prior to my face falling:

One dental hygienist told me I had the smallest mouth she ever worked on , so I asked the one I go to now if she agreed. She said "not at all" but they did give me a smallish toothbrush, like a child's which works much better for me and fits in my mouth much better than the toothbrushes I have previously used.

Merle, nice to finally see you.

Robyn, welcome back. Hope you will share pictures with us as well as stories.

I think because you causally told him you "had been in the wrong job for 23 years and coming close to retirement you were looking forward to doing what you wanted after retirement." is why he concluded you were far more angry than you were in touch with.

Gawd only knows if he would have you committed if you if you had told him about your marriage!

all my best,
Merle

I edited this to show WHO the doctor would have had committed. . .sheesh, so much for my proofreading skills!

Last edited by sinsboldly on 01 Oct 2007, 7:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

well, i dunno that the va is going to like this one i don't think. they weren't doing a "saving private ryan". but it's not anti-war in the usual sense, either. they've been very clear in pointing out why what was done was necessary in the larger sense. the footage is staggering - it must have taken burns years to piece this together (although i do see many repeats of stock footage in there). i've seen like 10 hours of this thing so far and there's a couple more days they're to air more segments. what's come out of it so far in my head is that it's alternately just amazing at what they (my dad's generation) pulled off and then like watching a train wreck at slo mo. if it's a propaganda piece, i can't imagine for what. world insanity?

then again, after it's over and i've gone back and dissected it into shards, as i will do (i always do when something upsets me), it will be way clearer. i'll end up examining the construction of the thing in such detail that i'll know if they were staging it to push hidden emotional buttons or just saying what happened in the correct order. i know there were some big buttons there, they were carefully labeled and one'd have to be an idiot to not see them. it's the little ones to watch for. and i'm sure there were little ones. it's a matter of where they put them and how they're arranged that will tell the purpose of this thing.

in any event, it appears to be well done from what little i remember from the history classes i did have - we always ran out of time at the end of the year and never usually even made it to WWI. besides, the textbooks were written in like the late 50s and would have been useless (as high school texts tend to be - speaking of propaganda) anyway. the video certainly appears seamless. so far. the guy who made it said he did it because people didn't know what the guys who had to go through all that had been through and that they were dieing off at an astounding rate every day now, and it wasn't being remembered. if that was the real reason, he's done well enough of a job in my case that i didn't get any sleep at all last night.

i think the bigger question would be how did they come home after that and then like go to the equivalent of mcdonalds and listen to people squabble about the mundane, and then go back to jobs they used to have as if nothing had happened, without totally losing it?

I didn't mean the Burns piece was propaganda. The needless battle was used as propaganda, bet on it.

The short answer to your last is, they don't. The longer version is they never ever forget. The question to ask is what would they have been like if they hadn't been in that horror. More lost it then we'll ever know.

Merle, I'm so happy that I'll be able to put a face to that lovely voice when I talk to you next time!

Chuck, Good morning to you. Feeling a little cynical today?

Nan, The sad reality is that they face a daily struggle to not lose it. And many of them are destroyed but have no choice but to carry on. It would just be nice if they received the recognition and services they deserve when they come home.

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The gravity of my situation hit me full in the face at 2 AM. I woke up with what I know to be the beginnings of a panic attack. I had the most horrid sense of doom and despair! It is the loneliest feeling that I have ever experienced, but I have learned to talk myself out of it before the panic starts. Last night was a little harder. My mind was running with thoughts of how I am going to do this, is it going to be worth it, should I change my mind, do I need to find a different job, how do I find out if my rent here can be subsidized and if not, where will we live, what will I do with the dogs, and can I keep them if I am working or going to school full time, how am I going to go to school and raise 4 kids, how are the 4 kids going to handle this, what am I doing wrong to keep ending up single, what do I do if my Crohn's comes out of remission.... and the list went on and on and on.............

I finally got back to sleep and proceeded to sleep in, which meant a rush to get everyone out the door this morning. They weren't late, but it was tight! I have no idea what kind of mood I'm in because I don't have time to think about it. If I stop for a minute I'll probably be really cranky!

Sorry for the negativity, just had to get it out! (And I do know my problems pale in comparison to those Nan is talking about.)

is it?
or is it what if there'd been no need to go.
or if they'd never gone, even if there was a need?

trees falling in the forest with nobody there to hear, i think.
still so sad.

umm'k not understanding.

Lauri - They'll all be dead in 10 years, except for the straggler in a nursing home here and there. Then, very sadly, they will start to be forgotten. The whole thing will turn into a chapter in a textbook. Then part of a chapter. Then a paragraph or two. Then something a historian studies in grad school. Maybe a page in a family genealogy photo album.

Like the others for the past 4,000 years. Etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc.......

And then there'll be a new batch. And another new batch. And another, and another, and another.

~~~

You'll manage because you have to manage. You just divvy it up, prioritize, and keep moving. There's no other option.

When you start doing the "chasing your tail" thing, stop. Just stop. Get out a pencil and paper, and start making lists of what needs to be done, what has to be done before other things on the list, what can be delegated, what can't, and then make sure that something gets checked off that list every day. If you're still agitated, clean something. Do something on the list. The same with what you absolutely have to have (i.e., roof, food, basic utilities, medical care).

If it helps, make a schedule. It helped me when I went back to school. I remember making a grid of every waking moment, by 1/2 hour increments, 6:00am to midnight, for every day of the week. They were all filled in with stuff that I had to do that I checked off, except that from 10:00 to midnight on Sunday nights was mine. I strongly recommend leaving at least the two hours for you and making that an absolute.

If it's not something that has to be done, but is only a nice-ity (can't spell it), leave it off unless it is something that keeps your spirits up. If that's the case do it, if you can fit it in (i.e., having a clean house, having no laundry scattered around, whatever.). You might have to do without some of the things you thought important, but priorities will rearrange themselves.

If you don't absolutely have to do it, if one of the kids can be doing it, have the kid do it.

You can't worry about the "what if" disasters. You can arrange things, as much as you can, so you have as much of a disaster plan available in case something does go awry. But you can't stop it from coming by worrying about it. And you can worry yourself into a state where you'll cause your own disaster.

On the good side, you have an extended family and they are nearby. That must be a tremendous comfort - you'll never have to go without a roof or food, really.

You'll make it work. - Nan