The Dino-Aspie Ex-Café (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

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Another tid-bit for my "WP scrap-book"

It's so nice to be able to read through the posts again though I have a lot of catching up to do! Do you know that you all keep me sane?

Be careful, Chuck. You aren't going to take any more of that stuff, are you?

I'll read back to see if that hole in the ground is fixed.

I'll try to remember to try the tab thing.

I'm hoping that I can attend the next meeting of the Socially Anxious/Shy social group I've begun going to. It's getting a little expensive, though. The last two times we ate at fancy restaurants. Now they are planning dinner and a movie. I miss making big bucks, so that this wouldn't be an issue. Oh, well, not to worry. If this onslaught of fatigue keeps up, I probably will have to cancel my RSVP. I was looking into other groups, but some of the numbers were staggering. 14 people were planning to show up at one of them! At another, about 30 people.iI couldn't take that much stimulation. And these people don't have issues like mine. I'll stick to the smaller group, for now!

i read a lot more than i reply to, cause i just don't have the time, just like it to be with you here all in the café, not necessarily with my words. if i had more time, would probably post more pictures and drawings and colours and so.

yeah, a little memory upgrade, some disk space and a little bit of ram for me too please ! !

Me too. Just gave the middle click a try with this post. Thanks.

Nannarob,I'm glad you had a good time....I'm sure your positive energy draws interesting people to you(and your open mindedness allows you to communicate with them).This is one of my biggest regrets in being "shy"...I am really fascintaed by people but hiding under the table,I never seem to get to know as many as I would like.

I was given adderal after I was first DXed AS...I thought it a bt odd,as the psych never said I was ADD/ADHD but recommended that I go see this women who was supposed to be the expert on AS and it's what she prescribed.I took 5 millagrams and another 5 after 6 hours.....I dont think I blinked for 12 hours,or een moved other then hitting the computer "click buttons".....it was a bit "to much" focus for me,so I stopped taking them.I didn;t feel "stimulated",I felt paralyzed and did not like it.I can see how it could "cure stims",as I could barely move but I hated the feeling.Anyone know why my body wld react this way?


Still looking for a name.........

The Face of Aspergers
Aspergers Speaks
A Long Way From Home
Phone Home
Not Typical
The Floors of Perception
NoStarsAponThars

I like the first two, "The Face of Asperger's" and "Asperger's Speaks".

I may take Vyvanse again if I ever decide to become an auctioneer, or need to chew my way out of prison. Otherwise, nothing stronger than sarsaparilla root beer for me please! (I'm an admitted light weight. I get buzzed on half a beer, so rarely drink). It finally wore off at 1:00pm, then my eyes crossed and I passed out for a good 4 hour nap - before heading back to work.

I had to postpone the geologist's survey once again because my partner at work asked me to work both of our shifts until November so that he could vacation with his family. I'll find out what's going on with it one of these days. May wait until spring now - just see if it opens up some more after the winter. (Maybe it will just leave).

"ADHD" is actually a family with at least 9 different sub-types under its umbrella. They may eventually officially merge them all under the heading ADHD as they do now, or as they learn more, may divide it into its subgroups, or rearrange things a bit. In people with ADHD (the hyperactive kind), a stimulant like Adderall stimulates attention pathways, and also stimulates inhibition pathways. So it medically "straitjackets" ADHDers by stepping on their "brakes". I think this is what happened in your case.

I have ADD [the spacey loopy kind - I "zone out" and "space out" (actually, I get deeply lost in thought). Or I head into a room, forget what I went there for, start on something else. Go back later, see something that sparks my memory of what I first intended to do, head back to do it, then forget again. People talk to me, before I know it I'm daydreaming - especially if it is a long one-on-one conversation, or very shortly after "participating" in a group discussion.]. When I take Focalin, I can't over-concentrate and get lost in thought, because it won't allow me to shut out sound and tunnel my vision. For me, the drug increases my distraction level (so I can't think as well), but keeps me from ignoring people who are talking to me, etc. But I still forget what it was I had just intended to do, so I don't think it increases my attention at all.

When I move up to "Adderall level", I not only cannot block out vision and sound, my excitatory pathways are stimulated, as would be seen in a normal reaction to amphetamines. I am definitely NOT ADHD.
I do go through a hyper period each spring though.

The not moving, not blinking, too much focus thing that Adderall did to you is how I am normally. I just sit and stare unblinking while I'm lost in thought. I do this for hours, and sometimes even days.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHQ2756cyD8[/youtube]

Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie

Thanks for the info Chuck.I never thought of myself as ADHD because most situations when I am in public I am like a deer in the headlights...frozen and immobel from fear.I did have teachers when I was younger say I wouldnt stay in my seat,always jumping up to "help" a student who was having problems(they had the nerve to tell me that was "their job",imagine...if they were doing "their job" well enough then the kid wouldnt be heving problems,now would they...but I degress)I was pretty much cured of that by JrHigh,whe I realized the people were dangerious and it was best not to call attention to yourself...thus the "frozen statue" pose.

I seldom had a problem focusing on reading(like my BF)could do it with a TV,radio on but was constantly told I was "spacing out" by others...so maybe there are two different kinds of "attention"?I do think that a big part of "not remembering" where I put my shoes(something that has plegued me since childhood),is because I dont pay attention when I am doing this things...my head is elsewhere.....it's just not being recordered,therefor,no recall.This has recently become a problem at my job and may end up getting me fired......heres what happened yesterday.....



A cat fell out of it's kennel(about 5 feet off the ground.)I dont know for sure,but theis may have been because I didnt latch the door properly after feeding it breakfast.Some of the doors do "stick" but I had never noticed that with this door and even checked it after and it seems to close OK with just a push.The cat is currently at the vets and appears to be paralysed,possible dislocation of hind leg and may have suffered a stoke.I am getting some very dirty looks at work and there is a lot of whispering going on.I dread going back.They had seemed to "tolerate me" up to this point.It isnt the firing that is worrying me it's the hostile vibe I am picking up.I have been scape goated to many times to believe I am being paranoid about this.


A further complication is.......An assistant manager saw the whole thing happen but never reported it.We both saw the cat moving and on it's feet after the fall and she claims that it was fine all day.That night when I came in,another staff told me and another assistant manager that the cat was not moving and laying in it's own urine and feces.
but she had cleaned around it the best she could.We bth thought the assitant manager should contact someone,but it was Sunday night,9pm,and he said she was being "overly dramatic".I checked on the cat several times through out the night and it had changed position but was not standing or eating anything.I wrote all this down in the communication log(including the falling yesterday,which no one had written up....it happened after I had checked out and was leaving for the day and I assumed the assistant manager would file an inciddent report,as she observed it.)....Nobody had written anything all day or night,whcih is pretty usual for this place.

So I talked to the assistant manager when they showed up at 6am and they contacted the manager....now it is "everyone cover your ass time" and I am at the very bottom of the "pecking order" and may have not latched the door(it is possible that the cat unlatched,it has happened).But it has also happened that I(and other,including my manager)have not latched the kennel doors,some of which do "stick".

Sso noe,my wonderful ability to focus...cant seem to focus anywhere else.I ca't seem to process the whole thing.I should have called the manager when I got to work at 9pm,if I had only not let myself worry about what the assistant manager would say abt me "going against his call".I have stepped on so many toes there already,no one wants to get close to me(actualy OK with me,but puts me in a dangerious position as I have no allies).

Check this out

"The Floors of Perception"

That is done right hilarious, very very clever and so dead on. Unfourtantly I fear it would go over the head of a huge part of the population, I don't think they would see the connection. But you know it just might be enough to draw attention to, wtf does that mean, and yet not be insulting to something they don't know about.

I'm going to steal that wordage, but really only going to borrow it at some point. At worst it would be a heading on a post or perhaps a bit in a line. I know good when I see it. Lol, if I start a band I would be forced to call it The Floors. That is just plain outstanding. Who the hell came up with that one?

Never finished the origin meaning of the phrase. I figured what the hell, I was already opening the doors.

He also did a guide book for war gaming, one of the first, but we never did find a copy of it. Dad would have got it in a heart beat for me, I was pretty young. Of course his The War of the Worlds will be around for a very long time.

Glad you like it Postie...now can you tell me what you think it "means"?

I loved the "Doors of Perception"it was one of the most influential books I ever read and his other writing is some of the best as well.It does seem like autism shares some of the features of LSD,opening "senses" and ideas that are not shared by the majority,but very real to us.I'ld call it "doors of perception" it that wasnt already "taken".My recall of his concept is that humans have a "flitering process" that aloows them to ignore anything that they dont consider essential to their surival...LSD and autism both seem to unplug this filter to differing degrees,and allow in much more...sometimes to much to function "well".I think the "laser focus" is an attmept to control this process,redirect it to a manageable "one".Just a theory.

I see floors in to ways....

One,it is what I am usually looking at when I am around people,(using my bat sonar to navigate but still run into doorways alot.)
I am looking at it but it's not what I am usually seeing(unless it has really interesting stone patterns,like granite.It is mearly the "projector screen" that my eyes project my thoughts onto....amazingly,that is why I can be looking at the ground and still "trip" over something I dont see.(Though I have found some cool-rocks and rusty metal,as well).

Two,the floors are all the different destinations our minds take us when we are riding the mind-elevator....I may push for the 12 floor to make my DRs appointment but the elevator stops on the 15 floor....job anxiety and understanding human relations(I hate that floor but the damn thing keeps getting stuck there.)


I would like to hear your take on how you "saw" this,as I would imagine it is as different as when two people look at a painting or reads a poem,each experiences their own "preception".

Krex, I'm sorry to hear that work (or the people at work) are giving you a hard time again. Accidents happen and I hope you don't end up being the only one who catches flack for it. As you said, others have also left the cages unlocked and the cat may have opened it himself. What's done is done and I would say the axe should fall on the assistant manager who totally mishandled the situation. I know none of this helps when you are worried and upset. I'm sending good thoughts your way and hope everything works out alright for you.

Have you had any luck finding another job? Easier said than done, I know. I have to find a new job or decide what to do about the 2 that I have and I just seem to keep putting it off for some reason. There will be conflict, I'm sure that's why I'm avoiding it.